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* y! E" X6 x$ P: GMona Simpson and her fiancé, Richard Appel, 19917 h( U' o$ p7 [+ q* N4 r, G
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Joan Baez
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In 1982, when he was still working on the Macintosh, Jobs met the famed folksinger Joan7 a% I# J! R' I- h1 v* L/ ?
Baez through her sister Mimi Fariña, who headed a charity that was trying to get donations/ m5 u. N: ~$ n, }
of computers for prisons. A few weeks later he and Baez had lunch in Cupertino. “I wasn’t6 ^9 L2 f! n b- {3 Y/ n3 G9 N$ C
expecting a lot, but she was really smart and funny,” he recalled. At the time, he was
4 c! S S u2 s& Tnearing the end of his relationship with Barbara Jasinski. They had vacationed in Hawaii," M+ A N, U' l' B
shared a house in the Santa Cruz mountains, and even gone to one of Baez’s concerts3 k) y$ J+ U0 ~1 [& M- d& n- B+ H
together. As his relationship with Jasinski flamed out, Jobs began getting more serious with2 g- l" O0 c, A3 i( \2 `3 P( X- g: i
Baez. He was twenty-seven and Baez was forty-one, but for a few years they had a
% }: D0 i) n% F& }+ B- a7 e' Lromance. “It turned into a serious relationship between two accidental friends who became0 A% m [( g- Q2 _
lovers,” Jobs recalled in a somewhat wistful tone.1 m1 u' [% Y2 D, K
Elizabeth Holmes, Jobs’s friend from Reed College, believed that one of the reasons he1 O/ {/ c1 w& K" Y8 }8 O. J- L
went out with Baez—other than the fact that she was beautiful and funny and talented—, U0 f3 y0 r& z- G* [- w' O m
was that she had once been the lover of Bob Dylan. “Steve loved that connection to
! w) p# F% W% U+ T2 Q, JDylan,” she later said. Baez and Dylan had been lovers in the early 1960s, and they toured7 ^/ J$ o! Y; m
as friends after that, including with the Rolling Thunder Revue in 1975. (Jobs had the* D2 O5 ^/ Y2 G: @
bootlegs of those concerts.)5 ]' N3 u1 v6 I
When she met Jobs, Baez had a fourteen-year-old son, Gabriel, from her marriage to the, R" h+ T9 L% T+ `4 n9 ]
antiwar activist David Harris. At lunch she told Jobs she was trying to teach Gabe how to
% L, j# r. [ R6 R# d: ~' Qtype. “You mean on a typewriter?” Jobs asked. When she said yes, he replied, “But a
# c0 R- j' B( A) x/ R; g# xtypewriter is antiquated.”
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; u2 e. z$ _* s. r7 K6 Q“If a typewriter is antiquated, what does that make me?” she asked. There was an
' d: @4 b8 `6 [* T( D: e9 ^5 r" \awkward pause. As Baez later told me, “As soon as I said it, I realized the answer was so
% a+ l- x B8 G4 Yobvious. The question just hung in the air. I was just horrified.”
/ s8 F$ j- ?) b$ SMuch to the astonishment of the Macintosh team, Jobs burst into the office one day with) ^' t% p J/ Y7 I$ t& P
Baez and showed her the prototype of the Macintosh. They were dumbfounded that he
2 M& W( F: v$ [3 [0 d% o9 ?would reveal the computer to an outsider, given his obsession with secrecy, but they were- W% {/ j, u6 D$ x" f& R
even more blown away to be in the presence of Joan Baez. He gave Gabe an Apple II, and& `0 A( F" Y7 I: W
he later gave Baez a Macintosh. On visits Jobs would show off the features he liked. “He7 h. ?5 s' v( ]6 S- \$ |' ~* _" e n
was sweet and patient, but he was so advanced in his knowledge that he had trouble
& F1 k9 E/ V1 i- jteaching me,” she recalled.7 t; B0 v4 R9 A, y+ S$ ?
He was a sudden multimillionaire; she was a world-famous celebrity, but sweetly down-) B8 S" n" z& G2 a- z
to-earth and not all that wealthy. She didn’t know what to make of him then, and still found. l; [; `; o: `
him puzzling when she talked about him almost thirty years later. At one dinner early in, _: D# r2 d2 Q
their relationship, Jobs started talking about Ralph Lauren and his Polo Shop, which she
9 R- W7 {4 I$ r5 u9 ]" Q6 r9 _- Kadmitted she had never visited. “There’s a beautiful red dress there that would be perfect5 P9 i! C: J0 u0 S9 m2 B$ S, G
for you,” he said, and then drove her to the store in the Stanford Mall. Baez recalled, “I said* ^2 Y- Y& m; x4 c
to myself, far out, terrific, I’m with one of the world’s richest men and he wants me to have
2 g) f) o% \2 U8 w0 N. G' ^+ Uthis beautiful dress.” When they got to the store, Jobs bought a handful of shirts for himself5 z( p( b: K/ E8 c& x
and showed her the red dress. “You ought to buy it,” he said. She was a little surprised, and
3 I0 [& M/ Q$ _( k4 V0 ~, htold him she couldn’t really afford it. He said nothing, and they left. “Wouldn’t you think if1 k/ j' o+ ~$ o) g) ~) H6 T2 Y
someone had talked like that the whole evening, that they were going to get it for you?” she% o9 n) f2 t8 H8 W% f$ L
asked me, seeming genuinely puzzled about the incident. “The mystery of the red dress is
/ D9 P# L+ E; r8 r, Qin your hands. I felt a bit strange about it.” He would give her computers, but not a dress,4 V5 m5 \8 T9 V/ B* @- c0 \
and when he brought her flowers he made sure to say they were left over from an event in
3 @6 e( [ R* G7 A( K) \the office. “He was both romantic and afraid to be romantic,” she said.
3 N. Q, k7 x) o/ F# e, ~& hWhen he was working on the NeXT computer, he went to Baez’s house in Woodside to
0 y: G4 M* u2 h, ~! kshow her how well it could produce music. “He had it play a Brahms quartet, and he told
+ d# `1 a: j# M1 @me eventually computers would sound better than humans playing it, even get the innuendo
' o$ O0 y h( t5 v5 Eand the cadences better,” Baez recalled. She was revolted by the idea. “He was working J T; A4 }0 C" V
himself up into a fervor of delight while I was shrinking into a rage and thinking, How2 F) K5 g; A; y: }
could you defile music like that?”' g4 r: E" G* F2 y1 V) K
Jobs would confide in Debi Coleman and Joanna Hoffman about his relationship with: [4 u# K8 m; S' s5 |; k
Baez and worry about whether he could marry someone who had a teenage son and was
/ y# j% Q3 E7 o' V7 T ~probably past the point of wanting to have more children. “At times he would belittle her as
& i& _5 \1 L& h. k6 _, zbeing an ‘issues’ singer and not a true ‘political’ singer like Dylan,” said Hoffman. “She
+ A. ?6 L# X( N v' \6 ^5 jwas a strong woman, and he wanted to show he was in control. Plus, he always said he) Z: o; C( _7 i# H9 s7 A
wanted to have a family, and with her he knew that he wouldn’t.”
9 M5 b- n( Q9 g$ l$ t% D) V5 y8 ^( bAnd so, after about three years, they ended their romance and drifted into becoming just2 }# G6 n- K! `% k
friends. “I thought I was in love with her, but I really just liked her a lot,” he later said. “We
* y, ?3 P1 l; z( iweren’t destined to be together. I wanted kids, and she didn’t want any more.” In her 1989 h( l' Q$ a; J" g8 [: @& D/ u
memoir, Baez wrote about her breakup with her husband and why she never remarried: “I
% O5 `& c" p" l9 O# nbelonged alone, which is how I have been since then, with occasional interruptions that are 0 ?% ?, r' s; C+ y! n
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+ w, Z w4 k. m2 ]; Jmostly picnics.” She did add a nice acknowledgment at the end of the book to “Steve Jobs; i: o9 Q2 L& W% }7 d/ [3 M
for forcing me to use a word processor by putting one in my kitchen.”$ \. N) N1 n5 Z) `4 J
G/ n- v2 \. P) ]' z: K6 dFinding Joanne and Mona- d9 e) m9 }5 p# Q) |
# g w% }2 p5 S9 e, `! {, X$ B6 |When Jobs was thirty-one, a year after his ouster from Apple, his mother Clara, who was a- [+ E/ Y6 [; `+ K+ h2 m! a, e
smoker, was stricken with lung cancer. He spent time by her deathbed, talking to her in
7 S' t- J5 O/ S2 M$ m& ^2 R0 E5 V( Kways he had rarely done in the past and asking some questions he had refrained from" X9 y! z6 v, w3 |
raising before. “When you and Dad got married, were you a virgin?” he asked. It was hard/ X% S% N$ I g0 q
for her to talk, but she forced a smile. That’s when she told him that she had been married- v9 U) O/ b: d" J: E' H
before, to a man who never made it back from the war. She also filled in some of the details4 @1 ]0 v9 `. }
of how she and Paul Jobs had come to adopt him.
8 Y D. Y4 \. k4 K# NSoon after that, Jobs succeeded in tracking down the woman who had put him up for! P7 l6 {# z, T
adoption. His quiet quest to find her had begun in the early 1980s, when he hired a: F4 X. R6 N" p
detective who had failed to come up with anything. Then Jobs noticed the name of a San
b) Y! G/ ~) m4 Z3 YFrancisco doctor on his birth certificate. “He was in the phone book, so I gave him a call,”, C3 T( _1 M% N
Jobs recalled. The doctor was no help. He claimed that his records had been destroyed in a: T' U. U- D. b! X$ k
fire. That was not true. In fact, right after Jobs called, the doctor wrote a letter, sealed it in
0 G3 V+ e- e/ ]+ x7 ?: P" w; Wan envelope, and wrote on it, “To be delivered to Steve Jobs on my death.” When he died a
# K# {/ v( z1 M% F7 e" {) o7 Eshort time later, his widow sent the letter to Jobs. In it, the doctor explained that his mother
# N6 @' k2 v) T, i2 ^* Khad been an unmarried graduate student from Wisconsin named Joanne Schieble.
7 b' o7 @ d3 {9 m) _: K' M% TIt took another few weeks and the work of another detective to track her down. After5 v% m$ ~' x) Y
giving him up, Joanne had married his biological father, Abdulfattah “John” Jandali, and0 C5 \& P$ x3 ] b
they had another child, Mona. Jandali abandoned them five years later, and Joanne married
+ n; Y4 P) C: A0 w; b) q5 fa colorful ice-skating instructor, George Simpson. That marriage didn’t last long either, and# n2 }8 J1 |& A% h! z3 c3 D! C
in 1970 she began a meandering journey that took her and Mona (both of them now using
5 x7 x, Y. `4 fthe last name Simpson) to Los Angeles.1 _( N# Z& d# w) F7 f, V: z
Jobs had been reluctant to let Paul and Clara, whom he considered his real parents, know- j# T& P- p; \; V1 T0 f( {
about his search for his birth mother. With a sensitivity that was unusual for him, and which$ O8 I# R- g& m& A" |5 z
showed the deep affection he felt for his parents, he worried that they might be offended.
9 z' T) {# c5 p' {# l9 DSo he never contacted Joanne Simpson until after Clara Jobs died in early 1986. “I never, u2 t, p" G8 f" {. j
wanted them to feel like I didn’t consider them my parents, because they were totally my- a8 [$ I- B; D. _) H! v; H8 E
parents,” he recalled. “I loved them so much that I never wanted them to know of my: f$ P! O0 i" Z
search, and I even had reporters keep it quiet when any of them found out.” When Clara$ _. z2 ~. N# G7 p/ B6 F" \
died, he decided to tell Paul Jobs, who was perfectly comfortable and said he didn’t mind at, a7 d: D# ?. g/ F' W$ Y3 y
all if Steve made contact with his biological mother." D p- c) D& A5 T+ N- m
So one day Jobs called Joanne Simpson, said who he was, and arranged to come down to) F% w# {8 u) H* C; X
Los Angeles to meet her. He later claimed it was mainly out of curiosity. “I believe in- l# w/ P4 e* d7 Z. | x7 R
environment more than heredity in determining your traits, but still you have to wonder a j4 t& C" A& h7 f5 j( ~
little about your biological roots,” he said. He also wanted to reassure Joanne that what she6 R- F; q2 k" H9 m6 z
had done was all right. “I wanted to meet my biological mother mostly to see if she was
0 x" U. d" I$ Q# e1 s: S( a7 L' tokay and to thank her, because I’m glad I didn’t end up as an abortion. She was twenty-4 M6 J( `; w. x |8 U
three and she went through a lot to have me.” 7 p# |& F1 N5 Y' v- p4 G2 o
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Joanne was overcome with emotion when Jobs arrived at her Los Angeles house. She
8 z2 O4 Y, M6 w8 b7 dknew he was famous and rich, but she wasn’t exactly sure why. She immediately began to! I( { k5 E$ [6 r5 _0 k) ]
pour out her emotions. She had been pressured to sign the papers putting him up for
0 N. T# Y- P8 `# a2 j) ?+ hadoption, she said, and did so only when told that he was happy in the house of his new
$ \2 M2 g2 x) Z: |: y9 C sparents. She had always missed him and suffered about what she had done. She apologized
" i3 A8 x3 g. K5 a- Nover and over, even as Jobs kept reassuring her that he understood, and that things had
6 |0 D+ ^) Z+ [# b# Hturned out just fine.9 N; Y$ a& A" C0 ^; r
Once she calmed down, she told Jobs that he had a full sister, Mona Simpson, who was
. g7 t' ^4 Z% z( d* Rthen an aspiring novelist in Manhattan. She had never told Mona that she had a brother, and
) y' Z l! W" u6 A1 G" @that day she broke the news, or at least part of it, by telephone. “You have a brother, and
" q1 |4 `+ I. Y- \, Ehe’s wonderful, and he’s famous, and I’m going to bring him to New York so you can meet
% w; S8 }9 B: {" z7 F: Vhim,” she said. Mona was in the throes of finishing a novel about her mother and their: T/ P7 s+ `# ?; q
peregrination from Wisconsin to Los Angeles, Anywhere but Here. Those who’ve read it% Z) ]2 O5 E" z: M9 @' |8 }6 |9 p
will not be surprised that Joanne was somewhat quirky in the way she imparted to Mona
+ T6 Y5 ]0 r6 F7 {* i, k- P. O0 ]- ythe news about her brother. She refused to say who he was—only that he had been poor,
. K! g6 q* ^3 n8 Ihad gotten rich, was good-looking and famous, had long dark hair, and lived in California.+ N9 l1 d4 N6 ?& o$ H- {
Mona then worked at the Paris Review, George Plimpton’s literary journal housed on the0 c0 J8 @9 p% P( W& I$ A
ground floor of his townhouse near Manhattan’s East River. She and her coworkers began a
6 P* H4 c9 q$ `* Q; Z( D! X( D: Cguessing game on who her brother might be. John Travolta? That was one of the favorite6 H/ o( @* [4 a6 J" f
guesses. Other actors were also hot prospects. At one point someone did toss out a guess
- T% a9 q J7 M( {: j" Y$ Wthat “maybe it’s one of those guys who started Apple computer,” but no one could recall
" c9 e4 {2 Y) q9 |0 j, Ktheir names.: L- [8 H) y k; j; c- l7 ?* ^
The meeting occurred in the lobby of the St. Regis Hotel. “He was totally2 v- J5 A/ c% t6 O3 b }( u
straightforward and lovely, just a normal and sweet guy,” Mona recalled. They all sat and4 h& b; c( i! S1 ]3 U
talked for a few minutes, then he took his sister for a long walk, just the two of them. Jobs
5 f1 R( `5 d9 K% W3 P; u3 M" }was thrilled to find that he had a sibling who was so similar to him. They were both intense
% B- c6 Z+ A9 @/ b8 \: |in their artistry, observant of their surroundings, and sensitive yet strong-willed. When they. Q4 l, l, ^) v7 V
went to dinner together, they noticed the same architectural details and talked about them' p$ _6 {; W! @
excitedly afterward. “My sister’s a writer!” he exulted to colleagues at Apple when he
# P2 ^2 ^; S: u6 a; `3 Qfound out.) z5 i% k: }; C E4 s: R- L/ f# d* x
When Plimpton threw a party for Anywhere but Here in late 1986, Jobs flew to New
1 g" g& U# n3 i% ]: C$ w. DYork to accompany Mona to it. They grew increasingly close, though their friendship had& s2 g7 A- _# \9 i+ a
the complexities that might be expected, considering who they were and how they had9 l# f: p+ n R7 M% K0 P- |
come together. “Mona was not completely thrilled at first to have me in her life and have8 N, I6 l+ G* D2 }. U
her mother so emotionally affectionate toward me,” he later said. “As we got to know each# S: b- n& q7 @8 L, h' U! w5 b* W
other, we became really good friends, and she is my family. I don’t know what I’d do
- Z7 G1 S% O S! Y8 p8 Owithout her. I can’t imagine a better sister. My adopted sister, Patty, and I were never' o; w7 Q- `1 D, i7 @
close.” Mona likewise developed a deep affection for him, and at times could be very
5 o& p# q2 h/ H9 pprotective, although she would later write an edgy novel about him, A Regular Guy, that
. D$ l& j! S5 y5 r( l9 c1 Idescribed his quirks with discomforting accuracy.* z' T/ d- i. q _$ C% {
One of the few things they would argue about was her clothes. She dressed like a
& l; D) J* d+ R+ ]struggling novelist, and he would berate her for not wearing clothes that were “fetching0 K3 D3 O% M' m: |3 A4 v3 l
enough.” At one point his comments so annoyed her that she wrote him a letter: “I am a * Y/ ]0 o4 A6 l
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young writer, and this is my life, and I’m not trying to be a model anyway.” He didn’t
9 a( m5 {$ ]% H9 m+ t; t/ [7 {answer. But shortly after, a box arrived from the store of Issey Miyake, the Japanese
9 w$ v5 t! ^8 k7 bfashion designer whose stark and technology-influenced style made him one of Jobs’s& H: G4 p% t4 o1 d# Y6 k+ c
favorites. “He’d gone shopping for me,” she later said, “and he’d picked out great things,$ W9 \6 \% d1 r1 z
exactly my size, in flattering colors.” There was one pantsuit that he had particularly liked,
' k |) V, E1 g! V3 W5 |& w' Mand the shipment included three of them, all identical. “I still remember those first suits I
f8 _5 x! z% j5 xsent Mona,” he said. “They were linen pants and tops in a pale grayish green that looked
2 z4 b s( [; t9 ^9 R" a+ Q. m5 y7 Ubeautiful with her reddish hair.”
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4 S+ Y* F/ G5 j. {The Lost Father; o6 s1 ~3 g# B8 G# X- W7 F" ~& e
7 z4 w7 J$ O! N, S/ X# _1 f. b wIn the meantime, Mona Simpson had been trying to track down their father, who had1 m# f6 t+ B; U) @" ]! {
wandered off when she was five. Through Ken Auletta and Nick Pileggi, prominent0 Q' Z6 L& _' V. O2 F
Manhattan writers, she was introduced to a retired New York cop who had formed his own& ]# `5 R, n* d$ I: H
detective agency. “I paid him what little money I had,” Simpson recalled, but the search+ s* M e: c% ^/ U, o+ N ]
was unsuccessful. Then she met another private eye in California, who was able to find an6 S$ d" @6 y$ x7 M$ P
address for Abdulfattah Jandali in Sacramento through a Department of Motor Vehicles+ {9 {4 o8 G' G6 Y7 G; D
search. Simpson told her brother and flew out from New York to see the man who was$ R6 W+ r6 [8 V F! a: a v
apparently their father.
+ P% H# _* g, G4 w% UJobs had no interest in meeting him. “He didn’t treat me well,” he later explained. “I: S, W5 g7 A( ?: |- t
don’t hold anything against him—I’m happy to be alive. But what bothers me most is that: E t5 b+ ^# S$ T9 U8 P
he didn’t treat Mona well. He abandoned her.” Jobs himself had abandoned his own
% I6 h: q: F- J* j' q& w! qillegitimate daughter, Lisa, and now was trying to restore their relationship, but that$ Y! w0 U3 f* D% ?
complexity did not soften his feelings toward Jandali. Simpson went to Sacramento alone.
+ L! g! G$ W4 ?4 `8 \% \“It was very intense,” Simpson recalled. She found her father working in a small
8 `7 x. c# [6 j6 krestaurant. He seemed happy to see her, yet oddly passive about the entire situation. They: T7 w g' L, D8 u
talked for a few hours, and he recounted that, after he left Wisconsin, he had drifted away0 g+ G9 {5 R/ f" `
from teaching and gotten into the restaurant business.4 g/ V: F& K S! o
Jobs had asked Simpson not to mention him, so she didn’t. But at one point her father
4 v! D$ W" M1 L ecasually remarked that he and her mother had had another baby, a boy, before she had been
+ s4 K1 j' {9 K# `# u0 qborn. “What happened to him?” she asked. He replied, “We’ll never see that baby again.
5 Q% E8 {* e+ w1 J: M/ T$ VThat baby’s gone.” Simpson recoiled but said nothing.
# r$ c- u1 @- JAn even more astonishing revelation occurred when Jandali was describing the previous" t- a% M/ O7 k4 Y6 K$ ~, E
restaurants that he had run. There had been some nice ones, he insisted, fancier than the
% C, r( E4 l% ?; }+ U& }Sacramento joint they were then sitting in. He told her, somewhat emotionally, that he
2 J& S- }. u; K& @wished she could have seen him when he was managing a Mediterranean restaurant north* Q/ M2 \8 W5 V# L" n+ ?5 z
of San Jose. “That was a wonderful place,” he said. “All of the successful technology7 T- n, R1 O6 A: X: n
people used to come there. Even Steve Jobs.” Simpson was stunned. “Oh, yeah, he used to
7 s$ o& G$ \( Bcome in, and he was a sweet guy, and a big tipper,” her father added. Mona was able to; h s- d% ^/ h& i- G
refrain from blurting out, Steve Jobs is your son!7 ?5 h7 g5 n& U
When the visit was over, she called Jobs surreptitiously from the pay phone at the
$ G% {. P; j2 e1 C" prestaurant and arranged to meet him at the Espresso Roma café in Berkeley. Adding to the
3 U( H6 N8 ?5 J- ~. Z: r/ a( Ypersonal and family drama, he brought along Lisa, now in grade school, who lived with her & r$ @$ ^/ [" s) `: r
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mother, Chrisann. When they all arrived at the café, it was close to 10 p.m., and Simpson8 S+ I2 A& b' n2 o) O/ T" [
poured forth the tale. Jobs was understandably astonished when she mentioned the& y* I! f" y0 Z+ X" h" D7 N
restaurant near San Jose. He could recall being there and even meeting the man who was! L. F, R, P% n$ _! H+ a
his biological father. “It was amazing,” he later said of the revelation. “I had been to that
, m: F# B' w! ~9 l' c) Irestaurant a few times, and I remember meeting the owner. He was Syrian. Balding. We l4 l* x) `4 K% B* r9 M1 j8 ^
shook hands.”! A$ U: R; G* w! H$ D
Nevertheless Jobs still had no desire to see him. “I was a wealthy man by then, and I( _0 t" r$ F2 ^/ z! w
didn’t trust him not to try to blackmail me or go to the press about it,” he recalled. “I asked
/ r% m T2 c7 {4 n% Q, ?Mona not to tell him about me.”* p& m2 }0 s9 z' R$ _
She never did, but years later Jandali saw his relationship to Jobs mentioned online. (A
) `2 e1 V# M+ X) `! ~1 j$ U+ Xblogger noticed that Simpson had listed Jandali as her father in a reference book and
+ o3 ~' k# x% {& v0 yfigured out he must be Jobs’s father as well.) By then Jandali was married for a fourth time: C+ r; U$ m6 b: Q
and working as a food and beverage manager at the Boomtown Resort and Casino just west# c7 _4 s3 X4 M) ]
of Reno, Nevada. When he brought his new wife, Roscille, to visit Simpson in 2006, he
& `& o# v" X0 o# b# r! e' {raised the topic. “What is this thing about Steve Jobs?” he asked. She confirmed the story,' s. {' q4 _9 }* |1 M. {; a
but added that she thought Jobs had no interest in meeting him. Jandali seemed to accept) \7 R% K# J# R3 P, P" M6 J6 {
that. “My father is thoughtful and a beautiful storyteller, but he is very, very passive,”
; R" p0 A7 O9 ] o2 bSimpson said. “He never contacted Steve.”
, W1 \, v+ Q1 e- M1 J. K! H8 ySimpson turned her search for Jandali into a basis for her second novel, The Lost Father, c8 y- W T3 D8 _% L- T
published in 1992. (Jobs convinced Paul Rand, the designer who did the NeXT logo, to
. | H8 f/ a) ]9 H/ D$ n: Bdesign the cover, but according to Simpson, “It was God-awful and we never used it.”) She
* l8 C% |3 B7 w g+ P- a6 Z! _3 kalso tracked down various members of the Jandali family, in Homs and in America, and in
9 U; G1 }: _, G6 m) f8 C2 o2011 was writing a novel about her Syrian roots. The Syrian ambassador in Washington5 `3 Z: ?: d) y6 b
threw a dinner for her that included a cousin and his wife who then lived in Florida and had
2 Y$ d b6 L3 k" R5 } @flown up for the occasion.
, ]! N; J. D. ASimpson assumed that Jobs would eventually meet Jandali, but as time went on he
* `+ h+ B0 I5 R! B, w# U- oshowed even less interest. In 2010, when Jobs and his son, Reed, went to a birthday dinner
* f. ?' [+ L% n( }% X' I8 `* O7 gfor Simpson at her Los Angeles house, Reed spent some time looking at pictures of his
3 f$ E J1 Z. t8 E; X, f4 Dbiological grandfather, but Jobs ignored them. Nor did he seem to care about his Syrian4 N' f/ U' K H9 R! q) N
heritage. When the Middle East would come up in conversation, the topic did not engage0 F, m" j# g m
him or evoke his typical strong opinions, even after Syria was swept up in the 2011 Arab
; U9 u% `6 z! L) H/ J1 OSpring uprisings. “I don’t think anybody really knows what we should be doing over
( I! y# o! X3 Kthere,” he said when I asked whether the Obama administration should be intervening more" k! _2 p7 U( z* B! r' w' m
in Egypt, Libya, and Syria. “You’re fucked if you do and you’re fucked if you don’t.”
( E" m: q" ~3 Q6 N: [9 ~Jobs did retain a friendly relationship with his biological mother, Joanne Simpson. Over
) ]# q0 C! K# T6 M, y$ ithe years she and Mona would often spend Christmas at Jobs’s house. The visits could be
! o# X. |! S# U0 X# i0 Q& r5 Lsweet, but also emotionally draining. Joanne would sometimes break into tears, say how: t5 h( ^( {! D( U. c% _" H6 B9 S
much she had loved him, and apologize for giving him up. It turned out all right, Jobs
3 s1 A, Y3 o5 _! g. jwould reassure her. As he told her one Christmas, “Don’t worry. I had a great childhood. I4 M9 J2 K: S4 Q) A. R1 D' v
turned out okay.”4 V% t j/ g( J8 C( ^2 I/ T3 T0 s% d# ^
0 [, L& ^% a+ Y
Lisa 8 |( c ]- |* _& F
8 l8 Q5 a$ t5 e6 f$ M, |, k
1 j/ ]4 W- Q8 I5 m: _# f7 [* p
. ]) {2 X: Z4 Q5 @# D- Y% ~; C6 {; N8 z
+ K6 I2 C( F4 d. F$ j' @9 K3 B$ H" g `, `
* P. A& r4 Z& ?3 F* B" G. U" T; i; t! b/ s* I7 g
9 V4 y0 H# R2 g4 k$ p7 M3 NLisa Brennan, however, did not have a great childhood. When she was young, her father2 u' G; J* U8 S) q
almost never came to see her. “I didn’t want to be a father, so I wasn’t,” Jobs later said,. G: I! v3 n' @1 Y
with only a touch of remorse in his voice. Yet occasionally he felt the tug. One day, when4 Q% \" J9 {4 O
Lisa was three, Jobs was driving near the house he had bought for her and Chrisann, and he
& V0 g8 R) K8 ~, Y4 _decided to stop. Lisa didn’t know who he was. He sat on the doorstep, not venturing inside,9 |" l5 M; ~" Z" c1 G
and talked to Chrisann. The scene was repeated once or twice a year. Jobs would come by% d8 [& \' H7 M
unannounced, talk a little bit about Lisa’s school options or other issues, then drive off in
1 Z* }6 d, h( [" M7 h' J' A3 R6 fhis Mercedes.% R) S8 T% U5 O; B# N! B
But by the time Lisa turned eight, in 1986, the visits were occurring more frequently.( V' r) d0 k( y: I# ?( V
Jobs was no longer immersed in the grueling push to create the Macintosh or in the
7 @( w5 Z! v) L9 V9 O& h, @' Rsubsequent power struggles with Sculley. He was at NeXT, which was calmer, friendlier,3 s% B) k/ v0 V! H0 g, P/ \
and headquartered in Palo Alto, near where Chrisann and Lisa lived. In addition, by the
' h6 g8 O5 Z0 c4 @5 w5 i/ m! Ftime she was in third grade, it was clear that Lisa was a smart and artistic kid, who had
) V8 X, |" y0 K! A# j, P( ` w; qalready been singled out by her teachers for her writing ability. She was spunky and high-
9 P" c! }6 V1 ^; c5 f; A6 Zspirited and had a little of her father’s defiant attitude. She also looked a bit like him, with. o0 I3 j. q( f8 d' m% Q
arched eyebrows and a faintly Middle Eastern angularity. One day, to the surprise of his2 h0 X$ H0 d% ]9 L
colleagues, he brought her by the office. As she turned cartwheels in the corridor, she
: i( w% Q0 O) K' Lsquealed, “Look at me!”4 k" u+ F5 ^3 s3 `! q) E& ^
Avie Tevanian, a lanky and gregarious engineer at NeXT who had become Jobs’s friend,5 o0 `8 P, l f9 t- b S
remembers that every now and then, when they were going out to dinner, they would stop
6 `5 F3 V" h8 x& J8 e0 wby Chrisann’s house to pick up Lisa. “He was very sweet to her,” Tevanian recalled. “He4 S2 M. r6 C4 a5 H$ d
was a vegetarian, and so was Chrisann, but she wasn’t. He was fine with that. He suggested7 n# ^7 S" T- l o* Z
she order chicken, and she did.”
2 K7 \+ v8 L. R6 _! EEating chicken became her little indulgence as she shuttled between two parents who Y& r$ J. n5 ?, s
were vegetarians with a spiritual regard for natural foods. “We bought our groceries—our# n& V4 f* M0 c6 M1 S
puntarella, quinoa, celeriac, carob-covered nuts—in yeasty-smelling stores where the
4 j! \& e1 i* P. z: n1 Qwomen didn’t dye their hair,” she later wrote about her time with her mother. “But we" f$ P# a, u' p( v$ D3 o
sometimes tasted foreign treats. A few times we bought a hot, seasoned chicken from a
( g/ V4 V- O1 B4 Rgourmet shop with rows and rows of chickens turning on spits, and ate it in the car from the1 i! x( M5 u2 x6 j
foil-lined paper bag with our fingers.” Her father, whose dietary fixations came in fanatic
9 @( G: I; I% _% z1 z& zwaves, was more fastidious about what he ate. She watched him spit out a mouthful of soup
: @3 N5 h0 D/ pone day after learning that it contained butter. After loosening up a bit while at Apple, he
8 X. s) y, n& Y; B( q. H% Nwas back to being a strict vegan. Even at a young age Lisa began to realize his diet, t( k( y5 ]8 C* r
obsessions reflected a life philosophy, one in which asceticism and minimalism could* H; I B' \8 E7 R* K5 l5 S. }! k
heighten subsequent sensations. “He believed that great harvests came from arid sources,, g' U4 I% @: `
pleasure from restraint,” she noted. “He knew the equations that most people didn’t know:
3 J+ r' n% Q. z% KThings led to their opposites.”0 P% A2 G2 r& j0 d4 G" S
In a similar way, the absence and coldness of her father made his occasional moments of
7 V6 Y3 v9 \1 fwarmth so much more intensely gratifying. “I didn’t live with him, but he would stop by- v; z X+ E' {8 x' ^% e- o
our house some days, a deity among us for a few tingling moments or hours,” she recalled.
( t( I1 d' H% U2 t+ eLisa soon became interesting enough that he would take walks with her. He would also go& I7 U; Z- T% i# `( D3 Y
rollerblading with her on the quiet streets of old Palo Alto, often stopping at the houses of! w L7 J) K; k, @5 Y0 b
Joanna Hoffman and Andy Hertzfeld. The first time he brought her around to see Hoffman, + w, M4 J# c- e) K
- ? P, b6 @$ A6 S" b2 w$ a) L
' B& c1 d9 |% I
% J' \4 N1 F9 e3 v" G( ]" @7 o
. R! H+ A# T, T6 I: U+ U0 V
. ^" A! x \" j8 G/ ?8 z% C) l' I# u; v0 R
7 v2 Z1 @/ y+ z: ^0 H7 r
7 f1 {, ?6 [) a q* @
4 Q6 |3 \- W+ m. n6 jhe just knocked on the door and announced, “This is Lisa.” Hoffman knew right away. “It# d6 @, t6 M& t% \8 n" M0 Q% K
was obvious she was his daughter,” she told me. “Nobody has that jaw. It’s a signature+ ^/ Q8 ?6 x/ s5 Z, C
jaw.” Hoffman, who suffered from not knowing her own divorced father until she was ten,
3 V7 a3 y0 Q) z4 j' l9 I; Hencouraged Jobs to be a better father. He followed her advice, and later thanked her for it.
c( l0 c1 @# ?) ^Once he took Lisa on a business trip to Tokyo, and they stayed at the sleek and
1 N; U q5 I4 a1 c. ~( U) M, ?& obusinesslike Okura Hotel. At the elegant downstairs sushi bar, Jobs ordered large trays of
7 a' _# q+ ^4 @1 Eunagi sushi, a dish he loved so much that he allowed the warm cooked eel to pass muster as# _* g; A* e& u
vegetarian. The pieces were coated with fine salt or a thin sweet sauce, and Lisa
: B9 b1 l/ G' z* f0 P9 hremembered later how they dissolved in her mouth. So, too, did the distance between them.8 P) `/ K' S* V- Y3 u6 Y
As she later wrote, “It was the first time I’d felt, with him, so relaxed and content, over
, Y" l4 i6 o0 B* O0 othose trays of meat; the excess, the permission and warmth after the cold salads, meant a
+ \# ]3 o8 f4 J# O, ~2 c# B: R4 [once inaccessible space had opened. He was less rigid with himself, even human under the
0 ]) K s, y, A: U9 lgreat ceilings with the little chairs, with the meat, and me.”
- _3 g4 `1 w% A$ EBut it was not always sweetness and light. Jobs was as mercurial with Lisa as he was
6 z% d d- A; ?; q/ H& \with almost everyone, cycling between embrace and abandonment. On one visit he would; b# c/ `) y, P
be playful; on the next he would be cold; often he was not there at all. “She was always R |: F ]' d; `& t
unsure of their relationship,” according to Hertzfeld. “I went to a birthday party of hers,& Z: I- t/ \1 S* |9 R
and Steve was supposed to come, and he was very, very, late. She got extremely anxious
: `5 n# ~# K0 B7 Y) B# s* Y! fand disappointed. But when he finally did come, she totally lit up.”
" k9 g% K+ D/ h1 Y$ Z$ m" b d3 jLisa learned to be temperamental in return. Over the years their relationship would be a6 Q4 @& \4 l/ m A- ~. F9 w# m
roller coaster, with each of the low points elongated by their shared stubbornness. After a
% Y" D- F" Z( V; i: a. P3 Hfalling-out, they could go for months not speaking to each other. Neither one was good at
# m" z4 z3 q9 X: qreaching out, apologizing, or making the effort to heal, even when he was wrestling with# G6 ]2 h& P0 _; C% G3 v9 B$ P
repeated health problems. One day in the fall of 2010 he was wistfully going through a box/ ] s; z( X3 ?3 L' e/ X: \
of old snapshots with me, and paused over one that showed him visiting Lisa when she was) N8 }; Y& _8 i' }) C% ]
young. “I probably didn’t go over there enough,” he said. Since he had not spoken to her all4 @& [: Z& j+ n% X# c
that year, I asked if he might want to reach out to her with a call or email. He looked at me
, N: O# x. k4 _1 \0 {! Oblankly for a moment, then went back to riffling through other old photographs.4 @8 ~: F; G& L4 i3 }
. t3 b& h' h% n$ {
The Romantic
! e+ J) ~6 Y$ v7 r9 d5 ^$ \3 ]; \9 }. l( v3 S& g- ?
When it came to women, Jobs could be deeply romantic. He tended to fall in love$ v5 \# b/ _0 J8 \1 |( N
dramatically, share with friends every up and down of a relationship, and pine in public& S5 P6 I h' P- j' z% f2 Z4 V
whenever he was away from his current girlfriend. In the summer of 1983 he went to a9 O- Z# P: G% ^; r
small dinner party in Silicon Valley with Joan Baez and sat next to an undergraduate at the, g* [& u1 n7 _2 Z1 C9 w# {
University of Pennsylvania named Jennifer Egan, who was not quite sure who he was. By
L; F" C4 h6 \then he and Baez had realized that they weren’t destined to be forever young together, and
+ D# J: ?0 e. MJobs found himself fascinated by Egan, who was working on a San Francisco weekly
, X. C+ b% o! R8 M- L1 w( F5 w8 Cduring her summer vacation. He tracked her down, gave her a call, and took her to Café
0 I/ ~; B o7 O A6 {Jacqueline, a little bistro near Telegraph Hill that specialized in vegetarian soufflés.
J5 S# H# [( S3 HThey dated for a year, and Jobs often flew east to visit her. At a Boston Macworld event,3 J1 v; G" n% e2 _; z
he told a large gathering how much in love he was and thus needed to rush out to catch a
, M" K$ H% l) T, W5 qplane for Philadelphia to see his girlfriend. The audience was enchanted. When he was
$ c0 \5 R! n( f+ _3 _
+ n f; B/ G6 l: C1 R- C$ E% c, B0 d# P* b6 B
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, C0 D1 T6 Z! I, |: m5 z8 I0 @6 h' i8 y2 ]3 u' S4 `" f& K3 N
) x$ e9 E. |/ M4 g; a- H8 ~& q
5 ^' V4 l$ z a7 Q4 P
. X: m# B% N( o9 qvisiting New York, she would take the train up to stay with him at the Carlyle or at Jay2 o- t5 i% x+ n( u! R+ o) c* ]
Chiat’s Upper East Side apartment, and they would eat at Café Luxembourg, visit
( H8 i# Y# G/ N+ o2 q(repeatedly) the apartment in the San Remo he was planning to remodel, and go to movies1 O1 |' N B3 l6 x/ {% ^) ^4 a4 T
or (once at least) the opera.
) G. o: _* l7 C; C6 w9 _He and Egan also spoke for hours on the phone many nights. One topic they wrestled
$ @* v# G, o) k# D' g+ w7 awith was his belief, which came from his Buddhist studies, that it was important to avoid" L# G6 D( x7 L z8 ?& v, m# ~0 t8 J% u
attachment to material objects. Our consumer desires are unhealthy, he told her, and to
( Q# w2 b3 f# u0 E- f- ?, lattain enlightenment you need to develop a life of nonattachment and non-materialism. He
9 `; l' q6 Y# [even sent her a tape of Kobun Chino, his Zen teacher, lecturing about the problems caused
8 P' m6 b" Q2 }# [7 Y* ?" Uby craving and obtaining things. Egan pushed back. Wasn’t he defying that philosophy, she
9 t7 m! P! q% C1 g7 s+ P yasked, by making computers and other products that people coveted? “He was irritated by) C8 f a8 T$ K! Q1 f
the dichotomy, and we had exuberant debates about it,” Egan recalled.
; B. V- f. T3 G; a- k; h8 [' @In the end Jobs’s pride in the objects he made overcame his sensibility that people should0 m1 d/ R* D0 V' U5 p6 V
eschew being attached to such possessions. When the Macintosh came out in January 1984,
; \, C# `6 ~2 o& WEgan was staying at her mother’s apartment in San Francisco during her winter break from$ t+ Q0 F" _2 x4 x1 O
Penn. Her mother’s dinner guests were astonished one night when Steve Jobs—suddenly% ?5 O; j$ ]3 D
very famous—appeared at the door carrying a freshly boxed Macintosh and proceeded to7 m% J9 O% p( w$ G" t
Egan’s bedroom to set it up." c& _* P6 D7 Z# q( j% o$ O
Jobs told Egan, as he had a few other friends, about his premonition that he would not
: l* V( C, H P5 m4 D- dlive a long life. That was why he was driven and impatient, he confided. “He felt a sense of
/ Y( {: f" P9 Y$ n* i+ ]6 W. B* u( Furgency about all he wanted to get done,” Egan later said. Their relationship tapered off by8 M$ t# b( Q7 A. J% T$ P
the fall of 1984, when Egan made it clear that she was still far too young to think of getting- `1 ~+ `$ l, V% d2 ~. L# w
married.
2 `3 o! ~( `% o! z1 t3 ?5 g, u% m4 m- y- I; A
Shortly after that, just as the turmoil with Sculley was beginning to build at Apple in early
8 { @& X$ V, X4 g3 @; u1985, Jobs was heading to a meeting when he stopped at the office of a guy who was7 j% y; C. W0 E: I1 O
working with the Apple Foundation, which helped get computers to nonprofit& ^0 x# E4 s( B" G$ q; I, D
organizations. Sitting in his office was a lithe, very blond woman who combined a hippie# p: @7 e2 ^0 v! c
aura of natural purity with the solid sensibilities of a computer consultant. Her name was! e! v3 o/ u0 U: x1 u! B# y& z; S
Tina Redse. “She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen,” Jobs recalled. t, d- c8 D0 y$ N0 C
He called her the next day and asked her to dinner. She said no, that she was living with7 {% a- p# G+ {' F( B- `
a boyfriend. A few days later he took her on a walk to a nearby park and again asked her! Z5 \1 L/ e& E( {
out, and this time she told her boyfriend that she wanted to go. She was very honest and1 I# t, M( U- o2 l8 a
open. After dinner she started to cry because she knew her life was about to be disrupted.0 E# x& H$ I8 }# d" Y
And it was. Within a few months she had moved into the unfurnished mansion in0 Q: ~) s# n. k, x. z! _2 D$ J6 l
Woodside. “She was the first person I was truly in love with,” Jobs later said. “We had a
" F& N, a) R1 Gvery deep connection. I don’t know that anyone will ever understand me better than she
( C' {. Q' z9 X p) Ldid.”
' t* X! q( ^1 r% H% oRedse came from a troubled family, and Jobs shared with her his own pain about being
F; h! @1 Z a* e" G# z' N( eput up for adoption. “We were both wounded from our childhood,” Redse recalled. “He
1 F0 d+ L* M$ {$ Gsaid to me that we were misfits, which is why we belonged together.” They were physically
8 o2 _6 [/ U1 K; k8 i( _ d) hpassionate and prone to public displays of affection; their make-out sessions in the NeXT3 `0 z1 C, B% X
lobby are well remembered by employees. So too were their fights, which occurred at
- z6 y: M: G* m1 t4 u& N$ U/ |
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6 _4 ^) J: V* R1 Q5 q4 {' V3 w F3 V+ B$ v& R3 h- m
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6 J. h5 D: Y: B3 Y, r& m1 K
p5 h8 n9 S8 \& d1 Q: P* U0 b7 n0 H0 `9 _
movie theaters and in front of visitors to Woodside. Yet he constantly praised her purity and+ C$ M, w1 s4 m+ z" t. b
naturalness. As the well-grounded Joanna Hoffman pointed out when discussing Jobs’s
: d$ C3 W* N2 p- W3 Jinfatuation with the otherworldly Redse, “Steve had a tendency to look at vulnerabilities% b i' C+ g/ f+ q+ s) K! m
and neuroses and turn them into spiritual attributes.”* i2 j2 L5 ^( W* f" q5 n
When he was being eased out at Apple in 1985, Redse traveled with him in Europe,. r6 n. Q% v) f
where he was salving his wounds. Standing on a bridge over the Seine one evening, they
1 l: M7 l9 J3 ? t4 }bandied about the idea, more romantic than serious, of just staying in France, maybe
& o3 V( i- x0 W7 V3 `/ d3 Ysettling down, perhaps indefinitely. Redse was eager, but Jobs didn’t want to. He was
. l. J% o' o2 b) u eburned but still ambitious. “I am a reflection of what I do,” he told her. She recalled their
4 A: F9 U4 U4 }( X- J7 W2 `- XParis moment in a poignant email she sent to him twenty-five years later, after they had
5 Z+ V$ w2 s+ J( `gone their separate ways but retained their spiritual connection:
) l2 T) y( c; i3 GWe were on a bridge in Paris in the summer of 1985. It was overcast. We leaned against
& A& }% q) `9 i! t: o Lthe smooth stone rail and stared at the green water rolling on below. Your world had
1 c# Y; v4 v! R- Qcleaved and then it paused, waiting to rearrange itself around whatever you chose next. I
9 _/ y% m% U7 F# S0 I( Mwanted to run away from what had come before. I tried to convince you to begin a new life6 o: j/ f3 A4 l' H8 ]
with me in Paris, to shed our former selves and let something else course through us. I- d$ d1 f' E4 \4 E, d, v
wanted us to crawl through that black chasm of your broken world and emerge, anonymous( C' V5 T9 v/ A
and new, in simple lives where I could cook you simple dinners and we could be together
. m1 R4 D2 o; @every day, like children playing a sweet game with no purpose save the game itself. I like to
7 S% i4 C. n9 t' Y; Othink you considered it before you laughed and said “What could I do? I’ve made myself
, T9 O2 M+ [1 p& d6 _/ [/ f0 B; Sunemployable.” I like to think that in that moment’s hesitation before our bold futures
+ E6 U0 X% Q" Ereclaimed us, we lived that simple life together all the way into our peaceful old ages, with
% Q( a1 S* ?) m, f! `' ^; J% T" ]a brood of grandchildren around us on a farm in the south of France, quietly going about" S5 S# D0 Z6 O1 g- c
our days, warm and complete like loaves of fresh bread, our small world filled with the
# [3 W& z" G+ r) Raroma of patience and familiarity.+ _( `0 e7 q! }6 \* w- w) y
F2 c- b$ P. K
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J2 J0 n* G+ H# H+ ~8 @The relationship lurched up and down for five years. Redse hated living in his sparsely! f; i6 J0 y. h" u9 i* y
furnished Woodside house. Jobs had hired a hip young couple, who had once worked at
8 {2 {! u* i* s; M+ lChez Panisse, as housekeepers and vegetarian cooks, and they made her feel like an' _- o6 O+ g( c- Z0 y
interloper. She would occasionally move out to an apartment of her own in Palo Alto,
! S" }) }; U( L }especially after one of her torrential arguments with Jobs. “Neglect is a form of abuse,” she1 A2 U( B$ _+ _0 c4 i, u6 E
once scrawled on the wall of the hallway to their bedroom. She was entranced by him, but0 K9 o% k- V4 u# Y
she was also baffled by how uncaring he could be. She would later recall how incredibly
; s1 F+ n9 E% ?/ d2 u% A' l) Ppainful it was to be in love with someone so self-centered. Caring deeply about someone+ |: y: a. a& y8 F
who seemed incapable of caring was a particular kind of hell that she wouldn’t wish on
7 u" Q f; ^2 b- V% L" V' Zanyone, she said." n) ]% c. ?) _4 n8 i" H
They were different in so many ways. “On the spectrum of cruel to kind, they are close
0 u/ F9 K# V+ Qto the opposite poles,” Hertzfeld later said. Redse’s kindness was manifest in ways large
3 I5 h4 i$ l! {7 c4 s# m5 Jand small; she always gave money to street people, she volunteered to help those who (like
' p3 ^+ K# O' H W6 x& M: xher father) were afflicted with mental illness, and she took care to make Lisa and even8 I- o) K5 q3 G. G0 T- R: r0 ~
Chrisann feel comfortable with her. More than anyone, she helped persuade Jobs to spend6 p: l: {# g- g/ |/ i2 h
more time with Lisa. But she lacked Jobs’s ambition and drive. The ethereal quality that - X* c, u" Z4 h0 [/ O
& H3 W7 w( N4 p) v% g
- R9 s% d: o( D& ?( p/ z, U% H5 v& ~. O; B! w; s3 ]+ I0 l
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9 S( D+ H( L4 Y: X! g9 e4 w
7 o+ _* ?; H/ S
m; @4 U( E- h. t+ d
( q! h' Q7 L9 x( R1 B9 V- F" Hmade her seem so spiritual to Jobs also made it hard for them to stay on the same
$ w3 v. C: u0 [. H$ ~, Y+ Q: Bwavelength. “Their relationship was incredibly tempestuous,” said Hertzfeld. “Because of' v/ \: Z1 m. v ?
both of their characters, they would have lots and lots of fights.”
! `* b( Q+ P; `' I tThey also had a basic philosophical difference about whether aesthetic tastes were
8 N, @/ t5 I$ Q) U& M! ifundamentally individual, as Redse believed, or universal and could be taught, as Jobs" _6 S. `& Q1 p, @$ T4 Z( O
believed. She accused him of being too influenced by the Bauhaus movement. “Steve
2 \2 `, U; P: v. B; Jbelieved it was our job to teach people aesthetics, to teach people what they should like,”
4 p* h7 Y% A7 R5 eshe recalled. “I don’t share that perspective. I believe when we listen deeply, both within- H7 M( a9 ^* k. ]
ourselves and to each other, we are able to allow what’s innate and true to emerge.”
! Q% ^" I$ j: J8 r, x$ l& u' MWhen they were together for a long stretch, things did not work out well. But when they
+ S D! y: m4 ?were apart, Jobs would pine for her. Finally, in the summer of 1989, he asked her to marry
* D" ]5 Y$ P, p" y5 D; L4 `him. She couldn’t do it. It would drive her crazy, she told friends. She had grown up in a" b( R8 m2 Q. D/ k
volatile household, and her relationship with Jobs bore too many similarities to that
# R$ m0 I; h1 E4 m, \: fenvironment. They were opposites who attracted, she said, but the combination was too
; i9 D( s) h' r" @2 C# zcombustible. “I could not have been a good wife to ‘Steve Jobs,’ the icon,” she later9 g3 S4 \& X, k( ^* P9 P" j9 ^ _
explained. “I would have sucked at it on many levels. In our personal interactions, I
1 h3 N8 C! i* {4 bcouldn’t abide his unkindness. I didn’t want to hurt him, yet I didn’t want to stand by and
% \5 F r, X" O% v% Wwatch him hurt other people either. It was painful and exhausting.”! g0 @* W+ ]$ D% S: ]
After they broke up, Redse helped found OpenMind, a mental health resource network in. g6 B8 e: h" f/ t/ R
California. She happened to read in a psychiatric manual about Narcissistic Personality4 h& W0 K1 R, L! }( m8 ^( J p
Disorder and decided that Jobs perfectly met the criteria. “It fits so well and explained so
~, k) z0 f! q# F# lmuch of what we had struggled with, that I realized expecting him to be nicer or less self- M7 N+ P0 d% _ v# F/ ` x: }& {) U, t
centered was like expecting a blind man to see,” she said. “It also explained some of the
; {( `; b& {/ D; g# b3 Echoices he’d made about his daughter Lisa at that time. I think the issue is empathy—the
8 g! B) o& _: {- i) U& t- ^0 jcapacity for empathy is lacking.”" q: {# ^- }0 e7 n
Redse later married, had two children, and then divorced. Every now and then Jobs
+ z0 D& c* X% T1 k1 y+ i1 Mwould openly pine for her, even after he was happily married. And when he began his battle% G; {/ R2 G3 \0 i
with cancer, she got in touch again to give support. She became very emotional whenever
) @7 J/ s" T5 Lshe recalled their relationship. “Though our values clashed and made it impossible for us to0 v. a+ `* `& R7 h; c
have the relationship we once hoped for,” she told me, “the care and love I felt for him+ n3 K7 {( J0 ~; L( {% q5 }! {6 H) H
decades ago has continued.” Similarly, Jobs suddenly started to cry one afternoon as he sat3 m( y7 v& _% u. u3 r% m
in his living room reminiscing about her. “She was one of the purest people I’ve ever
* H/ i/ f+ }3 J! j" }1 x( vknown,” he said, tears rolling down his cheeks. “There was something spiritual about her& v2 d9 T& R6 |# D: D; [; j; z
and spiritual about the connection we had.” He said he always regretted that they could not
; R& d' C) j( `, {5 }1 ~make it work, and he knew that she had such regrets as well. But it was not meant to be. On1 I8 z% B/ o C1 }. p
that they both agreed.5 N- m# M6 }% O
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5 p/ {) n$ h8 g* H/ ~9 eCHAPTER TWENTY-ONE R; @/ U. D1 o5 w2 N6 S' ]
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FAMILY MAN/ d a4 b3 z! w/ Q. D
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3 [, L, i' b( t A! P; q& r' u# iAt Home with the Jobs Clan! w( T U! T+ }4 `. T. N
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4 A$ w8 x* k/ x1 ?' ~1 v6 N! \With Laurene Powell, 1991 J. ]& A; l) Y, f: J* O# |7 Q
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Laurene Powell
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By this point, based on his dating history, a matchmaker could have put together a
9 Q, r6 X4 C7 g) M% `0 |composite sketch of the woman who would be right for Jobs. Smart, yet unpretentious.
) m4 X% s8 U# q) H! }- fTough enough to stand up to him, yet Zen-like enough to rise above turmoil. Well-educated) y2 M/ E# |2 g$ X# ~7 g( T$ ]/ W
and independent, yet ready to make accommodations for him and a family. Down-to-earth,
4 T) `- I! O" C: kbut with a touch of the ethereal. Savvy enough to know how to manage him, but secure
8 K* |2 c2 t+ @2 L$ k7 V9 oenough to not always need to. And it wouldn’t hurt to be a beautiful, lanky blonde with an
$ k9 l4 w- V4 R9 x8 I# heasygoing sense of humor who liked organic vegetarian food. In October 1989, after his
. V: D+ B8 z/ l6 }3 p$ O0 ]split with Tina Redse, just such a woman walked into his life.
' k$ g& T& X7 s0 ^% EMore specifically, just such a woman walked into his classroom. Jobs had agreed to give! }* W& Z( z' F) _+ G* U ]& u- t. W
one of the “View from the Top” lectures at the Stanford Business School one Thursday" e; M* J1 o* L7 K" m
evening. Laurene Powell was a new graduate student at the business school, and a guy in - P8 _) G' J% a2 `! D
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her class talked her into going to the lecture. They arrived late and all the seats were taken,
" B0 z& `% F, q3 m3 Cso they sat in the aisle. When an usher told them they had to move, Powell took her friend
6 _7 K+ q9 z/ S8 h7 ndown to the front row and commandeered two of the reserved seats there. Jobs was led to
+ v4 \; ^ s. U6 athe one next to her when he arrived. “I looked to my right, and there was a beautiful girl
, a8 `% ~7 }& x9 x* K. _! ethere, so we started chatting while I was waiting to be introduced,” Jobs recalled. They* p+ f6 P. w( \0 X
bantered a bit, and Laurene joked that she was sitting there because she had won a raffle,) S4 a! V/ ?$ E. j8 X8 Q7 I
and the prize was that he got to take her to dinner. “He was so adorable,” she later said.
# {' I! P$ M+ E }3 w) e( GAfter the speech Jobs hung around on the edge of the stage chatting with students. He/ d5 J+ z' S' x2 _
watched Powell leave, then come back and stand at the edge of the crowd, then leave again.
( R/ d+ K7 b* z9 E8 M' m' XHe bolted out after her, brushing past the dean, who was trying to grab him for a
3 e( ^& j5 T" {* S) hconversation. After catching up with her in the parking lot, he said, “Excuse me, wasn’t
: J7 L9 \, _. n' g$ mthere something about a raffle you won, that I’m supposed to take you to dinner?” She
0 H% ^, q! o9 D0 j. o5 Claughed. “How about Saturday?” he asked. She agreed and wrote down her number. Jobs1 r4 O5 \- [9 v9 w v6 B
headed to his car to drive up to the Thomas Fogarty winery in the Santa Cruz mountains
" S8 K6 H: b6 i9 a/ `. wabove Woodside, where the NeXT education sales group was holding a dinner. But he
4 [/ R5 b1 L3 w5 a. Hsuddenly stopped and turned around. “I thought, wow, I’d rather have dinner with her than
" p1 \; x- h' p( ]5 \the education group, so I ran back to her car and said ‘How about dinner tonight?’” She; ~4 d: C6 c& C+ Q7 @ ~
said yes. It was a beautiful fall evening, and they walked into Palo Alto to a funky
3 w% ?1 t5 j5 t% Rvegetarian restaurant, St. Michael’s Alley, and ended up staying there for four hours." C; Z+ o J0 r, f
“We’ve been together ever since,” he said.
+ z0 l9 G1 R" f N. LAvie Tevanian was sitting at the winery restaurant waiting with the rest of the NeXT
8 Y+ l/ G3 L+ X0 u* |education group. “Steve was sometimes unreliable, but when I talked to him I realized that& ^! I# p" ]' p% f" v" _
something special had come up,” he said. As soon as Powell got home, after midnight, she: W1 C" o4 i/ C4 ^3 d
called her close friend Kathryn (Kat) Smith, who was at Berkeley, and left a message on2 X. |1 [* y* C
her machine. “You will not believe what just happened to me!” it said. “You will not" S* E7 h, e) b: T" N
believe who I met!” Smith called back the next morning and heard the tale. “We had known& A7 D D$ \$ m! g# n: I" T
about Steve, and he was a person of interest to us, because we were business students,” she
1 [! }& [2 D. Z4 y" Xrecalled.
8 V* \! R" {6 Y, [% ^2 U: z( Y# ~Andy Hertzfeld and a few others later speculated that Powell had been scheming to meet
& J" Q1 \2 t3 y5 l& M4 I: JJobs. “Laurene is nice, but she can be calculating, and I think she targeted him from the
2 |% Y2 B' C0 j( U! J' fbeginning,” Hertzfeld said. “Her college roommate told me that Laurene had magazine
: ~" `, }4 i7 W. k+ w9 vcovers of Steve and vowed she was going to meet him. If it’s true that Steve was1 G- ^4 n& O# v4 K- R" X
manipulated, there is a fair amount of irony there.” But Powell later insisted that this wasn’t! Y2 M5 B- T" Y( f: g
the case. She went only because her friend wanted to go, and she was slightly confused as v# G- [, g7 P
to who they were going to see. “I knew that Steve Jobs was the speaker, but the face I
9 W( {1 c" K* A8 i- M9 [) ythought of was that of Bill Gates,” she recalled. “I had them mixed up. This was 1989. He% P' @2 G" m4 t R7 {. z- A
was working at NeXT, and he was not that big of a deal to me. I wasn’t that enthused, but
' }3 R5 b) {$ z* tmy friend was, so we went.” v% ~9 L7 c5 j& V
“There were only two women in my life that I was truly in love with, Tina and Laurene,”
2 ], T& @4 T; p4 c: tJobs later said. “I thought I was in love with Joan Baez, but I really just liked her a lot. It, T- i/ p, x( d, P8 E7 B
was just Tina and then Laurene.”
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Laurene Powell had been born in New Jersey in 1963 and learned to be self-sufficient at an
& D8 U/ z! q [; W: }; \3 r2 O1 cearly age. Her father was a Marine Corps pilot who died a hero in a crash in Santa Ana,& C' X' [6 o2 h w6 ~9 f
California; he had been leading a crippled plane in for a landing, and when it hit his plane5 p! U" z& x2 M6 I! _" R
he kept flying to avoid a residential area rather than ejecting in time to save his life. Her! H2 O% h7 n$ [+ v9 k
mother’s second marriage turned out to be a horrible situation, but she felt she couldn’t
4 C' L. y" O5 bleave because she had no means to support her large family. For ten years Laurene and her
3 a' o+ k" |. U o) J- i# ~# ~; n# }three brothers had to suffer in a tense household, keeping a good demeanor while# ^' s. q3 S6 ~
compartmentalizing problems. She did well. “The lesson I learned was clear, that I always$ P7 r* W) V3 E2 o/ B2 M
wanted to be self-sufficient,” she said. “I took pride in that. My relationship with money is: O5 D9 N2 g$ |( M
that it’s a tool to be self-sufficient, but it’s not something that is part of who I am.”. v) ~) m" ?6 \4 O W
After graduating from the University of Pennsylvania, she worked at Goldman Sachs as
5 L# R2 L) C( N F1 fa fixed income trading strategist, dealing with enormous sums of money that she traded for; F$ G O: N! N" \. ]# ?% y$ }
the house account. Jon Corzine, her boss, tried to get her to stay at Goldman, but instead
# s7 C' E1 P/ u, D' u, A( ]she decided the work was unedifying. “You could be really successful,” she said, “but9 ?/ D9 `' u" S; U; `
you’re just contributing to capital formation.” So after three years she quit and went to1 ]! @6 _# z+ @+ m. Z/ F
Florence, Italy, living there for eight months before enrolling in Stanford Business School.( U; ]1 W$ m5 B6 `$ p" E G' n
After their Thursday night dinner, she invited Jobs over to her Palo Alto apartment on! P3 b+ {3 W: ?6 u2 s) R/ C* ^
Saturday. Kat Smith drove down from Berkeley and pretended to be her roommate so she2 ^$ j, g" u* j. S
could meet him as well. Their relationship became very passionate. “They would kiss and j! Z$ z4 v7 G
make out,” Smith said. “He was enraptured with her. He would call me on the phone and2 j; ]8 z J! ?6 f1 j/ g, X
ask, ‘What do you think, does she like me?’ Here I am in this bizarre position of having this. @) G1 t0 _, u, w* c% c
iconic person call me.”) B$ ]# {2 H3 _# g
That New Year’s Eve of 1989 the three went to Chez Panisse, the famed Alice Waters$ m1 [9 V3 Y2 a: n ?
restaurant in Berkeley, along with Lisa, then eleven. Something happened at the dinner that
! n5 F3 `2 l) E5 o* Icaused Jobs and Powell to start arguing. They left separately, and Powell ended up+ \- L9 {( D9 v2 N/ r( @
spending the night at Kat Smith’s apartment. At nine the next morning there was a knock at h. i" X% H0 a+ d; R: s: V
the door, and Smith opened it to find Jobs, standing in the drizzle holding some
1 Q( J4 D6 M. B2 z& L/ |wildflowers he had picked. “May I come in and see Laurene?” he said. She was still asleep,
1 K3 ]1 D' V4 A D1 H- w/ kand he walked into the bedroom. A couple of hours went by, while Smith waited in the4 i2 r* Z! R+ t* ^2 l; u
living room, unable to go in and get her clothes. Finally, she put a coat on over her
/ ?! j' _4 k6 C$ U6 ^2 |. @) b. @nightgown and went to Peet’s Coffee to pick up some food. Jobs did not emerge until after0 _: G/ l8 l! U6 ~
noon. “Kat, can you come here for a minute?” he asked. They all gathered in the bedroom.+ b- W0 n F- \. h- O* ~: e' ?
“As you know, Laurene’s father passed away, and Laurene’s mother isn’t here, and since
7 k! A% a- T lyou’re her best friend, I’m going to ask you the question,” he said. “I’d like to marry
~, \3 i9 j4 W- D8 ?$ |7 G. VLaurene. Will you give your blessing?”) C7 `' `+ y9 W o+ X
Smith clambered onto the bed and thought about it. “Is this okay with you?” she asked6 K( V, ^& A# m' A' |* D" T( n
Powell. When she nodded yes, Smith announced, “Well, there’s your answer.”
! W$ @6 _ |7 @# bIt was not, however, a definitive answer. Jobs had a way of focusing on something with
3 i! W+ w( k5 I/ winsane intensity for a while and then, abruptly, turning away his gaze. At work, he would4 }5 E3 W; k2 d. S! ^" c
focus on what he wanted to, when he wanted to, and on other matters he would be* b, J. [/ Z, N: l5 N5 S1 W U: y
unresponsive, no matter how hard people tried to get him to engage. In his personal life, he$ f, i/ F' T$ x
was the same way. At times he and Powell would indulge in public displays of affection
+ C3 n! [; m2 ]! c" m9 mthat were so intense they embarrassed everyone in their presence, including Kat Smith and
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; a4 J9 A) T, ?7 D/ ]Powell’s mother. In the mornings at his Woodside mansion, he would wake Powell up by
, A8 X2 K2 m) y( wblasting the Fine Young Cannibals’ “She Drives Me Crazy” on his tape deck. Yet at other% ~- ?/ N1 v3 b! f
times he would ignore her. “Steve would fluctuate between intense focus, where she was& K% { i" O! Z6 V. b
the center of the universe, to being coldly distant and focused on work,” said Smith. “He% O l( {6 b1 B3 j# N# I" M0 o/ c
had the power to focus like a laser beam, and when it came across you, you basked in the/ g: O: I( F8 [8 i4 P# L9 a- X
light of his attention. When it moved to another point of focus, it was very, very dark for
: w6 R/ d" ]" j- E. Ryou. It was very confusing to Laurene.”1 G+ q7 Q# ]- T
Once she had accepted his marriage proposal on the first day of 1990, he didn’t mention
8 m' ~5 W: l0 Z& Z6 m7 b4 U+ vit again for several months. Finally, Smith confronted him while they were sitting on the
7 O2 }2 L8 C4 |: z- } n" n: Pedge of a sandbox in Palo Alto. What was going on? Jobs replied that he needed to feel sure! S! ~0 ? @5 `6 W/ [7 q) K2 F
that Powell could handle the life he lived and the type of person he was. In September she
C4 F, d. @$ m# b1 {' S& fbecame fed up with waiting and moved out. The following month, he gave her a diamond
* ?7 o! ]6 `( Q& v* Uengagement ring, and she moved back in. ^# ?% C9 U& z1 x( I
In December Jobs took Powell to his favorite vacation spot, Kona Village in Hawaii. He
% ?) g( Y0 ~3 A$ j `6 _7 f: ~had started going there nine years earlier when, stressed out at Apple, he had asked his! }, o0 ~- ^2 x
assistant to pick out a place for him to escape. At first glance, he didn’t like the cluster of0 M0 k X9 s, r3 r C* a( c
sparse thatched-roof bungalows nestled on a beach on the big island of Hawaii. It was a
& ~( K( ?" U% H6 T* i- N$ efamily resort, with communal eating. But within hours he had begun to view it as paradise.+ {6 ` c: b/ v- m4 ~
There was a simplicity and spare beauty that moved him, and he returned whenever he
6 d7 Y' c) [& p7 G& Lcould. He especially enjoyed being there that December with Powell. Their love had- m: w* i0 r, O- O* J
matured. The night before Christmas he again declared, even more formally, that he wanted
8 `# L+ ^7 c2 Z( W6 b. h. R: Vto marry her. Soon another factor would drive that decision. While in Hawaii, Powell got8 v/ J. W& F/ R$ ?
pregnant. “We know exactly where it happened,” Jobs later said with a laugh.
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The Wedding, March 18, 1991
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