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Mona Simpson and her fiancé, Richard Appel, 1991
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Joan Baez- @+ o. |0 k' y% {3 Z
& @$ Z( B7 H8 E" rIn 1982, when he was still working on the Macintosh, Jobs met the famed folksinger Joan
2 U/ a( d; _( E8 Z: YBaez through her sister Mimi Fariña, who headed a charity that was trying to get donations
( p% }, {/ W; Vof computers for prisons. A few weeks later he and Baez had lunch in Cupertino. “I wasn’t
; i0 L7 d d" c! Q- w& xexpecting a lot, but she was really smart and funny,” he recalled. At the time, he was
2 D" V# ?. L+ d6 o, f/ Q8 fnearing the end of his relationship with Barbara Jasinski. They had vacationed in Hawaii," n1 {2 c" K& G; \
shared a house in the Santa Cruz mountains, and even gone to one of Baez’s concerts
?. P0 B+ @, ]together. As his relationship with Jasinski flamed out, Jobs began getting more serious with$ c* E8 n# {' t" w' k. M
Baez. He was twenty-seven and Baez was forty-one, but for a few years they had a
/ L, R, H( g6 r) Q9 Dromance. “It turned into a serious relationship between two accidental friends who became6 c* i: Y3 K5 }+ u# @( f( y; t
lovers,” Jobs recalled in a somewhat wistful tone.
+ { C6 @8 M; g# f/ y6 r! OElizabeth Holmes, Jobs’s friend from Reed College, believed that one of the reasons he* i* Q1 B! d, h5 \: W
went out with Baez—other than the fact that she was beautiful and funny and talented—( _, _! l( C* C7 c% e8 s+ f
was that she had once been the lover of Bob Dylan. “Steve loved that connection to
3 P5 F* W9 t: h. nDylan,” she later said. Baez and Dylan had been lovers in the early 1960s, and they toured' v, y3 I2 s+ S* c; U
as friends after that, including with the Rolling Thunder Revue in 1975. (Jobs had the
" f; `: f* w6 K! Fbootlegs of those concerts.)& H7 k2 Z. D& q7 O) x
When she met Jobs, Baez had a fourteen-year-old son, Gabriel, from her marriage to the
! Y% \2 G$ z. \7 t' f% o$ R E3 L3 Uantiwar activist David Harris. At lunch she told Jobs she was trying to teach Gabe how to
7 y1 {/ G1 f+ T8 n( h, Z* F qtype. “You mean on a typewriter?” Jobs asked. When she said yes, he replied, “But a! y# t( W8 C5 H' ?: j
typewriter is antiquated.”
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“If a typewriter is antiquated, what does that make me?” she asked. There was an+ q7 Z4 O5 v# j1 q" V: O
awkward pause. As Baez later told me, “As soon as I said it, I realized the answer was so
4 @; O x/ L, z% P; j2 C* ~* P% Dobvious. The question just hung in the air. I was just horrified.”
% v8 E5 l% V$ b+ R, p3 \! I& `$ @' D2 GMuch to the astonishment of the Macintosh team, Jobs burst into the office one day with
7 I; Z& E0 r' f9 R; K; hBaez and showed her the prototype of the Macintosh. They were dumbfounded that he
2 D. f7 {# o7 G. B n0 swould reveal the computer to an outsider, given his obsession with secrecy, but they were0 W, N+ Z: Z6 c: ]. x. A% n7 G
even more blown away to be in the presence of Joan Baez. He gave Gabe an Apple II, and( [) {. P6 l5 q. ^$ N+ g) Q
he later gave Baez a Macintosh. On visits Jobs would show off the features he liked. “He
& B( I, t- a+ V4 z$ r% r) uwas sweet and patient, but he was so advanced in his knowledge that he had trouble
1 K+ K7 L. M& M/ p7 Nteaching me,” she recalled.5 d' w1 J+ b. U' a! W
He was a sudden multimillionaire; she was a world-famous celebrity, but sweetly down-% c: [* t' ?2 q* a/ N
to-earth and not all that wealthy. She didn’t know what to make of him then, and still found
" M( v, p! {9 u. ]him puzzling when she talked about him almost thirty years later. At one dinner early in. U% |7 X2 f% |. G; q
their relationship, Jobs started talking about Ralph Lauren and his Polo Shop, which she
+ H" e/ l" b: z0 Y" {8 J' gadmitted she had never visited. “There’s a beautiful red dress there that would be perfect4 j+ H3 X5 S3 q, j4 G
for you,” he said, and then drove her to the store in the Stanford Mall. Baez recalled, “I said
) Q0 [" c8 ^ b8 m" B- Pto myself, far out, terrific, I’m with one of the world’s richest men and he wants me to have
, Q5 `* H) h3 o: N7 D& o: j. Nthis beautiful dress.” When they got to the store, Jobs bought a handful of shirts for himself
; J1 `" T5 k& Land showed her the red dress. “You ought to buy it,” he said. She was a little surprised, and
! K! _* h: l9 `# vtold him she couldn’t really afford it. He said nothing, and they left. “Wouldn’t you think if* ] u' |' l! v9 T# @
someone had talked like that the whole evening, that they were going to get it for you?” she
% x. e% ^+ ]& Rasked me, seeming genuinely puzzled about the incident. “The mystery of the red dress is
. T! ~' m, V5 S1 I, Bin your hands. I felt a bit strange about it.” He would give her computers, but not a dress,; d; q3 h2 @" A" _. Y' x& C
and when he brought her flowers he made sure to say they were left over from an event in
8 e, i9 n/ |" v1 D: lthe office. “He was both romantic and afraid to be romantic,” she said.+ B) o) Z) r4 p
When he was working on the NeXT computer, he went to Baez’s house in Woodside to3 O d' r3 ^/ I" p- R( V$ J
show her how well it could produce music. “He had it play a Brahms quartet, and he told+ W- b0 R- K9 h- T: X
me eventually computers would sound better than humans playing it, even get the innuendo' k. H/ H, i" d! U6 d6 ]
and the cadences better,” Baez recalled. She was revolted by the idea. “He was working5 K8 B! o% t8 }; I- x; m
himself up into a fervor of delight while I was shrinking into a rage and thinking, How
. |. ]) b4 v1 v- L4 M7 p; z1 K( r+ Q9 ^could you defile music like that?”- @+ l+ d% ~# B, U$ d
Jobs would confide in Debi Coleman and Joanna Hoffman about his relationship with
: ?6 G+ k& l6 ]# X' M1 iBaez and worry about whether he could marry someone who had a teenage son and was
9 F0 J! r. J3 H' I, z1 g% w% R0 sprobably past the point of wanting to have more children. “At times he would belittle her as
+ M" V; a2 w1 V ^2 Gbeing an ‘issues’ singer and not a true ‘political’ singer like Dylan,” said Hoffman. “She
# ^, f' N4 X7 u5 j0 v$ lwas a strong woman, and he wanted to show he was in control. Plus, he always said he
1 e* W. x! _2 T- }, bwanted to have a family, and with her he knew that he wouldn’t.” e* f' ^1 s6 |8 `( P6 T
And so, after about three years, they ended their romance and drifted into becoming just2 p# S; o$ T) }! H. M9 M( h6 A
friends. “I thought I was in love with her, but I really just liked her a lot,” he later said. “We& l5 e0 v. Z7 b# Y, O6 V
weren’t destined to be together. I wanted kids, and she didn’t want any more.” In her 1989, `8 M! k. g. K6 f# o8 U8 c5 X
memoir, Baez wrote about her breakup with her husband and why she never remarried: “I
Z v& Z$ Q/ X1 x8 c( \! cbelonged alone, which is how I have been since then, with occasional interruptions that are
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) B" _9 x: l3 K0 [mostly picnics.” She did add a nice acknowledgment at the end of the book to “Steve Jobs
" a# [- ~4 }1 n" c9 G/ e! q f9 wfor forcing me to use a word processor by putting one in my kitchen.”
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7 Y$ P4 T' h0 m1 Q) sFinding Joanne and Mona
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( x- a4 H j- h* \. Q* Q& q nWhen Jobs was thirty-one, a year after his ouster from Apple, his mother Clara, who was a4 D3 i* s/ q+ w2 a- X
smoker, was stricken with lung cancer. He spent time by her deathbed, talking to her in
0 v: x x1 C2 X& O. C% W* \/ pways he had rarely done in the past and asking some questions he had refrained from( x# f4 f; y6 p& k; K, t* x
raising before. “When you and Dad got married, were you a virgin?” he asked. It was hard' `# Q' O& Y4 Q, X$ d/ t1 F- }- I
for her to talk, but she forced a smile. That’s when she told him that she had been married9 J( @9 k! j8 U$ L4 A
before, to a man who never made it back from the war. She also filled in some of the details
$ Z9 A& f3 E) _* \2 a- G1 q% ~# rof how she and Paul Jobs had come to adopt him.
0 q, [3 Z' ]! d0 x: C8 s$ fSoon after that, Jobs succeeded in tracking down the woman who had put him up for
6 Z* }7 t# o9 {! }6 j' I$ z6 Eadoption. His quiet quest to find her had begun in the early 1980s, when he hired a6 U' s( n. `" @6 T
detective who had failed to come up with anything. Then Jobs noticed the name of a San8 P' A3 G6 m4 h$ u( U! m8 O7 ?
Francisco doctor on his birth certificate. “He was in the phone book, so I gave him a call,”
* \ ]8 k7 d- ^6 G" O" @Jobs recalled. The doctor was no help. He claimed that his records had been destroyed in a. i2 o; h# I2 d' D+ V
fire. That was not true. In fact, right after Jobs called, the doctor wrote a letter, sealed it in8 g: H9 p8 b/ C1 O& c) D$ @9 F! E
an envelope, and wrote on it, “To be delivered to Steve Jobs on my death.” When he died a
* `- d, I7 d% t; ?short time later, his widow sent the letter to Jobs. In it, the doctor explained that his mother
1 H8 I. W: g, Y: `4 P% l+ Y% Ghad been an unmarried graduate student from Wisconsin named Joanne Schieble.8 U$ x. o& g( H- R+ M. r
It took another few weeks and the work of another detective to track her down. After
7 P7 m3 o' J7 _- ~& y0 D8 {9 W) ogiving him up, Joanne had married his biological father, Abdulfattah “John” Jandali, and
5 h. Y( Y7 ? [$ k, a5 m6 Qthey had another child, Mona. Jandali abandoned them five years later, and Joanne married" r+ Z' M* ]' R6 B' f( x& M
a colorful ice-skating instructor, George Simpson. That marriage didn’t last long either, and
3 ]( y+ H1 s/ P" ^' j3 e Sin 1970 she began a meandering journey that took her and Mona (both of them now using
' Q5 \1 y1 G1 Q9 p/ r! G: b- v" Kthe last name Simpson) to Los Angeles.
$ _; y8 `8 d& Q' |Jobs had been reluctant to let Paul and Clara, whom he considered his real parents, know
. u3 H1 I0 `; n+ Wabout his search for his birth mother. With a sensitivity that was unusual for him, and which
. E, H* ^; E# C; b9 F6 L) zshowed the deep affection he felt for his parents, he worried that they might be offended." F# H0 m4 [2 q
So he never contacted Joanne Simpson until after Clara Jobs died in early 1986. “I never1 R' L/ J3 x2 s. r+ _, l# V- }
wanted them to feel like I didn’t consider them my parents, because they were totally my
1 e! S+ X* T7 f5 d9 a; b* ]) uparents,” he recalled. “I loved them so much that I never wanted them to know of my
$ [! G! w9 w; |( @) \6 \6 Nsearch, and I even had reporters keep it quiet when any of them found out.” When Clara
* N' x% y3 S( v! I% G6 g( m: Zdied, he decided to tell Paul Jobs, who was perfectly comfortable and said he didn’t mind at& L. @5 y7 O' @% v
all if Steve made contact with his biological mother.
; K3 s( ?+ F, k, h' g- j bSo one day Jobs called Joanne Simpson, said who he was, and arranged to come down to% J& u: n/ D: i) l. H+ z
Los Angeles to meet her. He later claimed it was mainly out of curiosity. “I believe in
8 c9 |2 d! |! P# n4 O$ G4 u; Cenvironment more than heredity in determining your traits, but still you have to wonder a, H. {; y9 }" A4 P# ?
little about your biological roots,” he said. He also wanted to reassure Joanne that what she
3 ]$ [0 m9 }8 ~* _3 Y% ~5 Qhad done was all right. “I wanted to meet my biological mother mostly to see if she was5 c& [2 I6 K0 Z D1 W8 y0 f
okay and to thank her, because I’m glad I didn’t end up as an abortion. She was twenty-
. D, D7 r% F" n9 y- P7 [' mthree and she went through a lot to have me.”
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! ^# X" E; x# b7 t) ]- e* ^3 VJoanne was overcome with emotion when Jobs arrived at her Los Angeles house. She5 [: X: \- X# |* p$ n
knew he was famous and rich, but she wasn’t exactly sure why. She immediately began to
% x3 K+ h- B5 e9 }6 O2 X2 ?) Kpour out her emotions. She had been pressured to sign the papers putting him up for F/ s# s' r, `+ d
adoption, she said, and did so only when told that he was happy in the house of his new, j# B3 l' P- s# j: c
parents. She had always missed him and suffered about what she had done. She apologized5 m: a. J+ _: y1 N4 {* j. ^
over and over, even as Jobs kept reassuring her that he understood, and that things had
3 |, i+ D K. s+ o- {2 x, Y; kturned out just fine.
/ R$ @9 x4 T) T8 P1 j7 C- [( iOnce she calmed down, she told Jobs that he had a full sister, Mona Simpson, who was# m2 q$ [5 G, n) G- C1 N Y0 h6 `' Q3 O
then an aspiring novelist in Manhattan. She had never told Mona that she had a brother, and
" c' \" B, g8 L! Vthat day she broke the news, or at least part of it, by telephone. “You have a brother, and4 b V! Y' B/ ^3 U6 m
he’s wonderful, and he’s famous, and I’m going to bring him to New York so you can meet8 F# B* S" ~( d& S6 @2 O4 [
him,” she said. Mona was in the throes of finishing a novel about her mother and their
; l1 S: b: i) C0 K, }peregrination from Wisconsin to Los Angeles, Anywhere but Here. Those who’ve read it( M8 _# ]( u2 K3 k1 W. C$ m1 [1 w* V
will not be surprised that Joanne was somewhat quirky in the way she imparted to Mona( L3 e3 x! N% ^/ ~/ z& R
the news about her brother. She refused to say who he was—only that he had been poor,
% `) }, w% y+ @$ _0 {7 Jhad gotten rich, was good-looking and famous, had long dark hair, and lived in California.
+ [ H9 p5 }; M0 ^9 FMona then worked at the Paris Review, George Plimpton’s literary journal housed on the
0 G. X- m! ^' L9 C5 Oground floor of his townhouse near Manhattan’s East River. She and her coworkers began a
( r! l! X6 y5 }0 W: M% d: Aguessing game on who her brother might be. John Travolta? That was one of the favorite3 l W* H5 _) E7 z
guesses. Other actors were also hot prospects. At one point someone did toss out a guess/ q/ u& Q! ^' Z
that “maybe it’s one of those guys who started Apple computer,” but no one could recall; Z3 y4 W$ t& ?4 L$ s5 b( {
their names.
3 s, ]2 f f8 F! a. _* ?. LThe meeting occurred in the lobby of the St. Regis Hotel. “He was totally
% W0 l: ]5 v* R: g* Istraightforward and lovely, just a normal and sweet guy,” Mona recalled. They all sat and. X) h' P# I( E6 l% O% N* Y
talked for a few minutes, then he took his sister for a long walk, just the two of them. Jobs& e* q" Q: J+ u: F' ^/ W9 p
was thrilled to find that he had a sibling who was so similar to him. They were both intense
4 C+ ?& v. Y' b _+ k% Rin their artistry, observant of their surroundings, and sensitive yet strong-willed. When they6 m2 {2 W5 P4 q5 J: K7 q. n
went to dinner together, they noticed the same architectural details and talked about them+ i9 U- F& J. u6 C/ D( R
excitedly afterward. “My sister’s a writer!” he exulted to colleagues at Apple when he- B% H4 {( `$ P, v+ _: O& b( M
found out.& c4 g# x, `, s! R+ ? v& j
When Plimpton threw a party for Anywhere but Here in late 1986, Jobs flew to New" b, H. O+ _' K6 _$ H5 k% ^7 e. f
York to accompany Mona to it. They grew increasingly close, though their friendship had
9 V& b7 y! |2 \( r1 Vthe complexities that might be expected, considering who they were and how they had1 X. G g3 i& Q% O5 s) v x, }
come together. “Mona was not completely thrilled at first to have me in her life and have
- b$ r% d2 {& Y6 H0 Iher mother so emotionally affectionate toward me,” he later said. “As we got to know each9 q1 N+ i1 _! P
other, we became really good friends, and she is my family. I don’t know what I’d do
5 r' `# Q. R. D( Z5 Zwithout her. I can’t imagine a better sister. My adopted sister, Patty, and I were never6 R' [% ^1 a% d
close.” Mona likewise developed a deep affection for him, and at times could be very# o A* L/ X& ^
protective, although she would later write an edgy novel about him, A Regular Guy, that
$ y6 {, D! u" H2 E4 V* {described his quirks with discomforting accuracy.
1 j J4 p& P1 `& z# ?One of the few things they would argue about was her clothes. She dressed like a
" z; t. T8 q$ o' ^0 Z; D+ p: `. Vstruggling novelist, and he would berate her for not wearing clothes that were “fetching+ L6 [3 q; }9 p5 |/ Y
enough.” At one point his comments so annoyed her that she wrote him a letter: “I am a
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young writer, and this is my life, and I’m not trying to be a model anyway.” He didn’t) C4 Z6 \8 X6 q' W/ k/ ?
answer. But shortly after, a box arrived from the store of Issey Miyake, the Japanese b2 {- H4 [- y
fashion designer whose stark and technology-influenced style made him one of Jobs’s
C( Y1 Y& m1 M/ _2 Afavorites. “He’d gone shopping for me,” she later said, “and he’d picked out great things,
: ^) W3 ~& o- r6 J& K# ~exactly my size, in flattering colors.” There was one pantsuit that he had particularly liked,! c6 B! K7 l2 u: N* P8 B
and the shipment included three of them, all identical. “I still remember those first suits I
0 t- t9 k9 ^" n" [# g1 ^; e& l: G# Msent Mona,” he said. “They were linen pants and tops in a pale grayish green that looked
6 J4 j/ u1 q5 U" H5 S( e6 sbeautiful with her reddish hair.”
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3 n& H3 B7 V' o& d4 zThe Lost Father
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# Y4 O+ X" Q8 ^4 p6 h, }In the meantime, Mona Simpson had been trying to track down their father, who had
2 C, s% Q8 o2 R& a& E5 L% Swandered off when she was five. Through Ken Auletta and Nick Pileggi, prominent9 @7 V( G4 s$ @* O& U% p
Manhattan writers, she was introduced to a retired New York cop who had formed his own9 j' T! x# D0 k, L8 ?$ X
detective agency. “I paid him what little money I had,” Simpson recalled, but the search
1 l$ P' }/ g ^/ N# L/ Ywas unsuccessful. Then she met another private eye in California, who was able to find an9 T/ J6 f! N+ m. d5 }1 z
address for Abdulfattah Jandali in Sacramento through a Department of Motor Vehicles' c A2 ]3 O# ^( D9 J
search. Simpson told her brother and flew out from New York to see the man who was) X, g2 E+ @8 o0 q
apparently their father.9 _, P. m7 U2 q; @- b- D0 _9 f
Jobs had no interest in meeting him. “He didn’t treat me well,” he later explained. “I
, }/ N5 l! F" I$ }don’t hold anything against him—I’m happy to be alive. But what bothers me most is that @" I Z. u, G m
he didn’t treat Mona well. He abandoned her.” Jobs himself had abandoned his own3 w* I( \6 f( s( a% f2 f
illegitimate daughter, Lisa, and now was trying to restore their relationship, but that
0 O1 B. l& J; @4 c1 T' Kcomplexity did not soften his feelings toward Jandali. Simpson went to Sacramento alone.
' q( r: G% V" \3 \. o0 Q“It was very intense,” Simpson recalled. She found her father working in a small
' F% p$ c- M) y prestaurant. He seemed happy to see her, yet oddly passive about the entire situation. They# ]: E! K H' |) k* j
talked for a few hours, and he recounted that, after he left Wisconsin, he had drifted away
3 x( N, j- Z' L: gfrom teaching and gotten into the restaurant business.5 B( @2 T& h6 h4 m3 _! \8 V8 ]
Jobs had asked Simpson not to mention him, so she didn’t. But at one point her father2 T0 E# a& Z, v3 R
casually remarked that he and her mother had had another baby, a boy, before she had been* [" P% K) o) u! V
born. “What happened to him?” she asked. He replied, “We’ll never see that baby again.( f/ @6 J/ I3 u" N& |, g/ a" a5 s
That baby’s gone.” Simpson recoiled but said nothing.
t; I8 A. W- X# PAn even more astonishing revelation occurred when Jandali was describing the previous! o9 `! [* S6 }: t3 B3 q
restaurants that he had run. There had been some nice ones, he insisted, fancier than the, m e, X# {; i1 ~7 w# l5 Y
Sacramento joint they were then sitting in. He told her, somewhat emotionally, that he
$ m" U* M9 h3 n: lwished she could have seen him when he was managing a Mediterranean restaurant north
8 }9 y; o1 U) A# ~of San Jose. “That was a wonderful place,” he said. “All of the successful technology
0 l: P$ i# X# f( j3 Wpeople used to come there. Even Steve Jobs.” Simpson was stunned. “Oh, yeah, he used to
: v: e+ M4 X& B3 D7 ^+ Acome in, and he was a sweet guy, and a big tipper,” her father added. Mona was able to
z; t! s* _: W; Q( o5 K* o: Mrefrain from blurting out, Steve Jobs is your son!
% }' A" }0 b' |4 o: Z" e- V9 kWhen the visit was over, she called Jobs surreptitiously from the pay phone at the
3 p3 p! f0 ]+ o) O$ e% q |restaurant and arranged to meet him at the Espresso Roma café in Berkeley. Adding to the( }3 G) F" W! F
personal and family drama, he brought along Lisa, now in grade school, who lived with her
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2 x- q* u5 n/ R q& i. d! c1 Smother, Chrisann. When they all arrived at the café, it was close to 10 p.m., and Simpson
) e( V4 i" {7 a" q2 x. W- W( gpoured forth the tale. Jobs was understandably astonished when she mentioned the: p8 I% ]0 F3 K
restaurant near San Jose. He could recall being there and even meeting the man who was
# ? P' i2 i# i8 {7 @0 w1 ihis biological father. “It was amazing,” he later said of the revelation. “I had been to that. E3 q! x( O0 |
restaurant a few times, and I remember meeting the owner. He was Syrian. Balding. We7 R, X: u. v% t. t& z, I" @6 A
shook hands.”
8 [/ O8 I( C; g* KNevertheless Jobs still had no desire to see him. “I was a wealthy man by then, and I* x j5 L2 E: u& Q8 ~# ?# t
didn’t trust him not to try to blackmail me or go to the press about it,” he recalled. “I asked+ C1 ^+ W/ y B5 E6 J$ {
Mona not to tell him about me.”
* t# H- U. s: G4 ]She never did, but years later Jandali saw his relationship to Jobs mentioned online. (A i) n; m! P; W4 t* p; t! W/ M( ]0 M
blogger noticed that Simpson had listed Jandali as her father in a reference book and9 W6 L1 i1 `/ C( m
figured out he must be Jobs’s father as well.) By then Jandali was married for a fourth time: W7 R, ?% a! s- B6 z( k4 V
and working as a food and beverage manager at the Boomtown Resort and Casino just west
. N5 _; t7 x0 v( L# |6 ~, Jof Reno, Nevada. When he brought his new wife, Roscille, to visit Simpson in 2006, he
' Q4 `) C N$ r/ a& o$ Draised the topic. “What is this thing about Steve Jobs?” he asked. She confirmed the story,
. R. F" F. z b2 K6 `( J4 q qbut added that she thought Jobs had no interest in meeting him. Jandali seemed to accept ~: I i1 {, Q9 X
that. “My father is thoughtful and a beautiful storyteller, but he is very, very passive,”- w/ H1 v# j8 Z5 T
Simpson said. “He never contacted Steve.”
& i( _. C" @& H9 y! GSimpson turned her search for Jandali into a basis for her second novel, The Lost Father,
) K4 U) m1 s) c M% Hpublished in 1992. (Jobs convinced Paul Rand, the designer who did the NeXT logo, to/ V8 [8 C4 H( P( A: y7 b' P$ d
design the cover, but according to Simpson, “It was God-awful and we never used it.”) She4 h7 Q; m2 a5 S. @5 [0 q3 ~9 Z' q
also tracked down various members of the Jandali family, in Homs and in America, and in
m' F/ R, Z3 |+ u6 |2011 was writing a novel about her Syrian roots. The Syrian ambassador in Washington+ a; t( X/ L: B+ n, D- S' y0 T/ S
threw a dinner for her that included a cousin and his wife who then lived in Florida and had. z+ R' F9 M( I% k
flown up for the occasion.. M# [0 |2 @6 l2 C' Z/ Y- S
Simpson assumed that Jobs would eventually meet Jandali, but as time went on he+ o) M$ x! Q: @5 Q
showed even less interest. In 2010, when Jobs and his son, Reed, went to a birthday dinner) i, r+ p8 a1 _/ G! w
for Simpson at her Los Angeles house, Reed spent some time looking at pictures of his( w( [. c. |4 o; N
biological grandfather, but Jobs ignored them. Nor did he seem to care about his Syrian
: C' ^2 L" S+ Y# [. Qheritage. When the Middle East would come up in conversation, the topic did not engage1 q1 j4 L, b6 i8 F* }
him or evoke his typical strong opinions, even after Syria was swept up in the 2011 Arab* R, P- u1 ]' H3 o) K: C7 c. y; ]
Spring uprisings. “I don’t think anybody really knows what we should be doing over
9 _) E, i7 H6 H7 r3 I- N: o. [# D, Fthere,” he said when I asked whether the Obama administration should be intervening more
+ J. P) f0 c+ ~+ Sin Egypt, Libya, and Syria. “You’re fucked if you do and you’re fucked if you don’t.”4 U8 i1 D$ t: v
Jobs did retain a friendly relationship with his biological mother, Joanne Simpson. Over1 i Q& \! Y& t. m3 I( Q, d
the years she and Mona would often spend Christmas at Jobs’s house. The visits could be/ f) X! h- m w6 ^
sweet, but also emotionally draining. Joanne would sometimes break into tears, say how
, w, c1 c9 w+ x# k; v5 a S6 wmuch she had loved him, and apologize for giving him up. It turned out all right, Jobs
9 X H# W- c5 l% ^( v' E) \+ T% Q$ twould reassure her. As he told her one Christmas, “Don’t worry. I had a great childhood. I
: L: h, `& n, J' H* _turned out okay.”8 A4 R6 @) o/ n i7 I
7 |% i$ ~/ G9 G& aLisa
9 {9 O. Q6 [/ P. _' Q0 S/ Q# G, z: c4 D8 Z6 N
; g9 @# ~/ f5 @# Q/ h
Y% B m5 k4 B( F- S3 a/ K, f. [, H$ X9 w, t" D7 x
) `0 f' \+ j7 @6 v2 Z/ m4 b5 V8 v# S- b' V4 @. O
# x' m/ T$ \; K2 b
3 m. @ I9 F: z2 c$ W; \3 z
1 y1 U9 |; E! c( _Lisa Brennan, however, did not have a great childhood. When she was young, her father2 { G4 p0 T3 z, z/ ~4 ^! ^8 u( H
almost never came to see her. “I didn’t want to be a father, so I wasn’t,” Jobs later said,
) v5 V! m# K/ l+ J& x; i0 Awith only a touch of remorse in his voice. Yet occasionally he felt the tug. One day, when
, v& }( S9 ] H% XLisa was three, Jobs was driving near the house he had bought for her and Chrisann, and he
0 ~ R2 S. n: A. u8 K7 r% |; H0 Odecided to stop. Lisa didn’t know who he was. He sat on the doorstep, not venturing inside,
9 C' U, b7 ^1 ~, @and talked to Chrisann. The scene was repeated once or twice a year. Jobs would come by
: |1 `5 v1 f/ Z) @' punannounced, talk a little bit about Lisa’s school options or other issues, then drive off in3 k8 q) e: X% v6 @) h
his Mercedes.
# G8 s! g! q9 F' |But by the time Lisa turned eight, in 1986, the visits were occurring more frequently.5 a, v+ [3 H6 a9 `
Jobs was no longer immersed in the grueling push to create the Macintosh or in the: N' g' F! I/ }# l
subsequent power struggles with Sculley. He was at NeXT, which was calmer, friendlier,3 h/ E, p( I9 \# C! z8 d& N2 M" X
and headquartered in Palo Alto, near where Chrisann and Lisa lived. In addition, by the% x: l1 N) O1 S/ i& s W7 D
time she was in third grade, it was clear that Lisa was a smart and artistic kid, who had; E/ x b5 ]8 i* X1 N1 T$ \
already been singled out by her teachers for her writing ability. She was spunky and high-7 e3 c& s; C! i7 `
spirited and had a little of her father’s defiant attitude. She also looked a bit like him, with. x- E9 u8 w& n1 ?& m `
arched eyebrows and a faintly Middle Eastern angularity. One day, to the surprise of his
( L4 g0 m9 P& A- n, Ncolleagues, he brought her by the office. As she turned cartwheels in the corridor, she4 W8 ?# L3 n: ?- H1 m# b! L
squealed, “Look at me!”
: F; Y* I6 j8 l! Q& s, {; q/ R! N* |8 cAvie Tevanian, a lanky and gregarious engineer at NeXT who had become Jobs’s friend,
" P" X& I' o( O: e* o) zremembers that every now and then, when they were going out to dinner, they would stop" M1 f- D0 C' l, h; }6 Y
by Chrisann’s house to pick up Lisa. “He was very sweet to her,” Tevanian recalled. “He( S+ O1 E0 @' ` _3 G- T4 _
was a vegetarian, and so was Chrisann, but she wasn’t. He was fine with that. He suggested% n2 S0 c* I- w. D/ H
she order chicken, and she did.”' ~0 a" }& U+ ^' o
Eating chicken became her little indulgence as she shuttled between two parents who
% P4 t6 V4 s7 V* _& x' ?were vegetarians with a spiritual regard for natural foods. “We bought our groceries—our& e3 W5 F) X: U1 Q# j/ C
puntarella, quinoa, celeriac, carob-covered nuts—in yeasty-smelling stores where the- Z! U) e: j& E
women didn’t dye their hair,” she later wrote about her time with her mother. “But we
. F- H s2 J0 L' c% ?sometimes tasted foreign treats. A few times we bought a hot, seasoned chicken from a7 L0 O1 F% k, A
gourmet shop with rows and rows of chickens turning on spits, and ate it in the car from the0 g) ], H, D) `( x; C1 w
foil-lined paper bag with our fingers.” Her father, whose dietary fixations came in fanatic
/ T# G( C& T" Y6 u6 U6 I- S$ cwaves, was more fastidious about what he ate. She watched him spit out a mouthful of soup2 j: W& c+ N; H T; s3 d. K' o" L/ I* X
one day after learning that it contained butter. After loosening up a bit while at Apple, he4 ~- x, M7 [; N" z, e& u
was back to being a strict vegan. Even at a young age Lisa began to realize his diet6 q3 Y7 R2 m8 L+ x; P
obsessions reflected a life philosophy, one in which asceticism and minimalism could
% O- g9 ~7 i# Mheighten subsequent sensations. “He believed that great harvests came from arid sources,/ X5 Y' S+ u2 Q# d# {$ o
pleasure from restraint,” she noted. “He knew the equations that most people didn’t know:
9 P# a1 M, T0 a$ m) pThings led to their opposites.”
) ?1 k$ O' ^$ y: E; D1 e" \! A, rIn a similar way, the absence and coldness of her father made his occasional moments of: W2 _3 Z. [. C$ E1 s
warmth so much more intensely gratifying. “I didn’t live with him, but he would stop by
, Z* I0 s6 K- w9 ^6 ]: D3 J; uour house some days, a deity among us for a few tingling moments or hours,” she recalled.
. t5 m1 j r. ?0 @9 L8 S$ t* hLisa soon became interesting enough that he would take walks with her. He would also go
# n4 g4 B& n2 y! @/ p( r7 `$ y1 qrollerblading with her on the quiet streets of old Palo Alto, often stopping at the houses of0 C# t- f0 z2 M, d
Joanna Hoffman and Andy Hertzfeld. The first time he brought her around to see Hoffman,
8 x% Y# H0 {: n" ^" n1 L w9 |3 x, T7 T; c
" J3 k2 [% {- `7 Z, M: C+ D* p* s! g Z, l% i
% }; `, A8 ~ m; ^! R5 H# r- [0 w+ C/ N
8 W4 I8 M" h$ [4 L4 f( ~
7 S8 s A. }, g$ X$ |* M$ O( s2 H3 E9 Q
/ F, T9 c$ c& }' \6 N' [/ o. Rhe just knocked on the door and announced, “This is Lisa.” Hoffman knew right away. “It2 T) U$ S; T( }! Q4 i% |# _
was obvious she was his daughter,” she told me. “Nobody has that jaw. It’s a signature
0 I4 D+ u5 e* B$ P+ Ijaw.” Hoffman, who suffered from not knowing her own divorced father until she was ten,
; S1 Y! ~, U2 I, @: ~encouraged Jobs to be a better father. He followed her advice, and later thanked her for it.
/ {3 z2 |. H4 e; v$ @# U9 E0 GOnce he took Lisa on a business trip to Tokyo, and they stayed at the sleek and
) m. ~3 W5 T, T; ]; [businesslike Okura Hotel. At the elegant downstairs sushi bar, Jobs ordered large trays of
& _2 z' e7 N: J% D) Wunagi sushi, a dish he loved so much that he allowed the warm cooked eel to pass muster as7 N& `$ i& b" m v8 T
vegetarian. The pieces were coated with fine salt or a thin sweet sauce, and Lisa0 v- O6 k+ K! f
remembered later how they dissolved in her mouth. So, too, did the distance between them. W3 h' L. P6 W5 e X
As she later wrote, “It was the first time I’d felt, with him, so relaxed and content, over' ^6 T+ m. n! s* F9 M, Q
those trays of meat; the excess, the permission and warmth after the cold salads, meant a
( H" Y0 q" w% |4 O7 ?. b2 w$ Yonce inaccessible space had opened. He was less rigid with himself, even human under the
; q1 q2 b0 v% f7 Ggreat ceilings with the little chairs, with the meat, and me.”
. n& {/ a, a9 t6 R9 f6 @But it was not always sweetness and light. Jobs was as mercurial with Lisa as he was
3 ]1 M( S4 D5 j1 ]: Q) N( Xwith almost everyone, cycling between embrace and abandonment. On one visit he would0 A& u* K0 p' V7 v
be playful; on the next he would be cold; often he was not there at all. “She was always
! C t6 e) W; N. cunsure of their relationship,” according to Hertzfeld. “I went to a birthday party of hers,4 N: M) c( e2 K7 x7 r% {
and Steve was supposed to come, and he was very, very, late. She got extremely anxious
% z8 _ Q; {* uand disappointed. But when he finally did come, she totally lit up.”
5 l- P/ s6 f4 w7 B! L# kLisa learned to be temperamental in return. Over the years their relationship would be a5 t. h/ f: [' f6 y
roller coaster, with each of the low points elongated by their shared stubbornness. After a
- p1 O* L7 ?; F) Zfalling-out, they could go for months not speaking to each other. Neither one was good at
- {0 H/ d- ~' G4 ~reaching out, apologizing, or making the effort to heal, even when he was wrestling with
6 a& @; ^0 h1 t) F6 s# Drepeated health problems. One day in the fall of 2010 he was wistfully going through a box1 w: X2 O% F5 _5 ?$ R( p9 l" \
of old snapshots with me, and paused over one that showed him visiting Lisa when she was
. \1 q; U; F' n/ G6 `1 I% Xyoung. “I probably didn’t go over there enough,” he said. Since he had not spoken to her all
! ~# l2 d) K& j _7 Mthat year, I asked if he might want to reach out to her with a call or email. He looked at me
9 ^3 _' X) O4 e$ z b$ a, Lblankly for a moment, then went back to riffling through other old photographs./ D: i T6 V5 D/ M2 H1 }" {) ~
9 I3 q3 @8 G6 b; G/ d/ s
The Romantic- J# W( B/ F! T; P
! j, t& W8 X7 { S$ h; x! XWhen it came to women, Jobs could be deeply romantic. He tended to fall in love* z5 @2 D: m+ J* Z; ^
dramatically, share with friends every up and down of a relationship, and pine in public
+ D* B1 V; Y) Q! B3 }whenever he was away from his current girlfriend. In the summer of 1983 he went to a! i- E$ l3 ]' ]# B' u$ R7 U
small dinner party in Silicon Valley with Joan Baez and sat next to an undergraduate at the
5 e( _9 i9 z5 o3 |1 _University of Pennsylvania named Jennifer Egan, who was not quite sure who he was. By I0 {7 ?' _+ K U) W$ o
then he and Baez had realized that they weren’t destined to be forever young together, and
0 A% | g# F3 b% gJobs found himself fascinated by Egan, who was working on a San Francisco weekly
1 j& G# i" t5 k/ e+ f' v4 pduring her summer vacation. He tracked her down, gave her a call, and took her to Café
/ b9 w- |& C5 g% ?) n, @; BJacqueline, a little bistro near Telegraph Hill that specialized in vegetarian soufflés.
, s' @' n1 ]' v" Q9 L* sThey dated for a year, and Jobs often flew east to visit her. At a Boston Macworld event,
, W: C& ]4 x8 Y) ?9 xhe told a large gathering how much in love he was and thus needed to rush out to catch a
) D* X# z) H" u( I5 yplane for Philadelphia to see his girlfriend. The audience was enchanted. When he was ; h5 n9 C$ t+ m) w
# k8 U) O/ J! M, j: J) W
0 r$ p B7 M2 M; l4 i& `* _# ?; F' ^
! s8 m# v4 \, s6 g" q0 `3 f" F3 z7 E! g& E& E5 P* M9 R
5 k* G) h- b3 V! W& \
) ^3 W1 u. i" h6 M; @$ A* ^" S4 c% u; V; H. ~. ~1 J, l
$ h+ b1 d, t+ N z) G( H9 S8 L- ^5 H0 F0 J* C" A
visiting New York, she would take the train up to stay with him at the Carlyle or at Jay
9 I: ?5 k/ O; W0 r" K5 IChiat’s Upper East Side apartment, and they would eat at Café Luxembourg, visit3 x; P7 v% B, z; ]& |, t
(repeatedly) the apartment in the San Remo he was planning to remodel, and go to movies
5 Q2 ^" _ x& U S F" Ror (once at least) the opera.% _8 ]: ^) k; T
He and Egan also spoke for hours on the phone many nights. One topic they wrestled
3 m3 _8 Y! b# H4 c$ Owith was his belief, which came from his Buddhist studies, that it was important to avoid
6 ]; \2 L1 a& \& i+ m% ^$ M6 ^! Jattachment to material objects. Our consumer desires are unhealthy, he told her, and to6 r" r, F- k5 p
attain enlightenment you need to develop a life of nonattachment and non-materialism. He
8 @7 i$ X7 L6 f Z1 Ueven sent her a tape of Kobun Chino, his Zen teacher, lecturing about the problems caused
! U- N; }: ]7 K+ Bby craving and obtaining things. Egan pushed back. Wasn’t he defying that philosophy, she' a/ m9 X6 O" |( k( z
asked, by making computers and other products that people coveted? “He was irritated by" O% @: {* f9 F
the dichotomy, and we had exuberant debates about it,” Egan recalled.5 }: O. X& D- m5 A6 C7 f+ M
In the end Jobs’s pride in the objects he made overcame his sensibility that people should
; u) M5 q7 U) c7 o I# p, j3 heschew being attached to such possessions. When the Macintosh came out in January 1984,# ~( F" Q/ g4 a6 Z% j4 b, S
Egan was staying at her mother’s apartment in San Francisco during her winter break from
/ z# {7 p( s, ]* ]4 N9 F" O* HPenn. Her mother’s dinner guests were astonished one night when Steve Jobs—suddenly
* F: K; B) v/ K7 r1 xvery famous—appeared at the door carrying a freshly boxed Macintosh and proceeded to
; X7 ?. M U, C5 {3 QEgan’s bedroom to set it up.
% B. B/ v( b' N2 w; MJobs told Egan, as he had a few other friends, about his premonition that he would not
8 P# L- Q+ j) x4 Plive a long life. That was why he was driven and impatient, he confided. “He felt a sense of* L( m2 O/ F- U `
urgency about all he wanted to get done,” Egan later said. Their relationship tapered off by
; K' t- ^8 x+ m: x! _the fall of 1984, when Egan made it clear that she was still far too young to think of getting1 h3 I/ m4 p( o6 ~2 ^
married.) Y" ` ~; v7 a" B; ~
$ R8 \+ g% p3 P" ZShortly after that, just as the turmoil with Sculley was beginning to build at Apple in early
9 c7 n* f* \( x: y: m! I% y1985, Jobs was heading to a meeting when he stopped at the office of a guy who was
( v& G% T( z3 Q/ M/ _working with the Apple Foundation, which helped get computers to nonprofit
/ U& m) ?% M4 Y% d/ h& \7 l9 [organizations. Sitting in his office was a lithe, very blond woman who combined a hippie
8 j8 n4 S6 H2 C8 p Aaura of natural purity with the solid sensibilities of a computer consultant. Her name was0 i% v" Q2 K# H) d, v7 G3 } c
Tina Redse. “She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen,” Jobs recalled.
+ c0 E: n3 D5 f0 s9 [He called her the next day and asked her to dinner. She said no, that she was living with5 f7 C" E) S9 a8 J' @
a boyfriend. A few days later he took her on a walk to a nearby park and again asked her
% c9 U& y1 R& n6 y% Tout, and this time she told her boyfriend that she wanted to go. She was very honest and7 @8 {3 h! b; m6 a% ]; v9 |- W1 a
open. After dinner she started to cry because she knew her life was about to be disrupted.
# i6 h- N( a! x6 P. K* c$ gAnd it was. Within a few months she had moved into the unfurnished mansion in
6 E9 s; M! V' |2 A" x5 sWoodside. “She was the first person I was truly in love with,” Jobs later said. “We had a g, |2 H3 \$ h2 k9 ?5 O; \$ h
very deep connection. I don’t know that anyone will ever understand me better than she! T8 o q/ D" p' q" G4 F0 j2 }0 X
did.”
r6 I5 \: Q/ W aRedse came from a troubled family, and Jobs shared with her his own pain about being$ r9 c! V) V3 x$ n2 s
put up for adoption. “We were both wounded from our childhood,” Redse recalled. “He
( n& l6 c' V8 o0 p) Msaid to me that we were misfits, which is why we belonged together.” They were physically
# k$ F& k, P' U1 V- S6 w; F5 D Lpassionate and prone to public displays of affection; their make-out sessions in the NeXT
3 t( o9 P W5 [- ]: T7 Elobby are well remembered by employees. So too were their fights, which occurred at 5 |4 N5 y3 B7 r+ Q! f) }. L( H4 X
& O. K- i( {- k- ]# d4 i
& b8 P8 k) Z( L
+ t3 X9 \* V1 Q8 q3 `6 M
B! ~+ ~0 R! q; J1 h
/ E; h+ U9 r0 K0 ]$ k% z0 D: t* ?( C/ C! `
, ]1 _5 R) H9 o* ^4 |
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movie theaters and in front of visitors to Woodside. Yet he constantly praised her purity and$ w! b$ g! ~: P) g. L* \
naturalness. As the well-grounded Joanna Hoffman pointed out when discussing Jobs’s
; i% B. r$ e+ c* v( ^6 h8 jinfatuation with the otherworldly Redse, “Steve had a tendency to look at vulnerabilities: M, F5 [! _! r) X
and neuroses and turn them into spiritual attributes.”# ?% ?: w" }* Y! n/ F5 d
When he was being eased out at Apple in 1985, Redse traveled with him in Europe,
% [, H7 M- ]. s1 l9 ?, C) _! ywhere he was salving his wounds. Standing on a bridge over the Seine one evening, they
% G* n f1 N6 g+ ?bandied about the idea, more romantic than serious, of just staying in France, maybe
" c& d+ k J9 G, xsettling down, perhaps indefinitely. Redse was eager, but Jobs didn’t want to. He was
; O ?- e. ^$ ^% F% V( C. h d3 zburned but still ambitious. “I am a reflection of what I do,” he told her. She recalled their; m, A3 L) Y/ m [- q
Paris moment in a poignant email she sent to him twenty-five years later, after they had
1 M3 c8 f j) Z4 D- ogone their separate ways but retained their spiritual connection:8 E# r. h) _# a# s9 M+ Z
We were on a bridge in Paris in the summer of 1985. It was overcast. We leaned against
: X, S3 {! W# b8 Y; u- Nthe smooth stone rail and stared at the green water rolling on below. Your world had9 T4 o$ C1 ]; d. ?
cleaved and then it paused, waiting to rearrange itself around whatever you chose next. I: N3 B0 l- b1 c [
wanted to run away from what had come before. I tried to convince you to begin a new life L4 n, f; N% O: M; L& Q
with me in Paris, to shed our former selves and let something else course through us. I
% w8 \: n4 Y. iwanted us to crawl through that black chasm of your broken world and emerge, anonymous' S' }% J! c% R5 [5 i- R
and new, in simple lives where I could cook you simple dinners and we could be together1 h) l9 k/ ^4 V' ~
every day, like children playing a sweet game with no purpose save the game itself. I like to
! N- e0 g* x; L& F; n, [think you considered it before you laughed and said “What could I do? I’ve made myself
$ Z- b/ W0 ?' {+ n* Xunemployable.” I like to think that in that moment’s hesitation before our bold futures/ Z3 H" ]) B& m
reclaimed us, we lived that simple life together all the way into our peaceful old ages, with1 F+ v0 V3 q ~2 P
a brood of grandchildren around us on a farm in the south of France, quietly going about) h# ^8 v Y* V# t' L9 R
our days, warm and complete like loaves of fresh bread, our small world filled with the/ d- f5 ~7 o8 ~" W& A
aroma of patience and familiarity.
# M% U) w0 N8 s1 _; ^
7 H1 r! J' c5 M" ~" Y( l- E" @) \" I; c
; ]% J! y2 i3 u0 K' S( ~8 Q3 ]The relationship lurched up and down for five years. Redse hated living in his sparsely
/ F/ e+ i8 m/ e) z, l0 `furnished Woodside house. Jobs had hired a hip young couple, who had once worked at2 L, {: E% J m9 _) b; j, ]
Chez Panisse, as housekeepers and vegetarian cooks, and they made her feel like an+ C- {0 P2 @& E% h1 C
interloper. She would occasionally move out to an apartment of her own in Palo Alto,( `7 W, \; L6 G6 N# d4 |
especially after one of her torrential arguments with Jobs. “Neglect is a form of abuse,” she' V' h6 v1 w7 y' z1 W4 g5 g8 j) K
once scrawled on the wall of the hallway to their bedroom. She was entranced by him, but" y. `0 X) y' X& W( {1 j$ b
she was also baffled by how uncaring he could be. She would later recall how incredibly6 C" ]' M9 g$ R
painful it was to be in love with someone so self-centered. Caring deeply about someone! a$ M! v) o; k( }4 f, `/ \- o' L
who seemed incapable of caring was a particular kind of hell that she wouldn’t wish on3 P! k2 J' Y% T! a- b( j
anyone, she said.
! b; ^. L5 ?, P3 UThey were different in so many ways. “On the spectrum of cruel to kind, they are close
# C& H) d1 `6 \( v' vto the opposite poles,” Hertzfeld later said. Redse’s kindness was manifest in ways large7 d* S' n3 _" V( r
and small; she always gave money to street people, she volunteered to help those who (like
; u7 o8 Z3 V aher father) were afflicted with mental illness, and she took care to make Lisa and even
) h( j# ^- ~# I! u1 tChrisann feel comfortable with her. More than anyone, she helped persuade Jobs to spend5 i/ J2 h5 ?6 ^$ ?
more time with Lisa. But she lacked Jobs’s ambition and drive. The ethereal quality that - m/ A+ E) |- B5 q- a4 H' K6 h/ y+ H
0 y9 K" f5 d8 z! E0 V4 Y; Y8 _* o& L' r
; Y: r1 s* L4 ~9 w8 }) O/ Y+ U4 y2 x+ |. H
9 v9 ^$ B! u5 k' |" z
) r1 O3 m0 l4 G5 p h2 I
7 g& |+ D* Z( |+ M, T6 `: |, n$ e$ y4 L! n! @2 T
C4 g& ^% b _# [9 d1 w9 e. }+ w. rmade her seem so spiritual to Jobs also made it hard for them to stay on the same
* T) m" ]1 z5 }9 Z" L& J% Uwavelength. “Their relationship was incredibly tempestuous,” said Hertzfeld. “Because of
( r) ?. [ J! J2 e/ Xboth of their characters, they would have lots and lots of fights.”
$ q8 ~( P- p" ~- k& oThey also had a basic philosophical difference about whether aesthetic tastes were
' r* l) P+ ]2 a8 wfundamentally individual, as Redse believed, or universal and could be taught, as Jobs& W5 Z1 \- {1 ?8 r
believed. She accused him of being too influenced by the Bauhaus movement. “Steve5 m, Z3 X H7 p8 Y6 z! y. T
believed it was our job to teach people aesthetics, to teach people what they should like,”- ~; J A6 T. v8 r
she recalled. “I don’t share that perspective. I believe when we listen deeply, both within
" l' u. E w# R" @& Hourselves and to each other, we are able to allow what’s innate and true to emerge.”
- i7 [; g7 v* B. c& AWhen they were together for a long stretch, things did not work out well. But when they
1 h& d) m5 v2 o3 u: o; s' W9 X9 ~were apart, Jobs would pine for her. Finally, in the summer of 1989, he asked her to marry( {9 e! [3 V5 T2 K/ |
him. She couldn’t do it. It would drive her crazy, she told friends. She had grown up in a7 j' D3 r/ E! O0 x
volatile household, and her relationship with Jobs bore too many similarities to that$ j2 T% ^, |' W
environment. They were opposites who attracted, she said, but the combination was too
, f& l. k* l, [% v* qcombustible. “I could not have been a good wife to ‘Steve Jobs,’ the icon,” she later) K6 c+ L' W6 |5 u& x. e1 G0 T
explained. “I would have sucked at it on many levels. In our personal interactions, I X! K$ C! j. f! x# `* `3 N
couldn’t abide his unkindness. I didn’t want to hurt him, yet I didn’t want to stand by and. v6 R1 D0 K, O3 u
watch him hurt other people either. It was painful and exhausting.”
) c% F9 X( P2 t$ S; Q7 P1 H6 lAfter they broke up, Redse helped found OpenMind, a mental health resource network in
0 v, b# B4 f) {California. She happened to read in a psychiatric manual about Narcissistic Personality
6 \; w' O6 f2 H- B5 P# o% fDisorder and decided that Jobs perfectly met the criteria. “It fits so well and explained so
A; D9 j+ `. Y: }2 ymuch of what we had struggled with, that I realized expecting him to be nicer or less self-
+ v/ Q+ O/ t5 L2 ?, q& Xcentered was like expecting a blind man to see,” she said. “It also explained some of the2 }1 N9 Z- u2 P) L( Z
choices he’d made about his daughter Lisa at that time. I think the issue is empathy—the2 \0 V) v1 T" a1 r2 c1 W, }; U: |! g+ e
capacity for empathy is lacking.”' Z2 n- K( W9 f- _2 b
Redse later married, had two children, and then divorced. Every now and then Jobs
. }. r$ e4 J" Rwould openly pine for her, even after he was happily married. And when he began his battle" \( p0 ?8 s- r# g- _ ]
with cancer, she got in touch again to give support. She became very emotional whenever5 @/ r' a `& R! H1 E
she recalled their relationship. “Though our values clashed and made it impossible for us to8 M0 Y) Y9 B9 _; _! Z
have the relationship we once hoped for,” she told me, “the care and love I felt for him
3 W# {+ ^8 y3 d2 {, Mdecades ago has continued.” Similarly, Jobs suddenly started to cry one afternoon as he sat
7 f: l2 x5 a" \in his living room reminiscing about her. “She was one of the purest people I’ve ever' F4 C' a0 x4 E1 q* b
known,” he said, tears rolling down his cheeks. “There was something spiritual about her7 v% P( k8 ~, N; Q
and spiritual about the connection we had.” He said he always regretted that they could not
/ v8 S/ K: M5 H) _make it work, and he knew that she had such regrets as well. But it was not meant to be. On" r! j' b: Y Y
that they both agreed.
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CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
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/ ~$ @: o4 [: f. l5 v* _& i* V- p2 KFAMILY MAN& v+ N3 ~3 W9 U% P
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0 { s5 V5 R5 C$ t% nAt Home with the Jobs Clan9 ~4 u! w( a |+ K1 g) m5 d- @: [ J
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& z6 L* T6 m l: h- EWith Laurene Powell, 1991$ V# X, j' r1 R: a6 u! y! v1 U9 `
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Laurene Powell
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By this point, based on his dating history, a matchmaker could have put together a( ^$ w! m+ A6 ]' S5 Z
composite sketch of the woman who would be right for Jobs. Smart, yet unpretentious.
( \" o) D" y) v7 ]6 J, G2 cTough enough to stand up to him, yet Zen-like enough to rise above turmoil. Well-educated% U1 y0 s& l, Y2 Y5 |( X( J& m
and independent, yet ready to make accommodations for him and a family. Down-to-earth,
: I+ r: B0 o! E4 o) E) Q% @ wbut with a touch of the ethereal. Savvy enough to know how to manage him, but secure
9 ~8 o# g4 K( Tenough to not always need to. And it wouldn’t hurt to be a beautiful, lanky blonde with an T6 H2 h# @$ o+ c/ k
easygoing sense of humor who liked organic vegetarian food. In October 1989, after his% G! X3 v( B: V1 _: B4 X
split with Tina Redse, just such a woman walked into his life./ `* [/ ]* ]: ` `* b0 Q
More specifically, just such a woman walked into his classroom. Jobs had agreed to give. u4 C7 r! N& t
one of the “View from the Top” lectures at the Stanford Business School one Thursday
+ U7 U( u4 f+ m7 ievening. Laurene Powell was a new graduate student at the business school, and a guy in
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8 q/ R4 m6 c0 N0 q4 W9 s. Z, J( qher class talked her into going to the lecture. They arrived late and all the seats were taken,: \0 ?$ ?) a' x, {
so they sat in the aisle. When an usher told them they had to move, Powell took her friend1 m6 x8 S+ S" C/ i) B# G" i1 N
down to the front row and commandeered two of the reserved seats there. Jobs was led to% B& o7 G) B% y# Y% m8 [
the one next to her when he arrived. “I looked to my right, and there was a beautiful girl% x) A* L, n# ]1 U4 z
there, so we started chatting while I was waiting to be introduced,” Jobs recalled. They
6 V9 ~0 u! ~1 R7 M# z# s( C& ]* pbantered a bit, and Laurene joked that she was sitting there because she had won a raffle,. m: O7 b" U4 D- o4 h# x
and the prize was that he got to take her to dinner. “He was so adorable,” she later said.5 j8 n# ?& o/ P* _& x, d
After the speech Jobs hung around on the edge of the stage chatting with students. He
8 F6 P6 T, }6 t$ V( L6 R4 C3 Mwatched Powell leave, then come back and stand at the edge of the crowd, then leave again.' v& k# W2 x2 _
He bolted out after her, brushing past the dean, who was trying to grab him for a
) K3 b( Z1 s1 e5 L3 h. k; @conversation. After catching up with her in the parking lot, he said, “Excuse me, wasn’t3 Z3 [/ B6 j, X& Y! t% g+ [
there something about a raffle you won, that I’m supposed to take you to dinner?” She
j7 g8 p ^. _' Y g: Y+ O5 ?& a8 j; vlaughed. “How about Saturday?” he asked. She agreed and wrote down her number. Jobs
, p3 B, }7 o0 ~' u% b- Fheaded to his car to drive up to the Thomas Fogarty winery in the Santa Cruz mountains
. m: e2 _. D6 H( l3 `above Woodside, where the NeXT education sales group was holding a dinner. But he
6 D+ H; R" j4 E& t4 T. Esuddenly stopped and turned around. “I thought, wow, I’d rather have dinner with her than1 n* a0 T" j. U$ J- O* ^
the education group, so I ran back to her car and said ‘How about dinner tonight?’” She
3 h# j: ?% M. G( z9 b8 Y7 x( ^; {& bsaid yes. It was a beautiful fall evening, and they walked into Palo Alto to a funky
5 s- Y+ k1 q6 r- \3 c, kvegetarian restaurant, St. Michael’s Alley, and ended up staying there for four hours.9 W9 Q+ I9 [2 q; d7 S, a& b
“We’ve been together ever since,” he said.9 x3 F9 W2 ^ | I) s9 d% c
Avie Tevanian was sitting at the winery restaurant waiting with the rest of the NeXT
9 L# _7 O' R1 c; }( eeducation group. “Steve was sometimes unreliable, but when I talked to him I realized that
. C3 T' r! b* {8 S& ssomething special had come up,” he said. As soon as Powell got home, after midnight, she
! e5 f1 b- u" f2 K% n! D; z l' \( qcalled her close friend Kathryn (Kat) Smith, who was at Berkeley, and left a message on, N+ g, ?' V, P6 B& f" t
her machine. “You will not believe what just happened to me!” it said. “You will not
' c6 J" R# s7 L& P6 bbelieve who I met!” Smith called back the next morning and heard the tale. “We had known
4 ^) Y) n7 M6 g8 J- g0 ?about Steve, and he was a person of interest to us, because we were business students,” she) U* `2 [) K* {5 B! T
recalled.5 Q: c9 e! q. G* L P, F! a
Andy Hertzfeld and a few others later speculated that Powell had been scheming to meet
8 Y7 v' _4 Y4 PJobs. “Laurene is nice, but she can be calculating, and I think she targeted him from the
0 Z& U8 _2 a, ]) y9 Z- n2 L2 Ebeginning,” Hertzfeld said. “Her college roommate told me that Laurene had magazine& b3 j' ?% t- \( ~4 P/ V
covers of Steve and vowed she was going to meet him. If it’s true that Steve was
5 K3 S4 p6 Y3 F! P0 N9 K9 Cmanipulated, there is a fair amount of irony there.” But Powell later insisted that this wasn’t
2 Y) C1 I8 B# E: ^& X! |the case. She went only because her friend wanted to go, and she was slightly confused as) D; S! W3 K/ f
to who they were going to see. “I knew that Steve Jobs was the speaker, but the face I S0 U& J* \3 T/ n0 ^. [) Q+ _7 X
thought of was that of Bill Gates,” she recalled. “I had them mixed up. This was 1989. He
- G+ i8 y" L7 A l5 Iwas working at NeXT, and he was not that big of a deal to me. I wasn’t that enthused, but2 Q1 T; V3 x+ C5 P( U
my friend was, so we went.”
- V! g2 n7 ~; Z; t) \6 T2 h& o4 z“There were only two women in my life that I was truly in love with, Tina and Laurene,”
/ y$ C7 u2 P, JJobs later said. “I thought I was in love with Joan Baez, but I really just liked her a lot. It2 {0 w, D: X6 b3 ?2 Q* w, k
was just Tina and then Laurene.” : D2 G4 |* z: C, X- i, }; j* p
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+ K& x! D2 z' A5 h. bLaurene Powell had been born in New Jersey in 1963 and learned to be self-sufficient at an
# o' m+ Y0 A7 e7 z3 hearly age. Her father was a Marine Corps pilot who died a hero in a crash in Santa Ana,+ n7 B& o9 l5 n
California; he had been leading a crippled plane in for a landing, and when it hit his plane, j" G& Z4 k6 }
he kept flying to avoid a residential area rather than ejecting in time to save his life. Her5 S" f0 p( \# J r/ |% R4 t/ `- v& K1 t$ e
mother’s second marriage turned out to be a horrible situation, but she felt she couldn’t2 {; B7 C6 J% E8 Z2 T% J& l
leave because she had no means to support her large family. For ten years Laurene and her
1 J& h# N1 X1 u% mthree brothers had to suffer in a tense household, keeping a good demeanor while
) s* f1 a5 y# I0 \ m3 g/ m+ Pcompartmentalizing problems. She did well. “The lesson I learned was clear, that I always' A: s) o. W9 `, A. r' S! e
wanted to be self-sufficient,” she said. “I took pride in that. My relationship with money is) ~1 [: _1 M$ i5 F; N5 s$ X3 P
that it’s a tool to be self-sufficient, but it’s not something that is part of who I am.”' O7 w& x' H7 {0 b( \ [/ Z
After graduating from the University of Pennsylvania, she worked at Goldman Sachs as
" c4 f3 U( M2 t+ v! S) ma fixed income trading strategist, dealing with enormous sums of money that she traded for
5 S: S. A2 h- L; ?% c1 E) \the house account. Jon Corzine, her boss, tried to get her to stay at Goldman, but instead# G6 d- k! r' e' u
she decided the work was unedifying. “You could be really successful,” she said, “but
9 p* p1 T. V4 ?" A3 d" g. X/ Ryou’re just contributing to capital formation.” So after three years she quit and went to
2 M Z$ w5 k# {2 j9 fFlorence, Italy, living there for eight months before enrolling in Stanford Business School.- {$ w- ~; i% b/ b. w
After their Thursday night dinner, she invited Jobs over to her Palo Alto apartment on7 X$ K6 y$ J% V; N5 C
Saturday. Kat Smith drove down from Berkeley and pretended to be her roommate so she0 k0 U2 I2 D o( S* c
could meet him as well. Their relationship became very passionate. “They would kiss and
' @" @$ K/ W# h8 f' Y- o" ?make out,” Smith said. “He was enraptured with her. He would call me on the phone and
1 f. ]+ |0 u1 f, D% Wask, ‘What do you think, does she like me?’ Here I am in this bizarre position of having this
3 U; c& n* F- `. _! W1 k( D1 ciconic person call me.”
+ ?" E* |8 X4 w4 t& _1 D# n u* hThat New Year’s Eve of 1989 the three went to Chez Panisse, the famed Alice Waters
* P8 q+ z2 h+ k A% h/ U3 z1 Lrestaurant in Berkeley, along with Lisa, then eleven. Something happened at the dinner that
/ s6 K% Q" T, ~4 o* q$ `4 scaused Jobs and Powell to start arguing. They left separately, and Powell ended up
* c9 f! S3 @: Z+ I' ]( |spending the night at Kat Smith’s apartment. At nine the next morning there was a knock at: @5 }) K3 J& \0 @; M
the door, and Smith opened it to find Jobs, standing in the drizzle holding some' z- d' Y$ _( x. A7 k( T
wildflowers he had picked. “May I come in and see Laurene?” he said. She was still asleep,! b j- o4 K# | h/ T
and he walked into the bedroom. A couple of hours went by, while Smith waited in the5 u# O" \% P' ?0 n: v
living room, unable to go in and get her clothes. Finally, she put a coat on over her
$ [+ g* g& x; _4 k8 t' J! mnightgown and went to Peet’s Coffee to pick up some food. Jobs did not emerge until after
8 N- \( w m2 K: }, Rnoon. “Kat, can you come here for a minute?” he asked. They all gathered in the bedroom.' F& f C7 G: q! u* u C. s
“As you know, Laurene’s father passed away, and Laurene’s mother isn’t here, and since8 l, `& [2 C$ M9 U7 o
you’re her best friend, I’m going to ask you the question,” he said. “I’d like to marry1 m3 p4 o; ?- v$ t4 K9 s! n
Laurene. Will you give your blessing?”
. v( \+ w4 _6 wSmith clambered onto the bed and thought about it. “Is this okay with you?” she asked
% ^7 \2 y: S+ q, LPowell. When she nodded yes, Smith announced, “Well, there’s your answer.”, v0 D& V) u" z$ o c/ k& t8 Z
It was not, however, a definitive answer. Jobs had a way of focusing on something with' w) @& L/ e0 c
insane intensity for a while and then, abruptly, turning away his gaze. At work, he would+ I" N+ V9 Y8 B' D0 ]
focus on what he wanted to, when he wanted to, and on other matters he would be
$ r. E$ e; N8 G% Eunresponsive, no matter how hard people tried to get him to engage. In his personal life, he' a4 E0 z/ r) ?* I/ ]# G
was the same way. At times he and Powell would indulge in public displays of affection% I3 c7 G. c) ~( g7 Y& P
that were so intense they embarrassed everyone in their presence, including Kat Smith and & F3 E( ]2 @" B5 z2 r1 c# [
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Powell’s mother. In the mornings at his Woodside mansion, he would wake Powell up by/ K6 m% I( _) @8 |' ^4 ?: z' O, o: f
blasting the Fine Young Cannibals’ “She Drives Me Crazy” on his tape deck. Yet at other* R3 n# m( g0 \7 i1 I! P4 l
times he would ignore her. “Steve would fluctuate between intense focus, where she was
& z. X% P( \. S/ G! _the center of the universe, to being coldly distant and focused on work,” said Smith. “He+ m' i( f3 ^$ T; I
had the power to focus like a laser beam, and when it came across you, you basked in the
+ U# a. |5 g- z9 b1 c/ Ilight of his attention. When it moved to another point of focus, it was very, very dark for6 o. c4 V D, L0 a4 Z/ z+ z5 d
you. It was very confusing to Laurene.”
( z1 @' O; y" G5 y) O$ h2 hOnce she had accepted his marriage proposal on the first day of 1990, he didn’t mention
! n# A. O, i3 wit again for several months. Finally, Smith confronted him while they were sitting on the
' E$ O5 z. j0 j2 o. V8 @edge of a sandbox in Palo Alto. What was going on? Jobs replied that he needed to feel sure( m$ S4 R% U$ C- `
that Powell could handle the life he lived and the type of person he was. In September she
# U. J3 U+ z8 B, g- W& y" Vbecame fed up with waiting and moved out. The following month, he gave her a diamond
; M8 ?( Y7 C$ X, a/ L: kengagement ring, and she moved back in.
, w/ i1 D$ b2 D& h. S FIn December Jobs took Powell to his favorite vacation spot, Kona Village in Hawaii. He
. p0 _! D# v# D5 ^. `1 O7 `had started going there nine years earlier when, stressed out at Apple, he had asked his- u9 [% o( l4 K8 q: @ B# ~0 c) Z$ R
assistant to pick out a place for him to escape. At first glance, he didn’t like the cluster of; s- b- S' E. M. S! o* Y
sparse thatched-roof bungalows nestled on a beach on the big island of Hawaii. It was a
' F4 v- N# h x, {% c& d8 T: h. }8 A+ [family resort, with communal eating. But within hours he had begun to view it as paradise.
# E t# L5 g0 e5 n: N- aThere was a simplicity and spare beauty that moved him, and he returned whenever he, Q8 e6 s! H( ^" A. c/ J
could. He especially enjoyed being there that December with Powell. Their love had8 U& }' ` d) W, h- O+ O
matured. The night before Christmas he again declared, even more formally, that he wanted
3 v% L$ C2 p* P% Ato marry her. Soon another factor would drive that decision. While in Hawaii, Powell got% N6 ]$ L3 R# x; O+ D
pregnant. “We know exactly where it happened,” Jobs later said with a laugh.
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The Wedding, March 18, 19918 q7 w( N3 r6 V+ | C \. d5 @2 e
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