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. U5 l) ~; a. f9 R" C; IMona Simpson and her fiancé, Richard Appel, 1991' {, f: O# }! f, o! P7 R
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Joan Baez
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+ g0 Z- s5 k' z6 @. lIn 1982, when he was still working on the Macintosh, Jobs met the famed folksinger Joan& Q* c/ @2 E/ o# ^
Baez through her sister Mimi Fariña, who headed a charity that was trying to get donations
/ S# ~7 V g% ]7 u+ G4 jof computers for prisons. A few weeks later he and Baez had lunch in Cupertino. “I wasn’t. g. j6 W H9 i7 l- m
expecting a lot, but she was really smart and funny,” he recalled. At the time, he was
' k* B& L( I0 v- P# mnearing the end of his relationship with Barbara Jasinski. They had vacationed in Hawaii,
6 t# z& T1 k" qshared a house in the Santa Cruz mountains, and even gone to one of Baez’s concerts" g" e! `" E# N3 @0 D+ S* W3 J$ {% F6 w
together. As his relationship with Jasinski flamed out, Jobs began getting more serious with
: M7 G8 P, F! f2 y9 M# X5 j0 BBaez. He was twenty-seven and Baez was forty-one, but for a few years they had a+ O; E0 U) T" @: L* H$ v8 j
romance. “It turned into a serious relationship between two accidental friends who became
; \4 y3 r# K4 y1 [lovers,” Jobs recalled in a somewhat wistful tone.
7 `% n' _6 W; L' M9 VElizabeth Holmes, Jobs’s friend from Reed College, believed that one of the reasons he
' N$ O/ G$ |$ S5 {8 m' Bwent out with Baez—other than the fact that she was beautiful and funny and talented—( j* q A2 `/ M: U/ x! Z- M. X9 N
was that she had once been the lover of Bob Dylan. “Steve loved that connection to! j/ R/ [2 x! D; b, X; M0 X, |( b3 Y2 C
Dylan,” she later said. Baez and Dylan had been lovers in the early 1960s, and they toured
; U, S8 K- T x& J3 R/ b5 ^ Xas friends after that, including with the Rolling Thunder Revue in 1975. (Jobs had the
/ s1 O+ R/ V8 d5 v' W7 O4 Ybootlegs of those concerts.)
6 o) x1 a+ d3 v1 B0 hWhen she met Jobs, Baez had a fourteen-year-old son, Gabriel, from her marriage to the# X# N/ t& [7 a V: Y0 O
antiwar activist David Harris. At lunch she told Jobs she was trying to teach Gabe how to
8 |, N) q, x4 _8 }' D, K5 i0 P& N; C' \& ^type. “You mean on a typewriter?” Jobs asked. When she said yes, he replied, “But a
# M5 X- F4 @' j) C% C: `0 t6 M( stypewriter is antiquated.” * x. f/ M& `( I2 R x
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+ [* _' V+ C0 P' P“If a typewriter is antiquated, what does that make me?” she asked. There was an4 T6 q7 d* N" h$ m
awkward pause. As Baez later told me, “As soon as I said it, I realized the answer was so
2 n& G, j6 J0 s- ^4 Zobvious. The question just hung in the air. I was just horrified.”6 M3 u: X8 K( {. \
Much to the astonishment of the Macintosh team, Jobs burst into the office one day with
5 _3 _" \! \% @ [3 ABaez and showed her the prototype of the Macintosh. They were dumbfounded that he
3 j- W( v$ Q# |4 u0 P) ^would reveal the computer to an outsider, given his obsession with secrecy, but they were6 l6 ^ b2 g3 x( l5 Y1 u2 F
even more blown away to be in the presence of Joan Baez. He gave Gabe an Apple II, and
# v* ?" O5 t' Y0 h2 e& w6 ^he later gave Baez a Macintosh. On visits Jobs would show off the features he liked. “He
1 N! F0 U- G+ n$ {. W2 G' Zwas sweet and patient, but he was so advanced in his knowledge that he had trouble
5 ^) ? w9 T7 ?. m* ]teaching me,” she recalled.
0 @- i* c" f# J+ X7 N( e" zHe was a sudden multimillionaire; she was a world-famous celebrity, but sweetly down-( g: v9 G. o/ d9 v) U6 |5 ^$ C
to-earth and not all that wealthy. She didn’t know what to make of him then, and still found
+ P0 a/ ?) }+ t+ h& m5 _& [him puzzling when she talked about him almost thirty years later. At one dinner early in4 q! T8 R. S+ {- o9 q. B. k) T
their relationship, Jobs started talking about Ralph Lauren and his Polo Shop, which she! a$ l2 O0 R' Y: O
admitted she had never visited. “There’s a beautiful red dress there that would be perfect/ e8 O% }/ P3 n2 b$ s+ b2 P
for you,” he said, and then drove her to the store in the Stanford Mall. Baez recalled, “I said8 c. ^ b- M7 f
to myself, far out, terrific, I’m with one of the world’s richest men and he wants me to have" g3 c& w* l% C% p5 Z y' T
this beautiful dress.” When they got to the store, Jobs bought a handful of shirts for himself2 S+ q) F q, e, L/ O
and showed her the red dress. “You ought to buy it,” he said. She was a little surprised, and
0 h4 w$ M; T% i( S9 x3 _; W' G' v0 Qtold him she couldn’t really afford it. He said nothing, and they left. “Wouldn’t you think if
m1 Z2 S& e4 s8 d0 V( P" }someone had talked like that the whole evening, that they were going to get it for you?” she5 n7 H0 \2 A8 a! F
asked me, seeming genuinely puzzled about the incident. “The mystery of the red dress is
7 J* g( }# S! P: S; T5 V" ^4 `in your hands. I felt a bit strange about it.” He would give her computers, but not a dress,
- F0 g4 w1 e5 ]) S" ~and when he brought her flowers he made sure to say they were left over from an event in
( L$ X; b% m$ n1 T0 D& _3 b6 othe office. “He was both romantic and afraid to be romantic,” she said.
+ ]; H+ B* I' T2 O/ \When he was working on the NeXT computer, he went to Baez’s house in Woodside to
3 v( D9 n9 s5 Vshow her how well it could produce music. “He had it play a Brahms quartet, and he told T2 T3 N3 N! L9 R4 C' k" D# F
me eventually computers would sound better than humans playing it, even get the innuendo
2 ^7 _% ?9 D* Tand the cadences better,” Baez recalled. She was revolted by the idea. “He was working
$ `1 A* a E0 P* a C+ D& e; Hhimself up into a fervor of delight while I was shrinking into a rage and thinking, How! P* j$ ?6 @ W. k8 u
could you defile music like that?”
& F: Q7 ]. q. c5 |7 jJobs would confide in Debi Coleman and Joanna Hoffman about his relationship with% m% v& ~5 n- J6 k
Baez and worry about whether he could marry someone who had a teenage son and was
% o' i9 w: m& @0 f7 y: bprobably past the point of wanting to have more children. “At times he would belittle her as
/ }8 ~: k) f! k3 w& l; @, Vbeing an ‘issues’ singer and not a true ‘political’ singer like Dylan,” said Hoffman. “She. Q/ T' l: K, ~. r( H4 d6 s& r
was a strong woman, and he wanted to show he was in control. Plus, he always said he% [0 C3 P% E4 Z& ^. J& h0 ~7 W1 Y
wanted to have a family, and with her he knew that he wouldn’t.”
7 B2 m' L* D0 n- D9 L( EAnd so, after about three years, they ended their romance and drifted into becoming just
, ~% O$ I- H4 W8 Lfriends. “I thought I was in love with her, but I really just liked her a lot,” he later said. “We1 L7 ]" d# o7 a2 Y; C
weren’t destined to be together. I wanted kids, and she didn’t want any more.” In her 1989
1 L! r4 w. V) N8 kmemoir, Baez wrote about her breakup with her husband and why she never remarried: “I6 k& W& D- I, n) X2 u. X
belonged alone, which is how I have been since then, with occasional interruptions that are + g6 F: ?# ?: x y
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3 E- ~$ @+ B1 O) {0 O- F: R! J1 _4 emostly picnics.” She did add a nice acknowledgment at the end of the book to “Steve Jobs/ ~5 a2 p' `9 o
for forcing me to use a word processor by putting one in my kitchen.”
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' D/ M9 S6 d, iFinding Joanne and Mona
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When Jobs was thirty-one, a year after his ouster from Apple, his mother Clara, who was a
2 O/ H2 ?+ t2 B/ csmoker, was stricken with lung cancer. He spent time by her deathbed, talking to her in
( g# T c/ k! p9 o8 W, ` jways he had rarely done in the past and asking some questions he had refrained from
7 I4 p/ o5 m+ u! T; fraising before. “When you and Dad got married, were you a virgin?” he asked. It was hard
2 D0 X* H% c( t+ i# s* ~5 ifor her to talk, but she forced a smile. That’s when she told him that she had been married
& [7 v" z6 ]# W" O" q! Wbefore, to a man who never made it back from the war. She also filled in some of the details
3 \" @* W5 f) a: {+ o$ Qof how she and Paul Jobs had come to adopt him.0 Q% M/ O! ^% g2 Y
Soon after that, Jobs succeeded in tracking down the woman who had put him up for; i6 y4 a% A. F1 C6 Z
adoption. His quiet quest to find her had begun in the early 1980s, when he hired a2 G( A- D0 V) R, }- q" a6 M
detective who had failed to come up with anything. Then Jobs noticed the name of a San
* R0 J* x" j5 r! SFrancisco doctor on his birth certificate. “He was in the phone book, so I gave him a call,”+ e3 S2 P8 Y3 V
Jobs recalled. The doctor was no help. He claimed that his records had been destroyed in a
! E$ h' p9 M Q2 Zfire. That was not true. In fact, right after Jobs called, the doctor wrote a letter, sealed it in
6 k( i; z& ?4 x8 K* h: W( Nan envelope, and wrote on it, “To be delivered to Steve Jobs on my death.” When he died a
( h0 ~% e; k) K0 v) a. N& G+ Eshort time later, his widow sent the letter to Jobs. In it, the doctor explained that his mother. X. \8 _. R% C+ I& |0 u s
had been an unmarried graduate student from Wisconsin named Joanne Schieble. K. E! `9 [$ H
It took another few weeks and the work of another detective to track her down. After8 E5 g: Z J; H5 m
giving him up, Joanne had married his biological father, Abdulfattah “John” Jandali, and" z3 [: ~8 h0 u: F/ ^
they had another child, Mona. Jandali abandoned them five years later, and Joanne married4 z* o4 B: U; Y8 Z1 k! ]
a colorful ice-skating instructor, George Simpson. That marriage didn’t last long either, and
# f' R1 {! f# Z7 f% a0 Xin 1970 she began a meandering journey that took her and Mona (both of them now using
r/ z: b: S6 ?5 g0 |% r' sthe last name Simpson) to Los Angeles.9 ^4 ?- C% p2 p1 I
Jobs had been reluctant to let Paul and Clara, whom he considered his real parents, know
: D, |; ^, H3 [about his search for his birth mother. With a sensitivity that was unusual for him, and which& L5 }) L/ r$ g$ r& X0 s" |, ^
showed the deep affection he felt for his parents, he worried that they might be offended.* z" S a1 T& q ^
So he never contacted Joanne Simpson until after Clara Jobs died in early 1986. “I never2 R* b, r( [# v n( \5 M
wanted them to feel like I didn’t consider them my parents, because they were totally my
* v% ~ U% a( t( m0 Pparents,” he recalled. “I loved them so much that I never wanted them to know of my" C) d( L5 z3 s( X# F
search, and I even had reporters keep it quiet when any of them found out.” When Clara
) ] R' J ?) I/ |died, he decided to tell Paul Jobs, who was perfectly comfortable and said he didn’t mind at
5 Q+ }3 P' k0 h9 p1 |all if Steve made contact with his biological mother.
) Q; s& e' w( [1 z6 i: Q1 Z$ B0 t2 ESo one day Jobs called Joanne Simpson, said who he was, and arranged to come down to
/ D E6 z- u/ c; zLos Angeles to meet her. He later claimed it was mainly out of curiosity. “I believe in- w+ i( a" n" ?4 j
environment more than heredity in determining your traits, but still you have to wonder a
0 _. e# C) i5 Y' c, C: klittle about your biological roots,” he said. He also wanted to reassure Joanne that what she6 @+ }1 z& h( {" m
had done was all right. “I wanted to meet my biological mother mostly to see if she was& {' g% b+ o7 v$ O; n
okay and to thank her, because I’m glad I didn’t end up as an abortion. She was twenty-& k8 V1 P, N# e! Z; q* E
three and she went through a lot to have me.”
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4 {( N. J' ~- t: O8 iJoanne was overcome with emotion when Jobs arrived at her Los Angeles house. She) R- P* `, n% C6 V( D3 u
knew he was famous and rich, but she wasn’t exactly sure why. She immediately began to4 _5 `* L# y9 x2 @& A9 c
pour out her emotions. She had been pressured to sign the papers putting him up for6 P$ D0 N. q4 M1 \! q1 }
adoption, she said, and did so only when told that he was happy in the house of his new$ l& C; _8 y: U
parents. She had always missed him and suffered about what she had done. She apologized# f6 B7 O* U, B: t9 O9 E: E
over and over, even as Jobs kept reassuring her that he understood, and that things had
4 T H: [# N, u" k( eturned out just fine.
6 z* ~8 B& j6 U: AOnce she calmed down, she told Jobs that he had a full sister, Mona Simpson, who was
) y/ Q& a3 q; A0 h$ L& m1 nthen an aspiring novelist in Manhattan. She had never told Mona that she had a brother, and1 c3 ?# N) d- s' B0 F5 G6 v+ I
that day she broke the news, or at least part of it, by telephone. “You have a brother, and2 A4 u+ }/ `7 d
he’s wonderful, and he’s famous, and I’m going to bring him to New York so you can meet
; I, V0 N5 d4 d( _him,” she said. Mona was in the throes of finishing a novel about her mother and their5 G4 V0 j5 Q- B
peregrination from Wisconsin to Los Angeles, Anywhere but Here. Those who’ve read it
, ~# V- G4 V) m4 X4 V5 [will not be surprised that Joanne was somewhat quirky in the way she imparted to Mona( t5 k( f; @& W2 r) U
the news about her brother. She refused to say who he was—only that he had been poor,
. n* }* b8 }* @$ P" Ahad gotten rich, was good-looking and famous, had long dark hair, and lived in California.; b Y& I2 |5 g+ R, E
Mona then worked at the Paris Review, George Plimpton’s literary journal housed on the
& z c5 W0 A8 N4 B9 J# Xground floor of his townhouse near Manhattan’s East River. She and her coworkers began a
/ z# I$ V; r- a* E! B& Vguessing game on who her brother might be. John Travolta? That was one of the favorite' U% b8 v& \. g6 E/ Z* w$ E
guesses. Other actors were also hot prospects. At one point someone did toss out a guess0 b. N, X9 G+ d, r
that “maybe it’s one of those guys who started Apple computer,” but no one could recall6 ^, A' V% m. ^. V* p- E7 Q
their names.8 N. L( f0 N- [
The meeting occurred in the lobby of the St. Regis Hotel. “He was totally
( I5 ~( S5 f, u8 r' P; estraightforward and lovely, just a normal and sweet guy,” Mona recalled. They all sat and
A; |" u. R, n+ Htalked for a few minutes, then he took his sister for a long walk, just the two of them. Jobs
0 X7 I, u& U* s; S! j4 e- Lwas thrilled to find that he had a sibling who was so similar to him. They were both intense0 N) h2 K1 C4 O7 w! L" W, i
in their artistry, observant of their surroundings, and sensitive yet strong-willed. When they
" u" L' z/ q0 N' b: Jwent to dinner together, they noticed the same architectural details and talked about them
. U1 ?' t3 W" b; hexcitedly afterward. “My sister’s a writer!” he exulted to colleagues at Apple when he8 g$ S! M7 A; D# T; g; b2 E' U& }
found out.
9 r" w P* j$ u9 U+ HWhen Plimpton threw a party for Anywhere but Here in late 1986, Jobs flew to New. x- }9 Y. r8 A! K- ?: p4 ?; @# X
York to accompany Mona to it. They grew increasingly close, though their friendship had( ]1 R1 A( R; N1 w- Q1 t
the complexities that might be expected, considering who they were and how they had
' Y2 p6 R7 S. Q _ O) Ycome together. “Mona was not completely thrilled at first to have me in her life and have
8 a. ?" O8 N% @# A( w- qher mother so emotionally affectionate toward me,” he later said. “As we got to know each
1 e. e4 X" C1 D4 oother, we became really good friends, and she is my family. I don’t know what I’d do9 J. |0 Y6 e2 l8 Z
without her. I can’t imagine a better sister. My adopted sister, Patty, and I were never+ i! T+ C2 p. O) z3 N/ f
close.” Mona likewise developed a deep affection for him, and at times could be very- W7 B. @0 ~8 B+ _
protective, although she would later write an edgy novel about him, A Regular Guy, that
' x& e2 [5 `( W9 ^described his quirks with discomforting accuracy.
" d. t, d, L/ N6 \3 ?+ x. o7 z5 dOne of the few things they would argue about was her clothes. She dressed like a
( K* j+ V% u* d+ m% Estruggling novelist, and he would berate her for not wearing clothes that were “fetching
- P4 x/ [5 O% g7 ~2 Kenough.” At one point his comments so annoyed her that she wrote him a letter: “I am a
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) P$ |, M% B) V, Q, s: y+ r5 byoung writer, and this is my life, and I’m not trying to be a model anyway.” He didn’t
% j4 \: ~3 V4 m. _. V* banswer. But shortly after, a box arrived from the store of Issey Miyake, the Japanese
0 r) M9 O3 J7 Y Ofashion designer whose stark and technology-influenced style made him one of Jobs’s
4 t! ^! S/ {" `5 |) m: l# J. \favorites. “He’d gone shopping for me,” she later said, “and he’d picked out great things,
0 h( A9 c' l4 L& d$ r* t$ X! v* E+ jexactly my size, in flattering colors.” There was one pantsuit that he had particularly liked,1 w. \! y, d- ?0 u5 ?
and the shipment included three of them, all identical. “I still remember those first suits I% X3 v& f* o2 Z) I, w) p
sent Mona,” he said. “They were linen pants and tops in a pale grayish green that looked' o8 y' n# Z. ^8 t
beautiful with her reddish hair.”6 ?2 Y# @4 T0 p: U
4 B7 f4 e( [% T, \8 QThe Lost Father8 o2 Y* s( K/ H, B5 ^
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In the meantime, Mona Simpson had been trying to track down their father, who had( U: {. P$ y9 b. D# Y7 Z) e
wandered off when she was five. Through Ken Auletta and Nick Pileggi, prominent
' F$ z( x( K( oManhattan writers, she was introduced to a retired New York cop who had formed his own
8 _* \+ _* W2 l; @, \detective agency. “I paid him what little money I had,” Simpson recalled, but the search3 u( R3 _3 u& i+ S* Q( }
was unsuccessful. Then she met another private eye in California, who was able to find an; G0 W# Y6 v- R9 H8 S( b
address for Abdulfattah Jandali in Sacramento through a Department of Motor Vehicles
; v7 ~- M; s- A& H$ Zsearch. Simpson told her brother and flew out from New York to see the man who was
' B# S4 k& L5 tapparently their father.
& B3 I2 h; N8 p; E5 P: e$ R3 f+ l& ]Jobs had no interest in meeting him. “He didn’t treat me well,” he later explained. “I
2 O8 F1 U; H% J8 @5 O% g7 Rdon’t hold anything against him—I’m happy to be alive. But what bothers me most is that8 X$ m7 b/ ]* Z1 h
he didn’t treat Mona well. He abandoned her.” Jobs himself had abandoned his own
# G+ T* y& E# P* B# lillegitimate daughter, Lisa, and now was trying to restore their relationship, but that
: |( v( }; |' ^& A' T' O5 ecomplexity did not soften his feelings toward Jandali. Simpson went to Sacramento alone.2 z, x8 V. O4 I! [
“It was very intense,” Simpson recalled. She found her father working in a small1 o4 {* g) g* w5 n- H! [' N
restaurant. He seemed happy to see her, yet oddly passive about the entire situation. They
4 H" c8 Q2 o- y5 J% S' Ctalked for a few hours, and he recounted that, after he left Wisconsin, he had drifted away
3 {. S. K, Q( e, h3 Ifrom teaching and gotten into the restaurant business.
! G, I4 ~% a. K' ], L) n1 w: ?; ]Jobs had asked Simpson not to mention him, so she didn’t. But at one point her father
" u' ?# P) X8 Wcasually remarked that he and her mother had had another baby, a boy, before she had been- ]3 M% w# [! Q/ |9 w: o4 `
born. “What happened to him?” she asked. He replied, “We’ll never see that baby again.6 k1 n. ?/ L- w) H: M1 m9 ]
That baby’s gone.” Simpson recoiled but said nothing.: Y5 x: C( f# X! X- s
An even more astonishing revelation occurred when Jandali was describing the previous! h1 h/ l; G' H, H7 i! m
restaurants that he had run. There had been some nice ones, he insisted, fancier than the
6 u4 v8 V4 i% S5 pSacramento joint they were then sitting in. He told her, somewhat emotionally, that he
0 k7 {: t" Y) y3 ]wished she could have seen him when he was managing a Mediterranean restaurant north
$ h( _4 _$ d2 K5 U( t2 vof San Jose. “That was a wonderful place,” he said. “All of the successful technology! g' ?7 [9 g) w" s7 |! @
people used to come there. Even Steve Jobs.” Simpson was stunned. “Oh, yeah, he used to
$ `1 i, |% {% U6 W3 ]: E8 F8 ~5 jcome in, and he was a sweet guy, and a big tipper,” her father added. Mona was able to$ J0 x# m' N) E+ p2 b# t( f
refrain from blurting out, Steve Jobs is your son!
6 |+ Q ]5 A1 l. n8 A& mWhen the visit was over, she called Jobs surreptitiously from the pay phone at the- S' Q; v, ~& T. z2 m2 N
restaurant and arranged to meet him at the Espresso Roma café in Berkeley. Adding to the
/ Q+ i- u1 d* o" S: ~& B; {0 Opersonal and family drama, he brought along Lisa, now in grade school, who lived with her
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( [6 m: \( `& x, Zmother, Chrisann. When they all arrived at the café, it was close to 10 p.m., and Simpson
1 e) t! {1 S+ ypoured forth the tale. Jobs was understandably astonished when she mentioned the
2 |: ]1 ?9 I. [' n# r9 l" ^restaurant near San Jose. He could recall being there and even meeting the man who was- R% ]: R) c* B) m
his biological father. “It was amazing,” he later said of the revelation. “I had been to that
/ x$ b0 V$ A( L% Lrestaurant a few times, and I remember meeting the owner. He was Syrian. Balding. We
" f* b" h7 v/ g I$ y. Wshook hands.”
, ]/ R. _* j* Y+ ]* r6 Z7 iNevertheless Jobs still had no desire to see him. “I was a wealthy man by then, and I S: n8 V3 p, a' @) O/ q
didn’t trust him not to try to blackmail me or go to the press about it,” he recalled. “I asked
8 R/ M% U' p/ k9 {2 vMona not to tell him about me.”
& A# w5 B- f- w k V# n8 R& ?She never did, but years later Jandali saw his relationship to Jobs mentioned online. (A
' v# a/ ?% K d! X, y. Cblogger noticed that Simpson had listed Jandali as her father in a reference book and6 F5 J3 L1 ]6 h m( q# r6 B
figured out he must be Jobs’s father as well.) By then Jandali was married for a fourth time9 \+ }6 ?! r" Q) D U
and working as a food and beverage manager at the Boomtown Resort and Casino just west) c D+ B) v- T1 d
of Reno, Nevada. When he brought his new wife, Roscille, to visit Simpson in 2006, he9 x- c# e% s6 Z( I+ S- F* g
raised the topic. “What is this thing about Steve Jobs?” he asked. She confirmed the story,9 j5 r% A# {6 K0 \
but added that she thought Jobs had no interest in meeting him. Jandali seemed to accept
* f; h1 r0 _9 \# W Dthat. “My father is thoughtful and a beautiful storyteller, but he is very, very passive,”
6 A9 M1 \6 w1 ^! M. ASimpson said. “He never contacted Steve.”- t4 F& _: d8 S9 B
Simpson turned her search for Jandali into a basis for her second novel, The Lost Father,
/ g; ^1 \+ Z, @! o9 _5 ~published in 1992. (Jobs convinced Paul Rand, the designer who did the NeXT logo, to
! g6 a! G! ]+ }4 \- X: Tdesign the cover, but according to Simpson, “It was God-awful and we never used it.”) She) t% M- b8 t( Q. B# z% t N
also tracked down various members of the Jandali family, in Homs and in America, and in
# y- s: T" W; ]: n1 f2011 was writing a novel about her Syrian roots. The Syrian ambassador in Washington
5 P6 v4 S( v. ?threw a dinner for her that included a cousin and his wife who then lived in Florida and had/ @* K" R: p: l% g+ G' C
flown up for the occasion.
5 A9 t! Q2 v. D9 H5 L! X; T7 [7 kSimpson assumed that Jobs would eventually meet Jandali, but as time went on he1 w# e. v* B% |6 w* m
showed even less interest. In 2010, when Jobs and his son, Reed, went to a birthday dinner5 _9 c1 N3 e: V8 i7 y
for Simpson at her Los Angeles house, Reed spent some time looking at pictures of his2 p @. ?9 Z" t' Q3 C; X
biological grandfather, but Jobs ignored them. Nor did he seem to care about his Syrian
) E. D0 L0 y6 }heritage. When the Middle East would come up in conversation, the topic did not engage0 Y/ W/ ^% G) j
him or evoke his typical strong opinions, even after Syria was swept up in the 2011 Arab
8 R0 ^( |5 _8 C8 p, M( \& eSpring uprisings. “I don’t think anybody really knows what we should be doing over
$ W& B/ p! x4 kthere,” he said when I asked whether the Obama administration should be intervening more3 I- v* i% u; W; E9 ?; w$ n6 Y* n5 C
in Egypt, Libya, and Syria. “You’re fucked if you do and you’re fucked if you don’t.”
% K( ?4 m* ]6 e1 I G7 d( |Jobs did retain a friendly relationship with his biological mother, Joanne Simpson. Over# n2 j7 y7 |: g- e) \
the years she and Mona would often spend Christmas at Jobs’s house. The visits could be( _- _7 Q4 l* `1 g/ y
sweet, but also emotionally draining. Joanne would sometimes break into tears, say how5 w% e$ c$ `7 o* H5 p) S7 `& N, X7 c
much she had loved him, and apologize for giving him up. It turned out all right, Jobs- O/ L k/ {2 ^, J
would reassure her. As he told her one Christmas, “Don’t worry. I had a great childhood. I
* j z. M4 \% m( h5 j. [' ]turned out okay.”7 n% `8 D G/ C6 s" `/ q0 X
6 x1 W! f. j& Q9 M. u' |6 I/ C; E
Lisa 6 ~) G: e( f1 e$ u% P F
8 Q$ A( k A, b s9 N5 ~& f; p# [
! M o8 \" L m% ]
~0 l' l v( t: L
/ f) ?3 l* E6 ^ Y c1 p% ^9 _ V5 |( c; q7 ]( K2 y
, g0 z% \2 r5 h. k( e, W
( e) Q1 K, K9 M4 N) V5 ~8 c- |# o" G/ y; ^: L/ O- u
! M0 i- ?% n$ LLisa Brennan, however, did not have a great childhood. When she was young, her father, H; r7 t6 n( Q( J% S
almost never came to see her. “I didn’t want to be a father, so I wasn’t,” Jobs later said,
9 M7 {8 j3 n, q4 iwith only a touch of remorse in his voice. Yet occasionally he felt the tug. One day, when
% C4 _- V; Q& f% E2 BLisa was three, Jobs was driving near the house he had bought for her and Chrisann, and he9 U( Z3 z( U9 F" k1 H" b
decided to stop. Lisa didn’t know who he was. He sat on the doorstep, not venturing inside,
3 ~$ b( }9 b: E( `2 @9 uand talked to Chrisann. The scene was repeated once or twice a year. Jobs would come by
$ [ A5 W! x7 x( w4 Cunannounced, talk a little bit about Lisa’s school options or other issues, then drive off in1 U( ~# ?2 {& ^# Q J6 w) f B
his Mercedes.
, v; F* |" o; s1 q HBut by the time Lisa turned eight, in 1986, the visits were occurring more frequently.$ A4 g P$ n! x( V6 {
Jobs was no longer immersed in the grueling push to create the Macintosh or in the$ {! V( ^" X5 g+ y {
subsequent power struggles with Sculley. He was at NeXT, which was calmer, friendlier,
6 H6 @2 G" `" a9 c. Sand headquartered in Palo Alto, near where Chrisann and Lisa lived. In addition, by the
& [" W' I) P! N, L6 y! ltime she was in third grade, it was clear that Lisa was a smart and artistic kid, who had
/ W, y' b( J2 B+ \( y; A( Kalready been singled out by her teachers for her writing ability. She was spunky and high-
3 X& @: N! \# s* Rspirited and had a little of her father’s defiant attitude. She also looked a bit like him, with
2 {, |7 D. q* qarched eyebrows and a faintly Middle Eastern angularity. One day, to the surprise of his
3 _, Y0 r! P4 A) Ycolleagues, he brought her by the office. As she turned cartwheels in the corridor, she) R4 q' O4 ~" x2 r
squealed, “Look at me!”! P$ T" w r. G1 T# V
Avie Tevanian, a lanky and gregarious engineer at NeXT who had become Jobs’s friend,! S4 h3 M' r% O9 N% \4 Y5 X) t. v2 O
remembers that every now and then, when they were going out to dinner, they would stop
! ]4 j+ M& s6 r8 Oby Chrisann’s house to pick up Lisa. “He was very sweet to her,” Tevanian recalled. “He( \5 I6 h: A. S* O
was a vegetarian, and so was Chrisann, but she wasn’t. He was fine with that. He suggested
/ ?1 E! U9 L E1 R( i' c4 qshe order chicken, and she did.”+ O- F+ M! P, g/ V$ D, _
Eating chicken became her little indulgence as she shuttled between two parents who; g0 \& O7 d7 r7 J2 S8 b+ @
were vegetarians with a spiritual regard for natural foods. “We bought our groceries—our% q' i$ B2 ^# M
puntarella, quinoa, celeriac, carob-covered nuts—in yeasty-smelling stores where the
3 [( _2 ^" x8 \2 X! f: Uwomen didn’t dye their hair,” she later wrote about her time with her mother. “But we
9 x! ^9 V9 ^1 B" H+ h. p% {sometimes tasted foreign treats. A few times we bought a hot, seasoned chicken from a9 `) P, p$ a. W: d; l
gourmet shop with rows and rows of chickens turning on spits, and ate it in the car from the
& `. D. `/ h+ T4 ~4 U+ [5 lfoil-lined paper bag with our fingers.” Her father, whose dietary fixations came in fanatic" i9 U# `6 r d' }7 F
waves, was more fastidious about what he ate. She watched him spit out a mouthful of soup [$ O$ A, Q8 ?. y' @) r1 P
one day after learning that it contained butter. After loosening up a bit while at Apple, he
6 x5 |: l! b( m2 n5 V! lwas back to being a strict vegan. Even at a young age Lisa began to realize his diet- ?5 n! y3 V1 S7 H9 W
obsessions reflected a life philosophy, one in which asceticism and minimalism could. Q# c( u( y2 H3 u3 i |8 T- ?" Q, M! {
heighten subsequent sensations. “He believed that great harvests came from arid sources,4 t2 Y- |# x/ ?. t) Z
pleasure from restraint,” she noted. “He knew the equations that most people didn’t know:
- X4 q, q0 e$ F4 [; nThings led to their opposites.”- H' J2 W! \( U/ p- [4 B: D
In a similar way, the absence and coldness of her father made his occasional moments of
7 R7 r) W0 n7 Z& K6 t1 Kwarmth so much more intensely gratifying. “I didn’t live with him, but he would stop by& c( X1 |( |- q' B' l
our house some days, a deity among us for a few tingling moments or hours,” she recalled.
* v" ~, u0 g8 X% E& B, s c9 OLisa soon became interesting enough that he would take walks with her. He would also go
& o' q/ C2 |. y, e( [+ Arollerblading with her on the quiet streets of old Palo Alto, often stopping at the houses of
* A# a4 D3 ]; A" O4 a, c) _$ z. `Joanna Hoffman and Andy Hertzfeld. The first time he brought her around to see Hoffman, / m% p' a- C; ~
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2 |$ |! B0 w; `" Q( @
7 x: O/ m7 R2 t" m) R: d3 a* ]
& D! d4 q) G5 t
5 v' ~: F6 Y) w7 G' ?7 l; W& q- E8 a% D5 w
1 z/ ?2 B( D, I3 J" E/ Z( T) }1 M# n$ Jhe just knocked on the door and announced, “This is Lisa.” Hoffman knew right away. “It, ^* K) j! O# [7 u1 P" Q" |4 v
was obvious she was his daughter,” she told me. “Nobody has that jaw. It’s a signature
& I* o! g# ~$ V) j9 Pjaw.” Hoffman, who suffered from not knowing her own divorced father until she was ten,
" W; t. ~* m$ {encouraged Jobs to be a better father. He followed her advice, and later thanked her for it.: g% S8 N* R$ n. @! X" | o
Once he took Lisa on a business trip to Tokyo, and they stayed at the sleek and0 ]1 w# r7 O$ _+ T7 \& h# O( Z; m
businesslike Okura Hotel. At the elegant downstairs sushi bar, Jobs ordered large trays of
! U% q; {, X$ f/ f) bunagi sushi, a dish he loved so much that he allowed the warm cooked eel to pass muster as
7 W' b u# ~7 p# s. evegetarian. The pieces were coated with fine salt or a thin sweet sauce, and Lisa/ O4 h* }* K* q' I3 N3 J0 d8 d
remembered later how they dissolved in her mouth. So, too, did the distance between them.
# E' A l2 j0 [2 I6 m) kAs she later wrote, “It was the first time I’d felt, with him, so relaxed and content, over
" `0 Y# F& X ithose trays of meat; the excess, the permission and warmth after the cold salads, meant a k% k" j# R/ O2 l
once inaccessible space had opened. He was less rigid with himself, even human under the0 K5 y; F" ]. A, e) A
great ceilings with the little chairs, with the meat, and me.”
; ~4 Z& N% `( o5 @9 }* UBut it was not always sweetness and light. Jobs was as mercurial with Lisa as he was3 R" y% ?7 g m* @3 e1 L
with almost everyone, cycling between embrace and abandonment. On one visit he would
1 u2 e" u- p6 Y: S; `, |2 jbe playful; on the next he would be cold; often he was not there at all. “She was always
; C. S7 `3 a4 Q5 Z- Lunsure of their relationship,” according to Hertzfeld. “I went to a birthday party of hers,3 F$ ^$ w0 Z) Z2 d* F$ T
and Steve was supposed to come, and he was very, very, late. She got extremely anxious# _" \8 T* P; p7 N3 |
and disappointed. But when he finally did come, she totally lit up.”
( P4 X" [' I# N+ I+ I$ r$ TLisa learned to be temperamental in return. Over the years their relationship would be a, ~! |/ N2 E: l% L) b C- u8 {1 w
roller coaster, with each of the low points elongated by their shared stubbornness. After a# b2 }' m' E! ^8 c J
falling-out, they could go for months not speaking to each other. Neither one was good at9 `) Q) a9 r' S0 b7 U I8 g
reaching out, apologizing, or making the effort to heal, even when he was wrestling with
- V' i/ L3 O: P& B" w+ irepeated health problems. One day in the fall of 2010 he was wistfully going through a box @" o9 q' u/ M A1 e
of old snapshots with me, and paused over one that showed him visiting Lisa when she was0 I* e5 V( i2 R: N
young. “I probably didn’t go over there enough,” he said. Since he had not spoken to her all
1 _, d0 O# s0 \! |8 T. Rthat year, I asked if he might want to reach out to her with a call or email. He looked at me. X6 E1 l$ h: `$ _( C. g
blankly for a moment, then went back to riffling through other old photographs.
4 c; ]/ s7 k8 S# [* T8 P3 j C' ^- e! y* j8 y4 v* i
The Romantic1 N" E5 @; t# ?5 H/ b* X
. t, A2 C: }& d/ a; IWhen it came to women, Jobs could be deeply romantic. He tended to fall in love
* A5 q. ~; _3 }, X) X6 s0 cdramatically, share with friends every up and down of a relationship, and pine in public
! `7 B+ F! d$ b& d, y6 Mwhenever he was away from his current girlfriend. In the summer of 1983 he went to a
4 l# D" i p1 N( G) }2 D2 {small dinner party in Silicon Valley with Joan Baez and sat next to an undergraduate at the( x% y- d Z; c! `0 A$ W) [
University of Pennsylvania named Jennifer Egan, who was not quite sure who he was. By
8 Y3 i8 e5 l) h* R" y4 Gthen he and Baez had realized that they weren’t destined to be forever young together, and
4 e9 { H W, P* \( M1 i4 f/ |4 gJobs found himself fascinated by Egan, who was working on a San Francisco weekly
{/ z, S) w) A$ f( ]0 y0 `. Cduring her summer vacation. He tracked her down, gave her a call, and took her to Café
( p8 d3 C: l) X# z, \( uJacqueline, a little bistro near Telegraph Hill that specialized in vegetarian soufflés.
8 t* [$ p( j- R6 i- SThey dated for a year, and Jobs often flew east to visit her. At a Boston Macworld event,
. C' h! F$ T9 o+ `0 o2 phe told a large gathering how much in love he was and thus needed to rush out to catch a! q& i2 y% L- i( [$ w6 e
plane for Philadelphia to see his girlfriend. The audience was enchanted. When he was 0 T2 J7 x$ l/ p& d( i
* Z* T. w6 d* r; b- k+ V# I
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' `3 E' c) y3 g# W& a! ?% J3 v
' c( |$ g7 t( L9 W2 Q" x
4 {) J, X2 R: {; K) R' H. E, w2 [, |* T" K7 o t* k. l2 h q
7 h7 ]) ?, {- L
, O4 S; p5 H% g* v( E
visiting New York, she would take the train up to stay with him at the Carlyle or at Jay4 K/ ~7 Y# c7 d/ h; B) f
Chiat’s Upper East Side apartment, and they would eat at Café Luxembourg, visit
% `' n' b7 G, r& o9 a(repeatedly) the apartment in the San Remo he was planning to remodel, and go to movies! j8 O+ e- z) r0 g) U) H/ z
or (once at least) the opera.
6 [$ a' }) \! M' a" N* A1 [He and Egan also spoke for hours on the phone many nights. One topic they wrestled
) `) D% m" Z }' R7 w9 u( Mwith was his belief, which came from his Buddhist studies, that it was important to avoid
: w- x5 ^9 r; E N# ^* f8 X& B- Cattachment to material objects. Our consumer desires are unhealthy, he told her, and to/ X0 q! b0 U1 o
attain enlightenment you need to develop a life of nonattachment and non-materialism. He
$ m& p/ y6 b& L) q6 Z3 Seven sent her a tape of Kobun Chino, his Zen teacher, lecturing about the problems caused
& b! H$ ^+ u* n2 Hby craving and obtaining things. Egan pushed back. Wasn’t he defying that philosophy, she& ?' a/ Z3 C1 K3 E0 O; o$ g
asked, by making computers and other products that people coveted? “He was irritated by
/ k3 S7 P* ]0 N1 }0 j" j# bthe dichotomy, and we had exuberant debates about it,” Egan recalled.* [$ Q. O" n+ T7 e9 j
In the end Jobs’s pride in the objects he made overcame his sensibility that people should9 i# w% ], Z. a
eschew being attached to such possessions. When the Macintosh came out in January 1984,
+ _) @8 o7 y# T2 \5 AEgan was staying at her mother’s apartment in San Francisco during her winter break from
1 S; Q. n1 @; |1 C$ u6 ?9 C9 i rPenn. Her mother’s dinner guests were astonished one night when Steve Jobs—suddenly
6 C8 u! s0 k3 `+ }very famous—appeared at the door carrying a freshly boxed Macintosh and proceeded to
/ w3 i: C8 i4 V2 Y/ Y/ E' | PEgan’s bedroom to set it up.; S1 V% m: m5 Z$ q) d8 V! ]/ k
Jobs told Egan, as he had a few other friends, about his premonition that he would not1 u# K. Q. [* x D5 \, {% }& S6 I
live a long life. That was why he was driven and impatient, he confided. “He felt a sense of' I, Q& c' C* R5 B& z O' [) Z% g
urgency about all he wanted to get done,” Egan later said. Their relationship tapered off by! g8 T; {+ O* s4 p
the fall of 1984, when Egan made it clear that she was still far too young to think of getting
/ }4 D1 V$ [0 F* hmarried.
4 Z3 ^! _2 S, a3 E" z d
4 C. y1 T3 X% X$ JShortly after that, just as the turmoil with Sculley was beginning to build at Apple in early
8 l+ i' l3 A2 M& L% s1985, Jobs was heading to a meeting when he stopped at the office of a guy who was: p7 c; j. a4 H$ k5 H% f. {3 L
working with the Apple Foundation, which helped get computers to nonprofit H$ l; D3 i! d) o: t0 _+ k
organizations. Sitting in his office was a lithe, very blond woman who combined a hippie
" Y3 Z+ M2 K3 O2 [! \- Aaura of natural purity with the solid sensibilities of a computer consultant. Her name was
8 H1 r0 ]/ Y+ w lTina Redse. “She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen,” Jobs recalled.4 T* p" u2 w8 C( c
He called her the next day and asked her to dinner. She said no, that she was living with
4 n' t; n$ U5 O6 R4 oa boyfriend. A few days later he took her on a walk to a nearby park and again asked her
+ h9 {8 m0 E& T/ C: B% h8 Wout, and this time she told her boyfriend that she wanted to go. She was very honest and
) A% B& e' G1 x2 Z. A/ zopen. After dinner she started to cry because she knew her life was about to be disrupted.* ]2 {$ H8 o! O2 d/ h- G
And it was. Within a few months she had moved into the unfurnished mansion in
' s) b/ V5 w2 k. yWoodside. “She was the first person I was truly in love with,” Jobs later said. “We had a6 z y/ ^3 [& t8 ]" ~' T# E& Y
very deep connection. I don’t know that anyone will ever understand me better than she+ \8 S7 z5 W4 @! s& O& B3 i
did.”' f3 b; b I# |6 I
Redse came from a troubled family, and Jobs shared with her his own pain about being
: h/ h; L) ? q. Xput up for adoption. “We were both wounded from our childhood,” Redse recalled. “He! y% ^; y% e, H4 F* Z/ {
said to me that we were misfits, which is why we belonged together.” They were physically
& w i' b$ I" ^; m, Y; r" epassionate and prone to public displays of affection; their make-out sessions in the NeXT
& a$ d% X5 G2 A+ klobby are well remembered by employees. So too were their fights, which occurred at
, g x1 @8 @2 \4 G. N1 X- I( X% a
. K3 |; x7 l+ o, V, l. r% r4 P' u& w+ \ v1 Z
: s; b9 B# Z' s2 k
+ w: w% @$ A" y9 x" p( v) @, z+ w# M
, K' o# m' g" i Q1 t/ H1 |, G/ T2 z$ u U; V: @0 L
) g. Y, q3 l# o. O/ |$ M* \( H4 y0 `
2 k9 B+ s) J& {, b& _* }' m( O& U" b$ v" \% M5 }9 P# h$ R6 |! a( q
movie theaters and in front of visitors to Woodside. Yet he constantly praised her purity and' N! E& d- u! r
naturalness. As the well-grounded Joanna Hoffman pointed out when discussing Jobs’s0 }6 Y5 {( g& |/ O7 b) o3 n
infatuation with the otherworldly Redse, “Steve had a tendency to look at vulnerabilities
3 p' L9 I8 o6 T, e' r+ d% {and neuroses and turn them into spiritual attributes.”- R. p; X4 S" A
When he was being eased out at Apple in 1985, Redse traveled with him in Europe,, f# w4 k. y: }! X% K% g- z
where he was salving his wounds. Standing on a bridge over the Seine one evening, they I! I4 {! _/ ]$ M) A
bandied about the idea, more romantic than serious, of just staying in France, maybe
- ]( I# t9 `+ U; U- Hsettling down, perhaps indefinitely. Redse was eager, but Jobs didn’t want to. He was
9 t L! i+ B) c" t! b- U; ^8 pburned but still ambitious. “I am a reflection of what I do,” he told her. She recalled their- }* n8 D% @2 O. {& _
Paris moment in a poignant email she sent to him twenty-five years later, after they had
7 y" S+ x8 m" Q) p/ o& ~gone their separate ways but retained their spiritual connection:8 r3 q0 s, }* ~/ m6 L9 Z+ L
We were on a bridge in Paris in the summer of 1985. It was overcast. We leaned against
+ n& F$ x$ q/ Z# o+ F7 L! W" ^$ T& Othe smooth stone rail and stared at the green water rolling on below. Your world had7 y3 w) R) }0 b
cleaved and then it paused, waiting to rearrange itself around whatever you chose next. I# ~3 c. w& i8 Y3 }+ `2 C2 V4 \5 X
wanted to run away from what had come before. I tried to convince you to begin a new life* i7 W2 b8 [* D% K+ \
with me in Paris, to shed our former selves and let something else course through us. I
$ g `6 O) y* t3 V$ _! y- Awanted us to crawl through that black chasm of your broken world and emerge, anonymous/ K, H$ Q# t2 G/ P% V
and new, in simple lives where I could cook you simple dinners and we could be together
7 `! v' G: z) e& uevery day, like children playing a sweet game with no purpose save the game itself. I like to: y, Q8 t5 g) m$ }2 y
think you considered it before you laughed and said “What could I do? I’ve made myself
) B( E: q/ j$ I) W4 v0 j3 j1 Bunemployable.” I like to think that in that moment’s hesitation before our bold futures
$ C% k+ w8 g: Nreclaimed us, we lived that simple life together all the way into our peaceful old ages, with
. a: r! V+ @, i K# \a brood of grandchildren around us on a farm in the south of France, quietly going about
% _1 y' i$ X1 \) e$ A+ O& a0 [our days, warm and complete like loaves of fresh bread, our small world filled with the
3 Z t3 c3 Q6 h4 R. u) M+ baroma of patience and familiarity.
0 A; u' s' m* \( W; I8 ]0 i6 X3 ]" m8 b
; S; c* p" T1 ]3 ]$ s
n* x) c& L' I8 M# J/ rThe relationship lurched up and down for five years. Redse hated living in his sparsely0 U. g. E' j6 W% w) X/ ^
furnished Woodside house. Jobs had hired a hip young couple, who had once worked at4 Q4 S7 ]* G, x3 P; F9 b1 i! d
Chez Panisse, as housekeepers and vegetarian cooks, and they made her feel like an
1 ]+ q( {4 x) M% q9 x+ einterloper. She would occasionally move out to an apartment of her own in Palo Alto,3 M! Y% V- g) ]! ^% S
especially after one of her torrential arguments with Jobs. “Neglect is a form of abuse,” she; x2 T8 E: A; S6 s/ O7 f& I
once scrawled on the wall of the hallway to their bedroom. She was entranced by him, but; v! I7 f9 H! Q, D3 Z+ _; E; Z
she was also baffled by how uncaring he could be. She would later recall how incredibly0 H" C6 b/ ?9 R) \* M5 |5 Z2 s
painful it was to be in love with someone so self-centered. Caring deeply about someone
8 m; D( r: M( Qwho seemed incapable of caring was a particular kind of hell that she wouldn’t wish on6 l0 y0 i& o/ R6 E5 X7 `/ ?4 }6 B0 H
anyone, she said.
3 @5 l5 F# g: M0 T3 a5 G7 y7 K$ M& cThey were different in so many ways. “On the spectrum of cruel to kind, they are close
9 F0 m; M+ k! N$ [to the opposite poles,” Hertzfeld later said. Redse’s kindness was manifest in ways large0 m* y, N$ |6 P0 Z% \! R" ?7 Y& P
and small; she always gave money to street people, she volunteered to help those who (like
$ \, B9 E) p1 ~3 gher father) were afflicted with mental illness, and she took care to make Lisa and even: a9 R9 p. y2 X! |
Chrisann feel comfortable with her. More than anyone, she helped persuade Jobs to spend# T, H, _& H7 K1 [
more time with Lisa. But she lacked Jobs’s ambition and drive. The ethereal quality that 0 L: K" g$ e; P6 C0 Q5 w- y
: H) b" A3 K' _: Z
! M! g7 O) k8 R( y
# r' j' r. M5 G' W* t' d h
, _/ p: J2 E1 T$ M3 ?
: j8 ~ B! B: b+ ?& T2 o; O$ W3 U* l' r6 ?
# ?, @, N k5 n! v2 G o/ T( T8 l
' i4 n# p7 x6 B$ g
' u& [9 {) @5 I5 y* [/ bmade her seem so spiritual to Jobs also made it hard for them to stay on the same
+ j9 F) ~/ i0 Nwavelength. “Their relationship was incredibly tempestuous,” said Hertzfeld. “Because of
8 r2 H# ]' O5 f2 n1 U" zboth of their characters, they would have lots and lots of fights.”( D; X% _) f* b# B, C. C
They also had a basic philosophical difference about whether aesthetic tastes were O. t$ R) o6 \; C
fundamentally individual, as Redse believed, or universal and could be taught, as Jobs. d& z0 U, Z2 `9 u, B8 T
believed. She accused him of being too influenced by the Bauhaus movement. “Steve- `7 S, y: S6 n9 I: |
believed it was our job to teach people aesthetics, to teach people what they should like,”
+ D+ J2 ]+ x! O& S0 a( z1 Lshe recalled. “I don’t share that perspective. I believe when we listen deeply, both within2 w3 g. K5 B T0 T' z
ourselves and to each other, we are able to allow what’s innate and true to emerge.”% R# n6 y6 {8 o& E! g
When they were together for a long stretch, things did not work out well. But when they' l) D. H2 a3 @9 o$ ?
were apart, Jobs would pine for her. Finally, in the summer of 1989, he asked her to marry
" e! |/ F0 h8 i! b- G/ _. Khim. She couldn’t do it. It would drive her crazy, she told friends. She had grown up in a
5 h L( J4 T% Z# Vvolatile household, and her relationship with Jobs bore too many similarities to that
! l9 ^, ?) Y) ?) B5 l% _* [environment. They were opposites who attracted, she said, but the combination was too, p2 W; e- d6 b0 b$ X
combustible. “I could not have been a good wife to ‘Steve Jobs,’ the icon,” she later2 o. ]4 b/ M" P# n5 |- o, x
explained. “I would have sucked at it on many levels. In our personal interactions, I
& k! d6 w2 q( K4 {5 b4 pcouldn’t abide his unkindness. I didn’t want to hurt him, yet I didn’t want to stand by and8 \) C+ S& b/ O! S8 x
watch him hurt other people either. It was painful and exhausting.”4 t( _6 b+ z9 I, I$ u y/ T: u
After they broke up, Redse helped found OpenMind, a mental health resource network in
, l: }) |- c5 |4 wCalifornia. She happened to read in a psychiatric manual about Narcissistic Personality
& c; ]/ ^* b2 o2 X" f: mDisorder and decided that Jobs perfectly met the criteria. “It fits so well and explained so
' x+ a* G* r1 y$ |3 k1 hmuch of what we had struggled with, that I realized expecting him to be nicer or less self-& S, N4 u6 s! S- P
centered was like expecting a blind man to see,” she said. “It also explained some of the1 a& K( v8 L* o* ~2 }& n
choices he’d made about his daughter Lisa at that time. I think the issue is empathy—the5 ^, M3 m, {* g, X, z; k+ R1 b
capacity for empathy is lacking.”
# K3 t$ S2 h7 D5 s6 Q; WRedse later married, had two children, and then divorced. Every now and then Jobs
( ~0 K4 _8 {, Nwould openly pine for her, even after he was happily married. And when he began his battle3 z9 e: W! J6 x6 Y
with cancer, she got in touch again to give support. She became very emotional whenever H4 S; k& K8 @5 E3 t
she recalled their relationship. “Though our values clashed and made it impossible for us to
/ X5 I5 n: i. F$ |4 b1 F9 w# ehave the relationship we once hoped for,” she told me, “the care and love I felt for him
+ A" x( E( n1 ~decades ago has continued.” Similarly, Jobs suddenly started to cry one afternoon as he sat" y5 T) H9 W8 Z" K! L- T" {# S) C
in his living room reminiscing about her. “She was one of the purest people I’ve ever
: s0 B" R, @6 S8 _4 q j) V0 F% xknown,” he said, tears rolling down his cheeks. “There was something spiritual about her) Z. R! K/ _8 M( W1 s6 D; L K
and spiritual about the connection we had.” He said he always regretted that they could not% t, x! S" b3 e. Z. \: H2 K
make it work, and he knew that she had such regrets as well. But it was not meant to be. On
, ?' B: ^( y j x6 fthat they both agreed.
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At Home with the Jobs Clan
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+ ]2 m4 Z* \& _( y. f* [2 g: MWith Laurene Powell, 1991
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Laurene Powell
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By this point, based on his dating history, a matchmaker could have put together a; M9 }3 b! X5 U: [1 h- U$ [# m
composite sketch of the woman who would be right for Jobs. Smart, yet unpretentious.
6 c a1 v m/ A. }" F# ]$ o% {Tough enough to stand up to him, yet Zen-like enough to rise above turmoil. Well-educated; R; Q/ Q$ H. E
and independent, yet ready to make accommodations for him and a family. Down-to-earth,
- ^* h6 |+ A/ b$ p6 q/ a7 _but with a touch of the ethereal. Savvy enough to know how to manage him, but secure/ t% `; w' ~- J4 d, N+ g
enough to not always need to. And it wouldn’t hurt to be a beautiful, lanky blonde with an5 S. t! J7 a9 O) s
easygoing sense of humor who liked organic vegetarian food. In October 1989, after his4 D1 w; N/ X1 y _
split with Tina Redse, just such a woman walked into his life.3 r/ z1 I% J: Z% T# n8 D
More specifically, just such a woman walked into his classroom. Jobs had agreed to give
0 I7 E2 f3 ^; g: \one of the “View from the Top” lectures at the Stanford Business School one Thursday# c/ T: D& ?+ h+ B
evening. Laurene Powell was a new graduate student at the business school, and a guy in 4 I* `; f. [2 K- _9 d% r
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her class talked her into going to the lecture. They arrived late and all the seats were taken,: E! a6 p4 \7 P( \% @# }
so they sat in the aisle. When an usher told them they had to move, Powell took her friend- i4 d h6 d4 Q1 ?: x
down to the front row and commandeered two of the reserved seats there. Jobs was led to
f; X x9 V) Gthe one next to her when he arrived. “I looked to my right, and there was a beautiful girl
# k( Z+ b5 n9 \ \0 z% S8 ? w$ K4 nthere, so we started chatting while I was waiting to be introduced,” Jobs recalled. They
1 N+ P& B$ p; ~2 ^: f3 {8 d7 Sbantered a bit, and Laurene joked that she was sitting there because she had won a raffle,
# ^9 t8 Z$ U$ D5 L( d2 uand the prize was that he got to take her to dinner. “He was so adorable,” she later said.% b9 L5 Q: _: _' b7 ~. @4 r( V* E
After the speech Jobs hung around on the edge of the stage chatting with students. He& F+ W5 _- {% V7 f2 {6 }5 H x% o
watched Powell leave, then come back and stand at the edge of the crowd, then leave again.# n! |0 g) H* i0 S& s9 s/ C7 W0 {
He bolted out after her, brushing past the dean, who was trying to grab him for a. B) l4 |9 d5 v$ u) K8 L
conversation. After catching up with her in the parking lot, he said, “Excuse me, wasn’t6 H7 ]4 l6 I: H9 ~' p/ r
there something about a raffle you won, that I’m supposed to take you to dinner?” She
5 P6 Q3 O- B( n3 G! ilaughed. “How about Saturday?” he asked. She agreed and wrote down her number. Jobs4 l' f' V$ B+ ]/ X! L
headed to his car to drive up to the Thomas Fogarty winery in the Santa Cruz mountains
6 |! s, N/ j4 l; Babove Woodside, where the NeXT education sales group was holding a dinner. But he/ w7 @8 h& p+ ]8 `- U
suddenly stopped and turned around. “I thought, wow, I’d rather have dinner with her than
* C- h6 V9 Y4 F! Qthe education group, so I ran back to her car and said ‘How about dinner tonight?’” She
4 A- B% x C5 L: c, B- {: Usaid yes. It was a beautiful fall evening, and they walked into Palo Alto to a funky
# c3 j& M; A5 ~7 O# J6 \3 ivegetarian restaurant, St. Michael’s Alley, and ended up staying there for four hours.
7 Q$ n8 C& G- V# I7 ~" }“We’ve been together ever since,” he said.
3 k5 O( C; i. a2 U1 A( |Avie Tevanian was sitting at the winery restaurant waiting with the rest of the NeXT
* I5 G5 h; Z' l( F* I3 heducation group. “Steve was sometimes unreliable, but when I talked to him I realized that
/ U( N1 [( p, |& v: U1 [$ psomething special had come up,” he said. As soon as Powell got home, after midnight, she
% Q# h0 z* V0 S' t+ tcalled her close friend Kathryn (Kat) Smith, who was at Berkeley, and left a message on9 E: n: @$ O9 L: M7 Y8 g, z
her machine. “You will not believe what just happened to me!” it said. “You will not
* `2 R8 V5 r9 F1 P9 ~5 kbelieve who I met!” Smith called back the next morning and heard the tale. “We had known9 Z8 y( [: L1 T6 [$ u, w
about Steve, and he was a person of interest to us, because we were business students,” she
0 I& T @$ L/ M+ u$ G5 z9 Q# Trecalled.$ ^# Q& L1 `4 ?
Andy Hertzfeld and a few others later speculated that Powell had been scheming to meet
& V y0 r; I- ^9 fJobs. “Laurene is nice, but she can be calculating, and I think she targeted him from the
7 ~. w0 I9 v; L. c# X* F) \beginning,” Hertzfeld said. “Her college roommate told me that Laurene had magazine: i" P( W) Y4 O# n
covers of Steve and vowed she was going to meet him. If it’s true that Steve was+ X* u x' T5 e
manipulated, there is a fair amount of irony there.” But Powell later insisted that this wasn’t
0 j; I e9 y0 [, u$ g1 v+ R+ ]. }, Ithe case. She went only because her friend wanted to go, and she was slightly confused as
+ m8 d5 h8 i9 @; ~9 L) k4 Qto who they were going to see. “I knew that Steve Jobs was the speaker, but the face I
7 D2 H& H* _& _thought of was that of Bill Gates,” she recalled. “I had them mixed up. This was 1989. He
1 N! h9 u$ q& w" t2 P+ c7 ^was working at NeXT, and he was not that big of a deal to me. I wasn’t that enthused, but, x* o- [* _# R
my friend was, so we went.”
; r7 P; M3 i$ m+ f% J8 c“There were only two women in my life that I was truly in love with, Tina and Laurene,”
' a2 N6 {/ O! ^3 b* dJobs later said. “I thought I was in love with Joan Baez, but I really just liked her a lot. It
4 ~. h9 v! C/ g$ d7 b9 Rwas just Tina and then Laurene.”
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Laurene Powell had been born in New Jersey in 1963 and learned to be self-sufficient at an; p+ L) S' B4 P1 Y& B! p1 ?5 v6 J
early age. Her father was a Marine Corps pilot who died a hero in a crash in Santa Ana,& f/ ~2 H( n0 b3 M( p0 Y3 g5 J% \$ j
California; he had been leading a crippled plane in for a landing, and when it hit his plane, S0 f( \( l% p0 `% W9 l
he kept flying to avoid a residential area rather than ejecting in time to save his life. Her& T, a I3 n" v. L( s* `- j& L
mother’s second marriage turned out to be a horrible situation, but she felt she couldn’t
, Q6 V$ e2 |3 L5 B5 k2 nleave because she had no means to support her large family. For ten years Laurene and her
; x9 o5 B4 e9 {three brothers had to suffer in a tense household, keeping a good demeanor while+ L0 N6 a+ y" ]6 T( |
compartmentalizing problems. She did well. “The lesson I learned was clear, that I always: J5 y9 v" P/ l1 a/ w- t
wanted to be self-sufficient,” she said. “I took pride in that. My relationship with money is% x. w6 w4 `7 _* f
that it’s a tool to be self-sufficient, but it’s not something that is part of who I am.”
; r: l+ `! g* d" XAfter graduating from the University of Pennsylvania, she worked at Goldman Sachs as
) S3 C* d/ U" n4 Q' ^% a k: z9 ja fixed income trading strategist, dealing with enormous sums of money that she traded for" F4 W. G/ T, N9 G' {
the house account. Jon Corzine, her boss, tried to get her to stay at Goldman, but instead
% `6 ]3 u" t+ n ~! lshe decided the work was unedifying. “You could be really successful,” she said, “but
0 \( t3 m/ Z; _# B9 cyou’re just contributing to capital formation.” So after three years she quit and went to
% y% A! z# g3 {) }2 A+ lFlorence, Italy, living there for eight months before enrolling in Stanford Business School.! H7 H8 k/ ]7 w8 V; C: X
After their Thursday night dinner, she invited Jobs over to her Palo Alto apartment on; H& x; Q" _& o Y1 K( A% i
Saturday. Kat Smith drove down from Berkeley and pretended to be her roommate so she
]2 P: q' k% ^could meet him as well. Their relationship became very passionate. “They would kiss and C3 P" w. G5 |7 Z0 \$ W* C8 ]* f2 C
make out,” Smith said. “He was enraptured with her. He would call me on the phone and) P& R. l1 {5 n, g: x3 `6 V; X% f
ask, ‘What do you think, does she like me?’ Here I am in this bizarre position of having this7 n7 G0 t5 T* N8 F% Z
iconic person call me.”/ C/ X* m: R6 ^4 \
That New Year’s Eve of 1989 the three went to Chez Panisse, the famed Alice Waters9 Y# F- e) H+ w4 I/ ~4 H$ {
restaurant in Berkeley, along with Lisa, then eleven. Something happened at the dinner that9 O4 x; V, r8 F) P( K* w* Z8 }
caused Jobs and Powell to start arguing. They left separately, and Powell ended up0 ~+ \7 `! s% T7 @
spending the night at Kat Smith’s apartment. At nine the next morning there was a knock at( J: Z1 u8 f$ h& u! z4 y' d
the door, and Smith opened it to find Jobs, standing in the drizzle holding some
1 g4 `$ L3 c' Iwildflowers he had picked. “May I come in and see Laurene?” he said. She was still asleep,
: b: P5 T+ k8 V8 w0 b7 i" j l8 oand he walked into the bedroom. A couple of hours went by, while Smith waited in the
& x' N. }# e) v1 Jliving room, unable to go in and get her clothes. Finally, she put a coat on over her
+ w) x' `/ D* X& _$ ? o- O/ wnightgown and went to Peet’s Coffee to pick up some food. Jobs did not emerge until after
8 U7 u, b& o8 T6 `0 F1 Y7 Anoon. “Kat, can you come here for a minute?” he asked. They all gathered in the bedroom.
( X% `' p7 B& K/ c$ C0 w“As you know, Laurene’s father passed away, and Laurene’s mother isn’t here, and since
% H( B2 L# E/ K# f- |you’re her best friend, I’m going to ask you the question,” he said. “I’d like to marry& h# f! X2 V' q4 B7 p: w! N
Laurene. Will you give your blessing?”& X- `8 E3 G( D5 Y
Smith clambered onto the bed and thought about it. “Is this okay with you?” she asked
" l; h: I1 v( h6 b( a( nPowell. When she nodded yes, Smith announced, “Well, there’s your answer.”
+ k& z! N0 X& a9 L; L' e @6 j4 LIt was not, however, a definitive answer. Jobs had a way of focusing on something with6 |# K" b) _% `5 I* b6 d
insane intensity for a while and then, abruptly, turning away his gaze. At work, he would# Q$ ]4 U. ?/ i& C
focus on what he wanted to, when he wanted to, and on other matters he would be
) r0 H/ P) }2 _5 M" }. f P$ P$ n2 dunresponsive, no matter how hard people tried to get him to engage. In his personal life, he
+ y& I: p8 `; k. \% |1 Kwas the same way. At times he and Powell would indulge in public displays of affection
. e8 p- _2 u( k2 jthat were so intense they embarrassed everyone in their presence, including Kat Smith and
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Powell’s mother. In the mornings at his Woodside mansion, he would wake Powell up by* D+ H+ T, M3 d8 N5 p
blasting the Fine Young Cannibals’ “She Drives Me Crazy” on his tape deck. Yet at other
+ w0 h" A0 J0 A# B4 n _1 Qtimes he would ignore her. “Steve would fluctuate between intense focus, where she was+ f1 b! h3 }& |) B/ E+ D( J6 o
the center of the universe, to being coldly distant and focused on work,” said Smith. “He
2 d. p7 s3 B; U( M& w% ]6 [had the power to focus like a laser beam, and when it came across you, you basked in the
; p% K& B# i! r7 M" e( [6 A+ llight of his attention. When it moved to another point of focus, it was very, very dark for
* Y- B/ Z: r$ x) o e# U1 I6 Qyou. It was very confusing to Laurene.”
* a& j$ j" W7 e# q; UOnce she had accepted his marriage proposal on the first day of 1990, he didn’t mention
* k! }3 e. _9 rit again for several months. Finally, Smith confronted him while they were sitting on the; J* f) w; a7 o
edge of a sandbox in Palo Alto. What was going on? Jobs replied that he needed to feel sure: C* @' t$ e- T
that Powell could handle the life he lived and the type of person he was. In September she% A% N5 z3 W; m( I2 y
became fed up with waiting and moved out. The following month, he gave her a diamond
9 L1 j4 K8 f1 Sengagement ring, and she moved back in.
- B9 L$ d/ ]' x& y- bIn December Jobs took Powell to his favorite vacation spot, Kona Village in Hawaii. He
" J% Z) H2 x/ Uhad started going there nine years earlier when, stressed out at Apple, he had asked his9 v% |" U: I% G: d
assistant to pick out a place for him to escape. At first glance, he didn’t like the cluster of% f# p' B- Z5 K" O9 D/ O
sparse thatched-roof bungalows nestled on a beach on the big island of Hawaii. It was a
4 W8 N6 e, D0 x& Afamily resort, with communal eating. But within hours he had begun to view it as paradise.
# G+ x8 h, v! N# kThere was a simplicity and spare beauty that moved him, and he returned whenever he# ~+ m# l& Y& \# V4 d. C
could. He especially enjoyed being there that December with Powell. Their love had; ~* ?- H$ r( m) [
matured. The night before Christmas he again declared, even more formally, that he wanted8 L1 s' J+ [3 ]( |
to marry her. Soon another factor would drive that decision. While in Hawaii, Powell got2 f4 Y* U# Q$ J3 p6 {+ {$ I
pregnant. “We know exactly where it happened,” Jobs later said with a laugh.
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The Wedding, March 18, 19919 Z# g& Q9 k' x1 o
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