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4 M* U) P% z; c- |, M+ zMona Simpson and her fiancé, Richard Appel, 19917 g0 u9 D: m( i
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Joan Baez
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In 1982, when he was still working on the Macintosh, Jobs met the famed folksinger Joan
% Q; @- n0 N0 P' M, E5 v) O, zBaez through her sister Mimi Fariña, who headed a charity that was trying to get donations
& p: i0 ]5 S. n/ p2 Rof computers for prisons. A few weeks later he and Baez had lunch in Cupertino. “I wasn’t+ S$ M; c+ f5 k8 u! `
expecting a lot, but she was really smart and funny,” he recalled. At the time, he was c; g# n% \- X, Z1 [1 q, ]
nearing the end of his relationship with Barbara Jasinski. They had vacationed in Hawaii,
6 U; _. T3 x0 Yshared a house in the Santa Cruz mountains, and even gone to one of Baez’s concerts
" P/ H3 ?! h3 w9 ^4 G2 S% \together. As his relationship with Jasinski flamed out, Jobs began getting more serious with
Y- x. B9 p$ tBaez. He was twenty-seven and Baez was forty-one, but for a few years they had a: u# ]7 p; y- |& `0 Z; a
romance. “It turned into a serious relationship between two accidental friends who became0 c3 }: f5 |; H% m0 |1 I I" b
lovers,” Jobs recalled in a somewhat wistful tone.1 ~( |4 x$ @( P' r1 p
Elizabeth Holmes, Jobs’s friend from Reed College, believed that one of the reasons he0 X H6 M) B O+ Q
went out with Baez—other than the fact that she was beautiful and funny and talented—+ \) _ M x2 `) k( Y# O$ }' Y' m
was that she had once been the lover of Bob Dylan. “Steve loved that connection to( `% |7 m+ S' Q3 I* h
Dylan,” she later said. Baez and Dylan had been lovers in the early 1960s, and they toured& [% |8 T M, y' l' ^+ T1 I
as friends after that, including with the Rolling Thunder Revue in 1975. (Jobs had the' L$ r# ?+ K' j+ _. B
bootlegs of those concerts.)
4 M5 F$ ]" I8 ?5 c2 v' DWhen she met Jobs, Baez had a fourteen-year-old son, Gabriel, from her marriage to the4 x7 q. o( L' @( k1 S
antiwar activist David Harris. At lunch she told Jobs she was trying to teach Gabe how to" z! | y0 S- A# n% m/ z
type. “You mean on a typewriter?” Jobs asked. When she said yes, he replied, “But a
+ f5 Y9 U- ^& `( n( mtypewriter is antiquated.” 8 O9 g2 \* u1 W- m
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, `: i: a6 R$ u/ G“If a typewriter is antiquated, what does that make me?” she asked. There was an! P+ F7 x6 u5 T( v6 l; y9 b: m
awkward pause. As Baez later told me, “As soon as I said it, I realized the answer was so Y: Y9 j, j$ A
obvious. The question just hung in the air. I was just horrified.”$ y$ i! I3 Y2 X3 G
Much to the astonishment of the Macintosh team, Jobs burst into the office one day with, |. \; O# Z! C6 [( W- b$ I
Baez and showed her the prototype of the Macintosh. They were dumbfounded that he
1 p. F& t6 E4 e Rwould reveal the computer to an outsider, given his obsession with secrecy, but they were1 A0 \8 n, ?3 @# z; S
even more blown away to be in the presence of Joan Baez. He gave Gabe an Apple II, and
: o& V0 s" y9 J1 o; ?1 Bhe later gave Baez a Macintosh. On visits Jobs would show off the features he liked. “He
|, [8 E8 k4 F- Q9 Iwas sweet and patient, but he was so advanced in his knowledge that he had trouble1 B5 w) b# f+ t; A D$ Z3 \( g: ?
teaching me,” she recalled.$ p: K, R: w9 e6 D9 ]3 I) @7 p
He was a sudden multimillionaire; she was a world-famous celebrity, but sweetly down-' I- m, f1 \2 {" x- L. ~# @
to-earth and not all that wealthy. She didn’t know what to make of him then, and still found
& y0 _1 S4 w" whim puzzling when she talked about him almost thirty years later. At one dinner early in* {) b; ?& p, x. |% g! \9 C
their relationship, Jobs started talking about Ralph Lauren and his Polo Shop, which she! ~: K% Y7 V5 F$ [8 ^5 I
admitted she had never visited. “There’s a beautiful red dress there that would be perfect2 a1 o i1 ~, e, z2 G
for you,” he said, and then drove her to the store in the Stanford Mall. Baez recalled, “I said
5 o, N7 Y h Y# I/ U3 Eto myself, far out, terrific, I’m with one of the world’s richest men and he wants me to have, ~; m9 q6 C: \
this beautiful dress.” When they got to the store, Jobs bought a handful of shirts for himself
) W, O3 E0 L# w5 M1 Oand showed her the red dress. “You ought to buy it,” he said. She was a little surprised, and( ?' B. }& E1 o& H8 m1 R; z
told him she couldn’t really afford it. He said nothing, and they left. “Wouldn’t you think if
0 r/ e" x, n1 k! w/ N. ?0 G( ?someone had talked like that the whole evening, that they were going to get it for you?” she4 k# M. f, V4 z* w+ c
asked me, seeming genuinely puzzled about the incident. “The mystery of the red dress is
% A [* ]# A0 O7 W. r" Ein your hands. I felt a bit strange about it.” He would give her computers, but not a dress,
6 ~3 e. [9 e+ _( l$ _& Tand when he brought her flowers he made sure to say they were left over from an event in
, t7 J/ d# g4 e0 v9 m' H4 v$ }the office. “He was both romantic and afraid to be romantic,” she said.6 U8 S+ _9 G( w& j
When he was working on the NeXT computer, he went to Baez’s house in Woodside to2 u1 W- b7 ?& O+ E
show her how well it could produce music. “He had it play a Brahms quartet, and he told, W3 J" R6 W L3 \/ Q) C. ^
me eventually computers would sound better than humans playing it, even get the innuendo$ _/ ~3 p# k; K& c8 A
and the cadences better,” Baez recalled. She was revolted by the idea. “He was working1 t4 U {1 ]+ [3 q
himself up into a fervor of delight while I was shrinking into a rage and thinking, How
3 u' D# C- f! X, Vcould you defile music like that?”. n0 ]& ?7 C9 v/ s
Jobs would confide in Debi Coleman and Joanna Hoffman about his relationship with$ @! d; x* W; S7 V
Baez and worry about whether he could marry someone who had a teenage son and was
2 n- J$ C* G. b+ _ w. U1 pprobably past the point of wanting to have more children. “At times he would belittle her as
* `7 l# w$ e" lbeing an ‘issues’ singer and not a true ‘political’ singer like Dylan,” said Hoffman. “She
# t/ k0 [9 e( V5 U2 Twas a strong woman, and he wanted to show he was in control. Plus, he always said he
\9 f$ |% w9 Jwanted to have a family, and with her he knew that he wouldn’t.”% ?6 {0 G: F; W, U
And so, after about three years, they ended their romance and drifted into becoming just- F5 u# q$ `9 J& ?- a u5 R2 H6 H( M
friends. “I thought I was in love with her, but I really just liked her a lot,” he later said. “We2 Z, R3 C- W% o' U% {# y" j S& s7 J3 d5 }9 p
weren’t destined to be together. I wanted kids, and she didn’t want any more.” In her 1989
* v, U1 f* j2 x- [' \memoir, Baez wrote about her breakup with her husband and why she never remarried: “I
8 o+ d' v: k% {9 nbelonged alone, which is how I have been since then, with occasional interruptions that are
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) u4 V1 l$ e5 I- D) W/ V( fmostly picnics.” She did add a nice acknowledgment at the end of the book to “Steve Jobs
4 {0 V& t+ o* t0 C' Vfor forcing me to use a word processor by putting one in my kitchen.”
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Finding Joanne and Mona
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When Jobs was thirty-one, a year after his ouster from Apple, his mother Clara, who was a" F" b$ e) [2 P
smoker, was stricken with lung cancer. He spent time by her deathbed, talking to her in
- w. r5 d8 Q( s) Q6 d* D' z9 bways he had rarely done in the past and asking some questions he had refrained from
7 V$ Z! J" O7 i5 s! J; [raising before. “When you and Dad got married, were you a virgin?” he asked. It was hard4 y* |1 @8 n& _
for her to talk, but she forced a smile. That’s when she told him that she had been married6 e2 @% t7 s# s! x, Y0 X) Z
before, to a man who never made it back from the war. She also filled in some of the details
8 K/ x: v+ D( }4 [of how she and Paul Jobs had come to adopt him.( V$ ]! [0 O" |! O; {* F+ P U, l
Soon after that, Jobs succeeded in tracking down the woman who had put him up for1 c! h! S( O! J/ ?
adoption. His quiet quest to find her had begun in the early 1980s, when he hired a
* U T5 V2 L. a0 Z! Rdetective who had failed to come up with anything. Then Jobs noticed the name of a San7 y" m5 c. U- c' f- I! P" {$ e
Francisco doctor on his birth certificate. “He was in the phone book, so I gave him a call,”
3 }* v3 T* d1 DJobs recalled. The doctor was no help. He claimed that his records had been destroyed in a& _% E$ N- O% F" w D
fire. That was not true. In fact, right after Jobs called, the doctor wrote a letter, sealed it in, u6 [* K7 Q/ q$ Y" V+ q
an envelope, and wrote on it, “To be delivered to Steve Jobs on my death.” When he died a
8 r" o9 ?' f& _1 w- P9 v Cshort time later, his widow sent the letter to Jobs. In it, the doctor explained that his mother$ _, f: `8 s$ e: \8 p1 j
had been an unmarried graduate student from Wisconsin named Joanne Schieble.' J, |5 J3 w3 |$ v) ?5 [
It took another few weeks and the work of another detective to track her down. After
6 l7 ? j, U, ] P- qgiving him up, Joanne had married his biological father, Abdulfattah “John” Jandali, and9 t5 S+ b4 J' h8 l2 c4 x
they had another child, Mona. Jandali abandoned them five years later, and Joanne married
6 ]* q1 |" Y% s% R2 ma colorful ice-skating instructor, George Simpson. That marriage didn’t last long either, and% q) _8 d3 W8 k: a: Y* D6 A8 Y
in 1970 she began a meandering journey that took her and Mona (both of them now using
5 b$ n Z% B/ a! V. Sthe last name Simpson) to Los Angeles.
2 g7 {" J3 Z; u, P: l( m- t, xJobs had been reluctant to let Paul and Clara, whom he considered his real parents, know
0 Y- X4 n( n1 K! ^$ g- mabout his search for his birth mother. With a sensitivity that was unusual for him, and which" s- X" N8 i# m5 `
showed the deep affection he felt for his parents, he worried that they might be offended.0 Z9 b" {. D3 P. R
So he never contacted Joanne Simpson until after Clara Jobs died in early 1986. “I never6 i- K; Y& w! b3 @+ N9 f6 [
wanted them to feel like I didn’t consider them my parents, because they were totally my, N! \+ K/ P" |9 H- t/ X9 a: j
parents,” he recalled. “I loved them so much that I never wanted them to know of my# B/ a2 G- L+ ?8 q
search, and I even had reporters keep it quiet when any of them found out.” When Clara- f. g# Y/ k, N3 j
died, he decided to tell Paul Jobs, who was perfectly comfortable and said he didn’t mind at0 y. P: N8 }, G, ` i! H
all if Steve made contact with his biological mother.
( ]5 ]0 s; S7 `! _! YSo one day Jobs called Joanne Simpson, said who he was, and arranged to come down to1 U j" h( {6 ~5 o2 m, _; P/ E2 Z
Los Angeles to meet her. He later claimed it was mainly out of curiosity. “I believe in
) Y6 I4 f' x8 E" ~, renvironment more than heredity in determining your traits, but still you have to wonder a
4 T' C# K5 D$ g( o+ e3 Klittle about your biological roots,” he said. He also wanted to reassure Joanne that what she
. o* O, y+ [5 ~$ n8 O' _had done was all right. “I wanted to meet my biological mother mostly to see if she was8 n* [0 i( a! S R8 v* Z9 f
okay and to thank her, because I’m glad I didn’t end up as an abortion. She was twenty-
: M" Q# i& g; U f, K' Q) L2 N: u1 ?$ Vthree and she went through a lot to have me.” 2 N! ?' Z$ Q+ v- @& n+ t: l
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Joanne was overcome with emotion when Jobs arrived at her Los Angeles house. She
" k7 T% n$ I& C/ Z: c6 P# Oknew he was famous and rich, but she wasn’t exactly sure why. She immediately began to) Q: @- G4 m) f) `
pour out her emotions. She had been pressured to sign the papers putting him up for
: O+ A# k; J7 `6 j( y* v; fadoption, she said, and did so only when told that he was happy in the house of his new2 s* @% N( }5 P5 i" j, J
parents. She had always missed him and suffered about what she had done. She apologized. \" }7 N5 ]. F! d4 g6 |
over and over, even as Jobs kept reassuring her that he understood, and that things had* O% E- X7 c! l4 K0 ^0 f
turned out just fine.
" x: L( k }- }, Y. I/ f( iOnce she calmed down, she told Jobs that he had a full sister, Mona Simpson, who was
- t8 ~4 X$ \0 @- f1 g+ L% Dthen an aspiring novelist in Manhattan. She had never told Mona that she had a brother, and& `: a. R- I4 a6 i0 a6 A0 I+ ^6 _
that day she broke the news, or at least part of it, by telephone. “You have a brother, and
5 E# q5 p0 E0 E# f* }he’s wonderful, and he’s famous, and I’m going to bring him to New York so you can meet
9 L) h8 V* W1 M# [; t1 E5 O$ \, Ehim,” she said. Mona was in the throes of finishing a novel about her mother and their
! b: ^) | X* P- y) F" c# t0 eperegrination from Wisconsin to Los Angeles, Anywhere but Here. Those who’ve read it
" D$ u2 _) _) Q; x4 s) d) u- Nwill not be surprised that Joanne was somewhat quirky in the way she imparted to Mona& K5 u' F5 w5 x- G9 S2 o" A* \
the news about her brother. She refused to say who he was—only that he had been poor,
& k; H. k/ f! o& f7 Y& D$ [/ B, H" bhad gotten rich, was good-looking and famous, had long dark hair, and lived in California.2 h$ m( `* L5 x
Mona then worked at the Paris Review, George Plimpton’s literary journal housed on the$ a- i! p$ Q; Q) ]* G8 z& ?4 l# S6 z
ground floor of his townhouse near Manhattan’s East River. She and her coworkers began a0 Q9 d# _% c; i% R
guessing game on who her brother might be. John Travolta? That was one of the favorite
7 L" u8 I% L+ x Cguesses. Other actors were also hot prospects. At one point someone did toss out a guess
0 V% e5 N, ^1 c; ~5 q0 s- Rthat “maybe it’s one of those guys who started Apple computer,” but no one could recall
% H, P% s4 n5 w3 m* Utheir names.4 V1 g6 x3 o# ?2 L* D! q4 Y
The meeting occurred in the lobby of the St. Regis Hotel. “He was totally6 q/ |$ N4 W) j Q
straightforward and lovely, just a normal and sweet guy,” Mona recalled. They all sat and/ b6 Y/ A; b- U1 B, f. w: x$ _
talked for a few minutes, then he took his sister for a long walk, just the two of them. Jobs
7 B$ X5 C' o; Y: N" iwas thrilled to find that he had a sibling who was so similar to him. They were both intense
, N) b& L: ^, h$ Y' D+ i3 Win their artistry, observant of their surroundings, and sensitive yet strong-willed. When they; w# e: h5 P2 V% O
went to dinner together, they noticed the same architectural details and talked about them
' t" b3 u; u1 ^- dexcitedly afterward. “My sister’s a writer!” he exulted to colleagues at Apple when he S3 S; @5 [+ L' N
found out.& P2 j+ U8 l- x4 l: g* e% V
When Plimpton threw a party for Anywhere but Here in late 1986, Jobs flew to New: c0 w9 Q+ W, s! x7 w+ S8 d
York to accompany Mona to it. They grew increasingly close, though their friendship had- N2 `2 c H6 X( r& W o7 J, z! k
the complexities that might be expected, considering who they were and how they had
% `/ |, w( K' w1 d9 K* rcome together. “Mona was not completely thrilled at first to have me in her life and have. S% e& W F) e8 `( x
her mother so emotionally affectionate toward me,” he later said. “As we got to know each" [/ V( e% R5 o: e
other, we became really good friends, and she is my family. I don’t know what I’d do$ J2 C7 P5 m" a6 y |0 `: V! g ^
without her. I can’t imagine a better sister. My adopted sister, Patty, and I were never
. p' Z; q6 C: u+ j6 c( m9 oclose.” Mona likewise developed a deep affection for him, and at times could be very0 K& k T. O0 s. T0 D) h8 l
protective, although she would later write an edgy novel about him, A Regular Guy, that
3 k4 A. {8 Z9 l3 o9 p3 ~described his quirks with discomforting accuracy.
5 `4 w7 v' N, Z0 H- aOne of the few things they would argue about was her clothes. She dressed like a
& }: O) g6 l1 V: ~ Pstruggling novelist, and he would berate her for not wearing clothes that were “fetching; Z/ e4 ?; J/ Q
enough.” At one point his comments so annoyed her that she wrote him a letter: “I am a
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) u+ C2 `( S. Y2 b1 Uyoung writer, and this is my life, and I’m not trying to be a model anyway.” He didn’t- i$ H, L. t, M- d& I& d$ T: {5 v, {
answer. But shortly after, a box arrived from the store of Issey Miyake, the Japanese' S7 m" l2 l3 [$ }& u5 a
fashion designer whose stark and technology-influenced style made him one of Jobs’s" D# B3 l! C3 j- q
favorites. “He’d gone shopping for me,” she later said, “and he’d picked out great things,; j$ g3 n, C( A1 P& T; Q
exactly my size, in flattering colors.” There was one pantsuit that he had particularly liked,7 [2 Q' I9 t2 H; y8 v9 }# B
and the shipment included three of them, all identical. “I still remember those first suits I0 [& U% }$ P- x( C/ j# x+ q
sent Mona,” he said. “They were linen pants and tops in a pale grayish green that looked D3 S. ?, F6 g
beautiful with her reddish hair.”; d. H* Y- Z- r
2 n' W& p8 B* ~The Lost Father# \5 V+ l7 V; v
) T: k- v$ p) N, j0 x% a+ h2 P8 u1 QIn the meantime, Mona Simpson had been trying to track down their father, who had* t2 r% q! r! {+ l
wandered off when she was five. Through Ken Auletta and Nick Pileggi, prominent( C4 }2 ~8 U4 a' a7 \7 H
Manhattan writers, she was introduced to a retired New York cop who had formed his own9 v5 b& Q: D0 ]! a5 k/ Z! B
detective agency. “I paid him what little money I had,” Simpson recalled, but the search
+ L; ]( e3 Q* Z4 v5 }7 bwas unsuccessful. Then she met another private eye in California, who was able to find an
7 r1 K2 {5 Z" s# T: e' zaddress for Abdulfattah Jandali in Sacramento through a Department of Motor Vehicles
- D! n. s* \; jsearch. Simpson told her brother and flew out from New York to see the man who was9 B. F# o3 T9 L1 M6 o* u: ?
apparently their father.
& u& Y; \& g4 _* FJobs had no interest in meeting him. “He didn’t treat me well,” he later explained. “I4 K( A* a& ]3 Y. d
don’t hold anything against him—I’m happy to be alive. But what bothers me most is that
9 z- [4 k) u* o3 y! |he didn’t treat Mona well. He abandoned her.” Jobs himself had abandoned his own J; Z* [7 E3 L
illegitimate daughter, Lisa, and now was trying to restore their relationship, but that- O5 Z3 e; ?3 Q' l
complexity did not soften his feelings toward Jandali. Simpson went to Sacramento alone.
/ ?. M6 j( ^4 Q& \“It was very intense,” Simpson recalled. She found her father working in a small* ?! {* k0 v( o! V
restaurant. He seemed happy to see her, yet oddly passive about the entire situation. They5 _( T8 L5 L+ S. F; r
talked for a few hours, and he recounted that, after he left Wisconsin, he had drifted away( G0 a4 o# n3 N
from teaching and gotten into the restaurant business./ b( _7 u/ v, o0 G, ~
Jobs had asked Simpson not to mention him, so she didn’t. But at one point her father% _& @2 e2 [! B1 O& i4 y7 E
casually remarked that he and her mother had had another baby, a boy, before she had been
% ^# b. Y3 `8 N& B& {! jborn. “What happened to him?” she asked. He replied, “We’ll never see that baby again.
9 ^/ X u0 W0 @- oThat baby’s gone.” Simpson recoiled but said nothing.) j% J( J P. ^# Y2 A
An even more astonishing revelation occurred when Jandali was describing the previous8 b2 v8 e1 Z8 m2 H6 M
restaurants that he had run. There had been some nice ones, he insisted, fancier than the
* J* T& i- I1 ]! v5 l- `7 b! `Sacramento joint they were then sitting in. He told her, somewhat emotionally, that he" \ T1 P! m- g$ ~
wished she could have seen him when he was managing a Mediterranean restaurant north' a: u7 a% s7 M( `4 t( ~9 G k; y
of San Jose. “That was a wonderful place,” he said. “All of the successful technology) H1 d. n6 v- Y# J4 X6 B4 V
people used to come there. Even Steve Jobs.” Simpson was stunned. “Oh, yeah, he used to
) x5 j8 s' `/ m5 ?* M4 l# }come in, and he was a sweet guy, and a big tipper,” her father added. Mona was able to9 k- w" C: r% y& ~: \7 i
refrain from blurting out, Steve Jobs is your son!
- L7 Q% H' A0 _% x# v6 p. q5 zWhen the visit was over, she called Jobs surreptitiously from the pay phone at the
# P/ k3 J2 h2 M: n% [restaurant and arranged to meet him at the Espresso Roma café in Berkeley. Adding to the
1 Z% q/ b* ?1 U3 {" n% s9 Hpersonal and family drama, he brought along Lisa, now in grade school, who lived with her / i7 W; q2 {8 [8 W! [# n
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7 x0 ~# n4 t7 v' }' kmother, Chrisann. When they all arrived at the café, it was close to 10 p.m., and Simpson
6 l* l% _: u# Z9 n, gpoured forth the tale. Jobs was understandably astonished when she mentioned the/ Q4 A4 Z% r) c5 Q7 ^
restaurant near San Jose. He could recall being there and even meeting the man who was
$ w3 ?+ n8 P7 T( K$ v7 [8 b( vhis biological father. “It was amazing,” he later said of the revelation. “I had been to that
! v4 T+ J! H8 b Z9 y* q2 S; g \7 V# vrestaurant a few times, and I remember meeting the owner. He was Syrian. Balding. We
1 A1 ^9 _( @- i# v2 T+ yshook hands.”# P; B8 [, E% a8 j; z# v6 y5 d
Nevertheless Jobs still had no desire to see him. “I was a wealthy man by then, and I
3 h# V4 {. |+ _5 V0 }2 Zdidn’t trust him not to try to blackmail me or go to the press about it,” he recalled. “I asked) ]( ?( \) X' @. @9 ~7 _
Mona not to tell him about me.”! ?9 K, \- N' J: M9 K1 j8 R
She never did, but years later Jandali saw his relationship to Jobs mentioned online. (A! E) B4 A4 D7 s0 M4 q
blogger noticed that Simpson had listed Jandali as her father in a reference book and2 H% g! z2 l) V3 |! g
figured out he must be Jobs’s father as well.) By then Jandali was married for a fourth time
|7 k3 e4 i2 @1 R: Xand working as a food and beverage manager at the Boomtown Resort and Casino just west
- y+ f. g$ h0 W0 z! ~of Reno, Nevada. When he brought his new wife, Roscille, to visit Simpson in 2006, he
; s, I* r0 T% E( Y' @: d; h4 b/ Nraised the topic. “What is this thing about Steve Jobs?” he asked. She confirmed the story,
4 X3 F$ `+ e- c. p. w( {/ Gbut added that she thought Jobs had no interest in meeting him. Jandali seemed to accept7 [ w5 g9 p j: u+ J) u
that. “My father is thoughtful and a beautiful storyteller, but he is very, very passive,”& H, d. a! N6 u6 d# w0 G
Simpson said. “He never contacted Steve.”
# w: T2 ~$ z2 M+ h! oSimpson turned her search for Jandali into a basis for her second novel, The Lost Father,
( l, D8 |/ F& |4 [- u5 P5 npublished in 1992. (Jobs convinced Paul Rand, the designer who did the NeXT logo, to3 Y" P+ l" ]- c6 N0 N1 }6 h
design the cover, but according to Simpson, “It was God-awful and we never used it.”) She
2 e4 ^1 v; @, t8 j/ W" i Ealso tracked down various members of the Jandali family, in Homs and in America, and in
+ V* x+ K, z* ?% Z! q/ k6 P0 t- B2011 was writing a novel about her Syrian roots. The Syrian ambassador in Washington" z( Q- I; h# o7 {2 z
threw a dinner for her that included a cousin and his wife who then lived in Florida and had
/ ~% R$ |4 e4 w+ B" cflown up for the occasion.
7 H+ m& d/ \- l( E Y- z, G& k( JSimpson assumed that Jobs would eventually meet Jandali, but as time went on he
( o0 x. W- c3 hshowed even less interest. In 2010, when Jobs and his son, Reed, went to a birthday dinner1 v* k: Z/ z( _4 y
for Simpson at her Los Angeles house, Reed spent some time looking at pictures of his
5 {! L+ z' ?4 t0 Z/ Abiological grandfather, but Jobs ignored them. Nor did he seem to care about his Syrian$ N3 D; V! K' T$ N7 ~" {' R U
heritage. When the Middle East would come up in conversation, the topic did not engage4 F+ D$ ~0 R9 {8 b; I
him or evoke his typical strong opinions, even after Syria was swept up in the 2011 Arab
) @# z$ O, ~# _ JSpring uprisings. “I don’t think anybody really knows what we should be doing over' y0 _' \8 m0 f- ~ M6 j
there,” he said when I asked whether the Obama administration should be intervening more5 { I* c8 F; C& t! N& \
in Egypt, Libya, and Syria. “You’re fucked if you do and you’re fucked if you don’t.”
) ~& P& J% [ H3 t6 WJobs did retain a friendly relationship with his biological mother, Joanne Simpson. Over- V @9 L/ R8 n+ Z- s& a) u( l8 L
the years she and Mona would often spend Christmas at Jobs’s house. The visits could be) {& A" T8 X& {7 L& G
sweet, but also emotionally draining. Joanne would sometimes break into tears, say how
2 m7 S! D: F8 Q% j) Hmuch she had loved him, and apologize for giving him up. It turned out all right, Jobs
) m( c) c; B! c; _would reassure her. As he told her one Christmas, “Don’t worry. I had a great childhood. I
" V, ]& |3 h- z# nturned out okay.”
/ C' q- ]/ t7 { S( N" E* ^$ `8 S7 b1 w' I
Lisa
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b3 L0 F2 S! H W% t. S% M6 n: T8 d& O/ ~5 a
/ N4 e* d' @2 ^% }" p2 ]' m( u; b. z0 [6 n5 ?
$ V4 }) ?2 F/ S- r. o/ D* j0 \9 g, I) j; r
6 ~5 v8 h/ ~: b* O3 P. ]" ?
' D5 J! Y K$ n# r5 i
! t6 R; [9 r& l( ^* A7 \* hLisa Brennan, however, did not have a great childhood. When she was young, her father
, k* `* t: ^ T! }" kalmost never came to see her. “I didn’t want to be a father, so I wasn’t,” Jobs later said, v% ^* s. h# l& {6 d
with only a touch of remorse in his voice. Yet occasionally he felt the tug. One day, when. A1 E8 Y3 |% r7 d. O A
Lisa was three, Jobs was driving near the house he had bought for her and Chrisann, and he. a9 L( a; ~5 W0 h
decided to stop. Lisa didn’t know who he was. He sat on the doorstep, not venturing inside,
I7 T& m3 Q& z0 J" z1 S) Wand talked to Chrisann. The scene was repeated once or twice a year. Jobs would come by; v: p& r3 I# q {
unannounced, talk a little bit about Lisa’s school options or other issues, then drive off in
; Z' u* C8 k1 I: z$ a! ^his Mercedes.
( D$ i1 b; a5 J( X, ~But by the time Lisa turned eight, in 1986, the visits were occurring more frequently.- i' e2 W g' c' w& h
Jobs was no longer immersed in the grueling push to create the Macintosh or in the. u4 @% U. s1 |6 b
subsequent power struggles with Sculley. He was at NeXT, which was calmer, friendlier,
7 D, i( [2 M# u8 P4 O8 E3 wand headquartered in Palo Alto, near where Chrisann and Lisa lived. In addition, by the
8 @4 m$ V2 ? O: G! V, I& j# V0 ftime she was in third grade, it was clear that Lisa was a smart and artistic kid, who had a) P' H2 u# f
already been singled out by her teachers for her writing ability. She was spunky and high-
* o1 u+ D5 B2 d5 xspirited and had a little of her father’s defiant attitude. She also looked a bit like him, with% `5 R6 X9 z9 X" ]! I1 C
arched eyebrows and a faintly Middle Eastern angularity. One day, to the surprise of his0 M9 u" D6 H+ G" R; q1 Y) t% \0 _! S9 j
colleagues, he brought her by the office. As she turned cartwheels in the corridor, she
" ?, T% A. @6 W6 R1 X2 ksquealed, “Look at me!”
# [# @+ U3 C8 Q% oAvie Tevanian, a lanky and gregarious engineer at NeXT who had become Jobs’s friend,! k9 }- `" K+ L2 Z. X8 z
remembers that every now and then, when they were going out to dinner, they would stop8 ?. A$ Y' a" Q |5 _, A
by Chrisann’s house to pick up Lisa. “He was very sweet to her,” Tevanian recalled. “He6 L" g" u" C# k3 T
was a vegetarian, and so was Chrisann, but she wasn’t. He was fine with that. He suggested8 e2 `# f4 T+ U$ ~* T; w
she order chicken, and she did.”* r4 l6 F+ }1 c( U& k
Eating chicken became her little indulgence as she shuttled between two parents who
" p+ w' Y# O8 O8 wwere vegetarians with a spiritual regard for natural foods. “We bought our groceries—our5 G0 _( p- p8 `# c! T8 f
puntarella, quinoa, celeriac, carob-covered nuts—in yeasty-smelling stores where the' N; `) d. a( y- p, R
women didn’t dye their hair,” she later wrote about her time with her mother. “But we" J: D# T; ~# r7 k5 C* U
sometimes tasted foreign treats. A few times we bought a hot, seasoned chicken from a2 l; h& Y% v8 o7 u* A8 [4 g. p
gourmet shop with rows and rows of chickens turning on spits, and ate it in the car from the& X4 Y; `. T5 |3 _$ j; N
foil-lined paper bag with our fingers.” Her father, whose dietary fixations came in fanatic4 w! L x. K& i u
waves, was more fastidious about what he ate. She watched him spit out a mouthful of soup4 P; w, q: H1 z" Z; o( @
one day after learning that it contained butter. After loosening up a bit while at Apple, he
$ | z8 `# Q3 z. j" W- |was back to being a strict vegan. Even at a young age Lisa began to realize his diet
1 Q1 J+ L6 t& oobsessions reflected a life philosophy, one in which asceticism and minimalism could% L9 d# q/ F: D3 {9 y* Z, q
heighten subsequent sensations. “He believed that great harvests came from arid sources,( c% |9 `% i( e8 P4 a; i
pleasure from restraint,” she noted. “He knew the equations that most people didn’t know:
9 i. P4 j1 ]# @+ X8 ~7 fThings led to their opposites.”& l9 f1 q" ^5 y3 y! E, Z
In a similar way, the absence and coldness of her father made his occasional moments of
1 F% ?; r) Q9 Qwarmth so much more intensely gratifying. “I didn’t live with him, but he would stop by8 V, x1 ]5 g/ Y3 G
our house some days, a deity among us for a few tingling moments or hours,” she recalled.
+ Y! W. \3 n+ c* p. wLisa soon became interesting enough that he would take walks with her. He would also go) d l6 {+ T: [- I6 t& L
rollerblading with her on the quiet streets of old Palo Alto, often stopping at the houses of# A9 c, x/ C- O" n4 O
Joanna Hoffman and Andy Hertzfeld. The first time he brought her around to see Hoffman,
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$ A( A) a" ?# H, [/ F4 @7 z: s5 T# T2 J' k9 w
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; U, T, t. U2 A4 m
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y1 F. h$ ]" u7 P0 g
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he just knocked on the door and announced, “This is Lisa.” Hoffman knew right away. “It% k$ i1 N, Q8 B5 Q) Q! W b' ]
was obvious she was his daughter,” she told me. “Nobody has that jaw. It’s a signature+ @' T) ~( u* O0 w- f0 d
jaw.” Hoffman, who suffered from not knowing her own divorced father until she was ten,
0 @1 f `$ w9 d' \: Iencouraged Jobs to be a better father. He followed her advice, and later thanked her for it.
, m1 m7 D5 e8 i/ J; m7 p( K6 ~Once he took Lisa on a business trip to Tokyo, and they stayed at the sleek and
: L2 U6 s$ h5 v9 abusinesslike Okura Hotel. At the elegant downstairs sushi bar, Jobs ordered large trays of
+ U3 t" ^+ T/ o7 r' E3 F3 v. R8 `3 s) ~unagi sushi, a dish he loved so much that he allowed the warm cooked eel to pass muster as
: g# H! [7 N) l! s" e$ avegetarian. The pieces were coated with fine salt or a thin sweet sauce, and Lisa
& _, z$ q; }& W0 L9 a6 zremembered later how they dissolved in her mouth. So, too, did the distance between them.
8 x: b5 [( E& B6 n [4 J3 oAs she later wrote, “It was the first time I’d felt, with him, so relaxed and content, over
0 C6 @$ A8 G. G7 O* X i' ~those trays of meat; the excess, the permission and warmth after the cold salads, meant a
3 r8 t$ D. J, t! Wonce inaccessible space had opened. He was less rigid with himself, even human under the7 d! _3 G$ [& s2 p5 G( \$ h% P( b
great ceilings with the little chairs, with the meat, and me.”* I) P+ b# F$ Z: S2 g) y
But it was not always sweetness and light. Jobs was as mercurial with Lisa as he was
, j D/ a# K0 Vwith almost everyone, cycling between embrace and abandonment. On one visit he would1 E. @# J1 W/ D/ H+ B- |
be playful; on the next he would be cold; often he was not there at all. “She was always
; y+ E" Y0 L3 i$ I6 a0 Punsure of their relationship,” according to Hertzfeld. “I went to a birthday party of hers,
/ H) M8 G! X. m) G/ E3 f8 x0 q/ t" nand Steve was supposed to come, and he was very, very, late. She got extremely anxious2 ?3 ]6 ]* Y2 U5 S4 F
and disappointed. But when he finally did come, she totally lit up.”
; b: D* y) s. Z- Z8 ^Lisa learned to be temperamental in return. Over the years their relationship would be a
: A9 w1 I' K$ T+ n5 Z wroller coaster, with each of the low points elongated by their shared stubbornness. After a
, v$ x1 Z: ]1 [- w% Sfalling-out, they could go for months not speaking to each other. Neither one was good at
* B. n8 w4 q) S, a+ ]' a, ereaching out, apologizing, or making the effort to heal, even when he was wrestling with
$ I' N7 ~2 q. h& R1 z% p3 mrepeated health problems. One day in the fall of 2010 he was wistfully going through a box
( f) A. q# A& Z' Q* V$ \7 Yof old snapshots with me, and paused over one that showed him visiting Lisa when she was
8 b3 E4 j+ l o$ L8 [young. “I probably didn’t go over there enough,” he said. Since he had not spoken to her all& G2 K6 K+ p6 E- L3 X
that year, I asked if he might want to reach out to her with a call or email. He looked at me
+ D3 @7 \8 j3 C, U4 lblankly for a moment, then went back to riffling through other old photographs.
/ m/ R1 q0 c& c8 ]3 P; j
5 d0 i) U5 ? b! C7 rThe Romantic
5 e6 x; Y# Z4 H3 m/ L# H6 c6 J. ?0 P) ^0 m" G1 b; x0 M1 e1 d
When it came to women, Jobs could be deeply romantic. He tended to fall in love8 t; ?1 |8 m0 H# ^' B2 ^
dramatically, share with friends every up and down of a relationship, and pine in public" f R& R: _4 c2 R+ L. H! A; h
whenever he was away from his current girlfriend. In the summer of 1983 he went to a7 E% I. S% `" J/ \
small dinner party in Silicon Valley with Joan Baez and sat next to an undergraduate at the9 z2 B: A- `2 J
University of Pennsylvania named Jennifer Egan, who was not quite sure who he was. By, U6 i0 a7 j3 d( R6 |% X
then he and Baez had realized that they weren’t destined to be forever young together, and0 ]9 {) O2 C5 W
Jobs found himself fascinated by Egan, who was working on a San Francisco weekly% E- i/ |0 W8 Y4 p2 t
during her summer vacation. He tracked her down, gave her a call, and took her to Café
% N, f2 ]/ w6 hJacqueline, a little bistro near Telegraph Hill that specialized in vegetarian soufflés.
& S- @6 R" T" N1 W" f. f6 aThey dated for a year, and Jobs often flew east to visit her. At a Boston Macworld event,+ O) S( ~7 p; A+ d8 t
he told a large gathering how much in love he was and thus needed to rush out to catch a
, F9 a" U) _/ _1 fplane for Philadelphia to see his girlfriend. The audience was enchanted. When he was 4 K5 @5 F! }% F/ a
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! }6 s' c* g9 @' h) lvisiting New York, she would take the train up to stay with him at the Carlyle or at Jay
0 d3 R& f2 P' M8 Z4 H0 g( N2 yChiat’s Upper East Side apartment, and they would eat at Café Luxembourg, visit
; K, T. D; N( Q& @(repeatedly) the apartment in the San Remo he was planning to remodel, and go to movies
- P" w4 X: R- b4 G4 U; ]6 I5 zor (once at least) the opera.
8 w; f7 x! R! c$ g$ |. C KHe and Egan also spoke for hours on the phone many nights. One topic they wrestled* ^) S8 B- f( o0 i
with was his belief, which came from his Buddhist studies, that it was important to avoid
; Y d5 u2 R* \% D Lattachment to material objects. Our consumer desires are unhealthy, he told her, and to
" S$ q b4 I& X6 n( p$ C0 V% }* [attain enlightenment you need to develop a life of nonattachment and non-materialism. He
# w) ^, V9 E! \# Qeven sent her a tape of Kobun Chino, his Zen teacher, lecturing about the problems caused3 J2 g* I6 q, h6 Y. X& P) G% d9 e
by craving and obtaining things. Egan pushed back. Wasn’t he defying that philosophy, she2 g$ U6 B2 \! R7 c* z- `+ t
asked, by making computers and other products that people coveted? “He was irritated by
5 y+ _8 U% K3 |. ~" L# t4 r7 fthe dichotomy, and we had exuberant debates about it,” Egan recalled." \+ }3 w v6 `8 P8 Q; h1 _* E
In the end Jobs’s pride in the objects he made overcame his sensibility that people should
- T- K9 B& H3 u5 oeschew being attached to such possessions. When the Macintosh came out in January 1984,4 ?5 t" T+ m& [$ C
Egan was staying at her mother’s apartment in San Francisco during her winter break from
' b$ H9 c4 U' \0 I5 o9 G) w8 T9 X1 MPenn. Her mother’s dinner guests were astonished one night when Steve Jobs—suddenly0 ~2 o4 V Z8 p; T; P
very famous—appeared at the door carrying a freshly boxed Macintosh and proceeded to; H0 c# K/ q+ A1 Y+ }: l2 c
Egan’s bedroom to set it up.
5 |7 L, t8 Y: {8 {- o' RJobs told Egan, as he had a few other friends, about his premonition that he would not
. {: c0 A. n5 @4 B" q. w1 |live a long life. That was why he was driven and impatient, he confided. “He felt a sense of
( M9 G. `4 b. ]urgency about all he wanted to get done,” Egan later said. Their relationship tapered off by
1 o9 ~3 U; Y" n6 L7 Z/ uthe fall of 1984, when Egan made it clear that she was still far too young to think of getting
: i# a0 V. p0 n" Cmarried.
) O& K7 p* C# r( t7 E: F" d* P+ S4 A( K: F( R! Z
Shortly after that, just as the turmoil with Sculley was beginning to build at Apple in early
: o7 w. a( P- |, I1985, Jobs was heading to a meeting when he stopped at the office of a guy who was' f4 o G: G; F3 e t1 A; e9 J2 O5 J
working with the Apple Foundation, which helped get computers to nonprofit# T8 U1 N. t( k I/ L0 R$ _
organizations. Sitting in his office was a lithe, very blond woman who combined a hippie) p8 g( x' j2 P+ N" J
aura of natural purity with the solid sensibilities of a computer consultant. Her name was
2 m# L; n+ c+ @# }Tina Redse. “She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen,” Jobs recalled.
5 j2 n2 Q2 p. I3 v6 b$ e: I. n+ ?- I& nHe called her the next day and asked her to dinner. She said no, that she was living with) |& \7 u. R1 F
a boyfriend. A few days later he took her on a walk to a nearby park and again asked her ?7 y' w1 p/ H
out, and this time she told her boyfriend that she wanted to go. She was very honest and; A1 a2 o1 } W
open. After dinner she started to cry because she knew her life was about to be disrupted.9 ]0 i( _, U, k9 ?/ u# y2 h$ _
And it was. Within a few months she had moved into the unfurnished mansion in# D9 f7 t8 b$ t$ }8 u E
Woodside. “She was the first person I was truly in love with,” Jobs later said. “We had a
0 s5 {0 i. S: \7 c3 x3 a Q Pvery deep connection. I don’t know that anyone will ever understand me better than she
+ d5 p W, N+ _! ~& d' e# `4 Pdid.”
) K) ^; Y* _. G3 `Redse came from a troubled family, and Jobs shared with her his own pain about being" W) L' g L2 P* N0 j
put up for adoption. “We were both wounded from our childhood,” Redse recalled. “He
+ {& R2 \% H$ w; [* M4 T1 M! @& Asaid to me that we were misfits, which is why we belonged together.” They were physically
1 @+ R3 E3 A1 Opassionate and prone to public displays of affection; their make-out sessions in the NeXT
8 B1 Y( j+ O- r; ^lobby are well remembered by employees. So too were their fights, which occurred at . T& n1 M; {& k( Z
9 ~+ }- Y' q& Z3 \
& S& E" ^5 O0 E- U `) T( T; }, h: p0 o' i# ?* E" v: v% w
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movie theaters and in front of visitors to Woodside. Yet he constantly praised her purity and
, q6 Z9 p9 F' |$ j5 W) znaturalness. As the well-grounded Joanna Hoffman pointed out when discussing Jobs’s
- {8 d& K; ?# ~* j& Rinfatuation with the otherworldly Redse, “Steve had a tendency to look at vulnerabilities. G* p5 s* X5 L$ e9 N; x
and neuroses and turn them into spiritual attributes.”
8 n& x g% ^1 P {+ @6 O; sWhen he was being eased out at Apple in 1985, Redse traveled with him in Europe," |9 A. L& W1 e ~
where he was salving his wounds. Standing on a bridge over the Seine one evening, they& I8 u& J7 x. Z8 T
bandied about the idea, more romantic than serious, of just staying in France, maybe6 z' C/ g1 v8 y0 n9 B( z& `
settling down, perhaps indefinitely. Redse was eager, but Jobs didn’t want to. He was
- c; N7 `* ~, P$ N/ _burned but still ambitious. “I am a reflection of what I do,” he told her. She recalled their
0 H. \* F" c1 tParis moment in a poignant email she sent to him twenty-five years later, after they had1 ?0 W/ _9 S5 O% u
gone their separate ways but retained their spiritual connection:0 R a& Q3 S l# V4 {0 k
We were on a bridge in Paris in the summer of 1985. It was overcast. We leaned against
& I. E# N2 M: `4 ?the smooth stone rail and stared at the green water rolling on below. Your world had
+ J# z* G7 ~6 b! u1 h pcleaved and then it paused, waiting to rearrange itself around whatever you chose next. I, `. N$ m- R+ h9 Z
wanted to run away from what had come before. I tried to convince you to begin a new life
+ D3 p) Q2 @5 y: S; h, Ywith me in Paris, to shed our former selves and let something else course through us. I
7 Y* s+ p) R# r4 e: B) B0 |! `8 ^wanted us to crawl through that black chasm of your broken world and emerge, anonymous
3 E/ N$ _9 U. Z4 i5 Aand new, in simple lives where I could cook you simple dinners and we could be together
+ X5 m* s! J( O; gevery day, like children playing a sweet game with no purpose save the game itself. I like to' l' P$ l, l1 U! }+ d' V7 Z: t
think you considered it before you laughed and said “What could I do? I’ve made myself
2 v/ f! M, ]2 q" n: V$ N' ]7 c; xunemployable.” I like to think that in that moment’s hesitation before our bold futures# ~) X6 [% o _4 P
reclaimed us, we lived that simple life together all the way into our peaceful old ages, with; R) A+ R! n& I- r
a brood of grandchildren around us on a farm in the south of France, quietly going about+ {# o6 J+ O D) M/ D) H* Q) `+ \
our days, warm and complete like loaves of fresh bread, our small world filled with the. C0 B3 O6 U, c" v8 A+ C; k
aroma of patience and familiarity.4 Q( P4 A8 F/ r* x! x
- s: C$ J4 _* d# [
' J5 B# e. R# O/ M; @# l: P0 c/ j! g# j% Y2 h+ X1 _" p$ @1 l. R
The relationship lurched up and down for five years. Redse hated living in his sparsely) B) n' v; D1 |4 p: R1 w
furnished Woodside house. Jobs had hired a hip young couple, who had once worked at7 ]/ q" |, L9 h0 m* N! g5 A
Chez Panisse, as housekeepers and vegetarian cooks, and they made her feel like an5 ]8 u& Z$ e0 a9 c, D
interloper. She would occasionally move out to an apartment of her own in Palo Alto,
" D( c1 {0 E% j% Mespecially after one of her torrential arguments with Jobs. “Neglect is a form of abuse,” she
F P0 ~- w- [( donce scrawled on the wall of the hallway to their bedroom. She was entranced by him, but/ k& e7 a+ l! N2 t( r, o+ e3 A
she was also baffled by how uncaring he could be. She would later recall how incredibly. y: s+ f+ ` D
painful it was to be in love with someone so self-centered. Caring deeply about someone& N* t" s! Z9 ^+ A
who seemed incapable of caring was a particular kind of hell that she wouldn’t wish on
( S$ }9 g+ z2 U6 manyone, she said.+ n' `6 A. i0 z/ d0 X
They were different in so many ways. “On the spectrum of cruel to kind, they are close
. E& @) U6 |' C8 sto the opposite poles,” Hertzfeld later said. Redse’s kindness was manifest in ways large2 d) w+ `/ F$ X
and small; she always gave money to street people, she volunteered to help those who (like
4 H" I- d1 |5 T: g7 g. Uher father) were afflicted with mental illness, and she took care to make Lisa and even
# N! C8 x% C7 h$ M7 h1 i& iChrisann feel comfortable with her. More than anyone, she helped persuade Jobs to spend
! T2 X# I( ]' |more time with Lisa. But she lacked Jobs’s ambition and drive. The ethereal quality that
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H+ q' i# K& S: L/ q' i* w
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' R! I" p u3 k: Lmade her seem so spiritual to Jobs also made it hard for them to stay on the same2 V4 R( ^6 U' N& C. `2 Z8 j
wavelength. “Their relationship was incredibly tempestuous,” said Hertzfeld. “Because of
# U$ Q/ G# U7 L, L- N1 S4 A$ xboth of their characters, they would have lots and lots of fights.”2 r- l8 i& k) r2 j; e
They also had a basic philosophical difference about whether aesthetic tastes were
3 h1 I' ]. D3 A/ mfundamentally individual, as Redse believed, or universal and could be taught, as Jobs8 l+ f- c2 [' Y7 A; R; g
believed. She accused him of being too influenced by the Bauhaus movement. “Steve# n, Z/ V0 a* [
believed it was our job to teach people aesthetics, to teach people what they should like,”
* u% {/ X5 d M' }she recalled. “I don’t share that perspective. I believe when we listen deeply, both within
% U/ H A/ j& Eourselves and to each other, we are able to allow what’s innate and true to emerge.”' J8 ? O1 f3 J8 ?/ q3 v
When they were together for a long stretch, things did not work out well. But when they
b9 V' _4 k4 Swere apart, Jobs would pine for her. Finally, in the summer of 1989, he asked her to marry
, C( ]" A1 Z( R5 x! ^% d! C* shim. She couldn’t do it. It would drive her crazy, she told friends. She had grown up in a1 \6 ]) m9 X% I! U5 D# e% n
volatile household, and her relationship with Jobs bore too many similarities to that9 E4 H3 x' Y9 H, B& t8 g9 k
environment. They were opposites who attracted, she said, but the combination was too
q! G. ^: R4 tcombustible. “I could not have been a good wife to ‘Steve Jobs,’ the icon,” she later4 c m9 [5 j o
explained. “I would have sucked at it on many levels. In our personal interactions, I" q: i K: F3 _! M* G1 D4 R1 E
couldn’t abide his unkindness. I didn’t want to hurt him, yet I didn’t want to stand by and
& c( j. p: r" R& Iwatch him hurt other people either. It was painful and exhausting.”# O @: X8 S% W$ n
After they broke up, Redse helped found OpenMind, a mental health resource network in
' `0 n, j8 g% p! L, _California. She happened to read in a psychiatric manual about Narcissistic Personality4 Z1 G z& o+ O* x! l
Disorder and decided that Jobs perfectly met the criteria. “It fits so well and explained so* b# D& z" `5 d3 g, \. Q% D
much of what we had struggled with, that I realized expecting him to be nicer or less self-& a0 U7 L* T3 G% p; B- t8 g
centered was like expecting a blind man to see,” she said. “It also explained some of the0 X, e, E5 E; r: ]
choices he’d made about his daughter Lisa at that time. I think the issue is empathy—the
: h+ d/ B7 X$ T/ C" r' \7 p4 Dcapacity for empathy is lacking.”4 w+ p# N2 n( u9 x
Redse later married, had two children, and then divorced. Every now and then Jobs: q# x; M6 r4 } ~8 d& s8 B0 L
would openly pine for her, even after he was happily married. And when he began his battle. {( K& z" v) t6 h8 x; n
with cancer, she got in touch again to give support. She became very emotional whenever
* f, M& x) I2 p; [3 T9 j7 Pshe recalled their relationship. “Though our values clashed and made it impossible for us to/ ~! z/ w- ] [
have the relationship we once hoped for,” she told me, “the care and love I felt for him
! H# h. b# U1 u/ N) Vdecades ago has continued.” Similarly, Jobs suddenly started to cry one afternoon as he sat4 E5 ^- v) A* G+ t* c; t' X7 r6 p% O
in his living room reminiscing about her. “She was one of the purest people I’ve ever
6 X& E2 z, ^! k9 j5 x+ @# nknown,” he said, tears rolling down his cheeks. “There was something spiritual about her
: A* e' f4 i! L- ?and spiritual about the connection we had.” He said he always regretted that they could not! T' {! j4 d0 E# {9 n( T( K
make it work, and he knew that she had such regrets as well. But it was not meant to be. On
: X# k; k! e/ ithat they both agreed.
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6 d# c, t/ Q' k2 T0 W# lCHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
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FAMILY MAN9 r( a" I# H: U' C
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* C7 R4 T5 L' _; l V" uAt Home with the Jobs Clan
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With Laurene Powell, 19916 v' V% {) L7 H, F) F, n Y
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& o- _* @0 J& qLaurene Powell. K" O6 I% U! X' g" O! [
- y/ R) m) d* X7 A# {By this point, based on his dating history, a matchmaker could have put together a3 w* O3 i- m F5 w [0 V, Q D
composite sketch of the woman who would be right for Jobs. Smart, yet unpretentious., \5 h' D" V$ p
Tough enough to stand up to him, yet Zen-like enough to rise above turmoil. Well-educated
' Y+ @# u: f0 r# Xand independent, yet ready to make accommodations for him and a family. Down-to-earth,
0 M- {# L9 K1 K8 P* _but with a touch of the ethereal. Savvy enough to know how to manage him, but secure
/ s+ m& \' _3 Q1 j, C, ?# Nenough to not always need to. And it wouldn’t hurt to be a beautiful, lanky blonde with an
' @ K% }/ [; \, n8 xeasygoing sense of humor who liked organic vegetarian food. In October 1989, after his. H8 c; d% }: f2 Y3 I( x" T' c
split with Tina Redse, just such a woman walked into his life.
" r$ @7 P. L: U' xMore specifically, just such a woman walked into his classroom. Jobs had agreed to give" K2 w: \, m* \% q' u" B1 ?1 M" h# u
one of the “View from the Top” lectures at the Stanford Business School one Thursday; `, t2 D* A" F6 g
evening. Laurene Powell was a new graduate student at the business school, and a guy in , d4 p0 x1 A! P8 K7 ?
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her class talked her into going to the lecture. They arrived late and all the seats were taken,& v) o7 A* h1 \& `9 j
so they sat in the aisle. When an usher told them they had to move, Powell took her friend+ s- x4 j: k; r6 C" C. B$ [
down to the front row and commandeered two of the reserved seats there. Jobs was led to
7 i- [2 o) O3 O' V/ I+ z; o0 C Z1 l3 gthe one next to her when he arrived. “I looked to my right, and there was a beautiful girl
( P y5 {7 W2 K3 l# R/ F. bthere, so we started chatting while I was waiting to be introduced,” Jobs recalled. They6 ]5 u0 i# ]) A. G w9 l3 D. ?2 L
bantered a bit, and Laurene joked that she was sitting there because she had won a raffle,; @) J- L; G, D. ?2 D! u
and the prize was that he got to take her to dinner. “He was so adorable,” she later said.
8 d" ~7 x" Z# V- r) R0 W bAfter the speech Jobs hung around on the edge of the stage chatting with students. He
- C) f$ n+ G5 a+ h J I; `watched Powell leave, then come back and stand at the edge of the crowd, then leave again./ D# [" c& l) p$ ?0 {
He bolted out after her, brushing past the dean, who was trying to grab him for a
) i- t; a8 V" @, Kconversation. After catching up with her in the parking lot, he said, “Excuse me, wasn’t
% N- r8 _/ |+ F2 c, jthere something about a raffle you won, that I’m supposed to take you to dinner?” She
8 G- T4 B r; t% k: O5 {. u! U! M4 ]laughed. “How about Saturday?” he asked. She agreed and wrote down her number. Jobs
E. C4 g/ L7 Q# Q, bheaded to his car to drive up to the Thomas Fogarty winery in the Santa Cruz mountains
; ]5 u. d' ]) Z z9 k5 S) qabove Woodside, where the NeXT education sales group was holding a dinner. But he
, u; A$ g% x6 @. D+ t* k/ ^suddenly stopped and turned around. “I thought, wow, I’d rather have dinner with her than
. z$ ^' l: g& p1 Z5 i" Bthe education group, so I ran back to her car and said ‘How about dinner tonight?’” She
S) {7 j- X7 l! }( Q! Q: E, `said yes. It was a beautiful fall evening, and they walked into Palo Alto to a funky
9 }8 K; f- l. A2 Svegetarian restaurant, St. Michael’s Alley, and ended up staying there for four hours.! E; {: j A5 D6 R
“We’ve been together ever since,” he said.
# T# `. B; W" i( g: `- cAvie Tevanian was sitting at the winery restaurant waiting with the rest of the NeXT) n. F8 W' l3 S7 O8 J0 N1 U. M4 u. Z1 E
education group. “Steve was sometimes unreliable, but when I talked to him I realized that8 o7 k. k$ S" G+ C% h
something special had come up,” he said. As soon as Powell got home, after midnight, she& `' h- X1 w" m
called her close friend Kathryn (Kat) Smith, who was at Berkeley, and left a message on8 [8 N4 y- e; _5 e7 S e
her machine. “You will not believe what just happened to me!” it said. “You will not9 Q: W9 e0 {5 z* ~- B: r
believe who I met!” Smith called back the next morning and heard the tale. “We had known9 Z" a0 s3 c# G- L
about Steve, and he was a person of interest to us, because we were business students,” she" Q: G3 w F/ Y5 E6 [
recalled.
3 x- j. D) f% Q% }6 h+ f' EAndy Hertzfeld and a few others later speculated that Powell had been scheming to meet$ ]$ S8 [( T+ L
Jobs. “Laurene is nice, but she can be calculating, and I think she targeted him from the3 n8 u/ a. X8 t: l" f% i
beginning,” Hertzfeld said. “Her college roommate told me that Laurene had magazine
& r; D* r6 l6 h' D1 [covers of Steve and vowed she was going to meet him. If it’s true that Steve was* q( }6 S4 h8 a/ t4 C
manipulated, there is a fair amount of irony there.” But Powell later insisted that this wasn’t: z* x6 }6 a1 n5 l
the case. She went only because her friend wanted to go, and she was slightly confused as
; b2 T2 |. G+ t/ rto who they were going to see. “I knew that Steve Jobs was the speaker, but the face I: C9 K; D( H! C% e9 {
thought of was that of Bill Gates,” she recalled. “I had them mixed up. This was 1989. He8 a3 H; {: H' Y, D* [
was working at NeXT, and he was not that big of a deal to me. I wasn’t that enthused, but$ P' p) W8 ^5 I2 b
my friend was, so we went.”3 ]4 z' \' v9 P: q6 j [7 J
“There were only two women in my life that I was truly in love with, Tina and Laurene,”
- h3 }/ r+ F5 C# \/ L# j: WJobs later said. “I thought I was in love with Joan Baez, but I really just liked her a lot. It* R/ r* ]& F4 C# L# L" { g
was just Tina and then Laurene.” / E' h9 [/ N+ L9 e! n4 g1 q
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Laurene Powell had been born in New Jersey in 1963 and learned to be self-sufficient at an
$ } f+ o- B! w J- s7 |" p2 iearly age. Her father was a Marine Corps pilot who died a hero in a crash in Santa Ana,
8 D7 C% Q6 [( R% a& ZCalifornia; he had been leading a crippled plane in for a landing, and when it hit his plane: v1 Z% z9 a5 s5 ~# q
he kept flying to avoid a residential area rather than ejecting in time to save his life. Her
* d+ b g) ~1 G$ v" ^3 xmother’s second marriage turned out to be a horrible situation, but she felt she couldn’t
' ?0 R# X$ k4 w# g5 l' }; k3 lleave because she had no means to support her large family. For ten years Laurene and her% t0 b$ m! e+ [/ s
three brothers had to suffer in a tense household, keeping a good demeanor while Y% [0 u* ^4 m7 M* \
compartmentalizing problems. She did well. “The lesson I learned was clear, that I always
3 J. `3 p+ y4 c' e4 L$ Y2 Bwanted to be self-sufficient,” she said. “I took pride in that. My relationship with money is
' A4 f$ P5 m( ~6 vthat it’s a tool to be self-sufficient, but it’s not something that is part of who I am.”7 H- r% V+ W- B9 T* H
After graduating from the University of Pennsylvania, she worked at Goldman Sachs as
2 ~% T5 I5 m5 F$ _) L7 R% Xa fixed income trading strategist, dealing with enormous sums of money that she traded for# H8 ]: `8 a! P- b6 \) p: B+ a
the house account. Jon Corzine, her boss, tried to get her to stay at Goldman, but instead
m: Z3 |' X* A. r- J; o" Tshe decided the work was unedifying. “You could be really successful,” she said, “but
. q8 y/ ?, j2 f* eyou’re just contributing to capital formation.” So after three years she quit and went to
: i6 L$ e. _2 I {, H6 b9 WFlorence, Italy, living there for eight months before enrolling in Stanford Business School.
4 Q; \" V/ p0 rAfter their Thursday night dinner, she invited Jobs over to her Palo Alto apartment on9 U4 [, s E, u9 b1 F1 a
Saturday. Kat Smith drove down from Berkeley and pretended to be her roommate so she
( I! |' C0 R/ G% }5 S' ?6 m( @1 Jcould meet him as well. Their relationship became very passionate. “They would kiss and, p: P/ z4 Q$ H1 W" K2 H3 R
make out,” Smith said. “He was enraptured with her. He would call me on the phone and
* ~9 S! g/ G4 Z. X6 R, q2 |* Iask, ‘What do you think, does she like me?’ Here I am in this bizarre position of having this
4 v5 L3 a6 v# G& H& g! a1 o% h3 Liconic person call me.”
1 X% K K! D, u9 y3 }9 J- b+ G0 zThat New Year’s Eve of 1989 the three went to Chez Panisse, the famed Alice Waters) i3 s% i& ~. I7 @
restaurant in Berkeley, along with Lisa, then eleven. Something happened at the dinner that
- Q" W1 }: w0 Kcaused Jobs and Powell to start arguing. They left separately, and Powell ended up
$ s, T7 N' A" N% k- n( B8 H+ s& Lspending the night at Kat Smith’s apartment. At nine the next morning there was a knock at p- Q7 H: T! ]7 a
the door, and Smith opened it to find Jobs, standing in the drizzle holding some
. X% I5 p. O) g0 x4 R2 T2 q: owildflowers he had picked. “May I come in and see Laurene?” he said. She was still asleep,: c7 ~5 I7 ?5 ^- h; U3 q! R: z! v
and he walked into the bedroom. A couple of hours went by, while Smith waited in the2 R: a1 e$ u/ `3 c! Q# R: u
living room, unable to go in and get her clothes. Finally, she put a coat on over her
# S7 v$ U7 ~5 Z! R1 u, fnightgown and went to Peet’s Coffee to pick up some food. Jobs did not emerge until after% ^+ N5 `8 S% L
noon. “Kat, can you come here for a minute?” he asked. They all gathered in the bedroom.4 C5 D% E) K9 h9 b; B
“As you know, Laurene’s father passed away, and Laurene’s mother isn’t here, and since7 v7 _, ]' v ^
you’re her best friend, I’m going to ask you the question,” he said. “I’d like to marry- Z1 H5 Q6 d% C( b. y; a
Laurene. Will you give your blessing?” ]8 ~4 ^6 U" O$ R9 m* j
Smith clambered onto the bed and thought about it. “Is this okay with you?” she asked
1 B* P! e+ q/ E0 Q- IPowell. When she nodded yes, Smith announced, “Well, there’s your answer.”
' l! @ ?$ E9 v3 o v7 P2 U- H/ zIt was not, however, a definitive answer. Jobs had a way of focusing on something with
. x8 D) i" _9 R! m3 iinsane intensity for a while and then, abruptly, turning away his gaze. At work, he would1 {$ j6 {" k; L% @
focus on what he wanted to, when he wanted to, and on other matters he would be
( _( H! l; Y$ _/ u) h1 Punresponsive, no matter how hard people tried to get him to engage. In his personal life, he
- M3 n, U7 c' S, W! `was the same way. At times he and Powell would indulge in public displays of affection
M/ j) H% D, \. r' G: O! v0 pthat were so intense they embarrassed everyone in their presence, including Kat Smith and
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+ J% a) }8 T- R, ~% PPowell’s mother. In the mornings at his Woodside mansion, he would wake Powell up by2 L6 R$ ]! c! R& E
blasting the Fine Young Cannibals’ “She Drives Me Crazy” on his tape deck. Yet at other
) X* T1 C$ J# q0 q; |times he would ignore her. “Steve would fluctuate between intense focus, where she was
* F# q1 t+ i U nthe center of the universe, to being coldly distant and focused on work,” said Smith. “He
4 v3 k1 m7 Q+ j& o! P4 Bhad the power to focus like a laser beam, and when it came across you, you basked in the3 Z" ?' [% I5 R3 f
light of his attention. When it moved to another point of focus, it was very, very dark for% z' Z0 a9 I; q) Q L" ]& Q) {- W. `
you. It was very confusing to Laurene.”6 B' r2 b+ T& A- Q, D9 n
Once she had accepted his marriage proposal on the first day of 1990, he didn’t mention
- ^. ]4 O. Q9 s) Iit again for several months. Finally, Smith confronted him while they were sitting on the
3 j. Z2 \2 ?7 u% J( medge of a sandbox in Palo Alto. What was going on? Jobs replied that he needed to feel sure- i4 _- {# ?, m! ]* ?, y5 C b
that Powell could handle the life he lived and the type of person he was. In September she
5 G' O# h1 ~& qbecame fed up with waiting and moved out. The following month, he gave her a diamond
1 l2 g8 c" w. w, a8 X% ]engagement ring, and she moved back in.
0 ~# X+ E. Q! i2 J# i+ kIn December Jobs took Powell to his favorite vacation spot, Kona Village in Hawaii. He* q! ]4 Q3 }7 ?
had started going there nine years earlier when, stressed out at Apple, he had asked his
, ^3 b' f# [- y- a4 ^7 ]assistant to pick out a place for him to escape. At first glance, he didn’t like the cluster of
+ s6 Y# X6 }' h+ m" t6 r) `sparse thatched-roof bungalows nestled on a beach on the big island of Hawaii. It was a
# M/ v/ d; @+ mfamily resort, with communal eating. But within hours he had begun to view it as paradise." n( c, d. K9 @ h
There was a simplicity and spare beauty that moved him, and he returned whenever he
) {1 m$ c) i7 g/ Z! A/ Tcould. He especially enjoyed being there that December with Powell. Their love had6 u7 ~" ~4 f+ R( Q, C
matured. The night before Christmas he again declared, even more formally, that he wanted7 g) {0 C6 K& m& A8 ?
to marry her. Soon another factor would drive that decision. While in Hawaii, Powell got
0 Q& @' R# k, ] V6 Hpregnant. “We know exactly where it happened,” Jobs later said with a laugh.( D1 _7 \% m0 O+ _2 S; x I
& L2 @7 Z* `8 V8 y3 X' c* t' ]8 oThe Wedding, March 18, 1991# c$ t0 v8 l% Y1 G+ Y- f
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